


Don't Hold Me ('Cause I am Falling Back Down)

by 1980shorrorfilm



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Curse, Calamity Jane is a dog in this because i can, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nerd Nicole Haught, Nicole Haught Backstory, Nicole Haught Needs A Hug, Nicole also has glasses so prepare yourselves for that, Photographer Nicole Haught, Photography, Professor Waverly Earp, Purgatory but as a big city, Sexual Harassment, Wynnona Earp Being Wynonna Earp, my hc of her is sad and anxious, nicole always needs a hug in my fics and i'm sorry, photojournalist Nicole Haught
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-01-05 19:10:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 40,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18372305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1980shorrorfilm/pseuds/1980shorrorfilm
Summary: Nicole Haught has spent her entire life with a camera hanging from her neck. If she's always looking through a lens, that means there's something between her and the rest of the world.Though when Nicole meets Waverly Earp, she begins to think that maybe some people are bigger than pictures.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, y'all. So, here I am with this. I haven't written a multi-chapter fanfic in a long while, but I'm giving it a go. I honestly have no clue what direction I want to go in with this, so you'll have to bear with me. I hope you enjoy. :) *Title is from the song Don't Hold Me by Dean Lewis*

_Nicole Haught is merely three years old the first time a camera calls out to her. It's nothing special; a disposable Fujifilm from '89, with most of the film used at her sister's first birthday party. Her parents haven't gotten around to developing it, much like they haven't gotten around to actually paying attention to Nicole. She's not really sure what it does, but it makes a funny noise, and it makes Nicole laugh. Until her father finds her, tucked away in a corner, playing with the plastic box._

_He shouts. And he bangs his fist against the counter. And when Nicole goes to daycare the next day, her mother tells everyone that the bruise on her cheek is from her falling while playing near the stairs. (She didn't.)_

_She doesn't go near a camera again for a while. Not until she realized that his blows hurt less when she was holding one._

 

* * * * *

 

Nicole is walking home from work, hands wrapped around the grips of her camera, when she spots a gorgeous brunette sitting by the fountain, nose in a book. There's something almost surreal about the vision of the woman. It's a park that she has to go out of her way a bit to incorporate into her route, but the rare moments like these make it totally worth it. She raises the viewfinder to her eye and snaps a photo without much thought. The girl, even more stunning now that Nicole can see her whole face, looks up from her book and gives Nicole a quizzical look. 

"Did you just take a picture of me?" Waverly narrows her eyes at the woman in front of her. And while she doubts that a pretty redhead who somehow makes a sweater vest look hot would be shady, it still leaves a little room for concern. And Waverly's never been one for pictures. 

"Oh, uh, yeah." Nicole scratches the back of her neck and prays that her ears aren't red. "I-I'm a photographer." The girl nods skeptically.

"I see that. But, you know, that doesn't mean you just get to take pictures of people without their consent." 

"No, no. Sorry, I was going to ask you if you minded, but I just— you looked very peaceful and I didn't want to disrupt that. It messes with the vibe of the photo if it's not natural. I'm really sorry." 

"Well, stranger-who-takes-pictures-of-other-strangers, are you at least going to let me see this photo?" She asks, raising her eyebrows. 

"Nicole." 

"What?"

"My name. Now I'm not a stranger photographing a stranger, I'm Nicole photographing . . ." She trails off, waiting for the woman to give her name. 

"Waverly."

"Waverly. That's a lovely name. And now that we've addressed that, I'd be happy to show you the picture." She takes a seat beside Waverly, planting her wingtips next to Waverly's Converse." The Nikon strap is still around her neck, requiring a rather close proximity for Waverly to be able to see it. "So, Waverly, what do you think?"

"I look. . . good," Waverly says, but it almost sounds like a question. Nicole smiles, "Well, I sure think so." Waverly's face flushes. 

"C-Can I have that?" Waverly asks, looking up at her. Nicole shifts, pulling her phone out of her pocket. 

"Can I have your number?" Nicole shoots back, smiling shyly. Waverly realizes she has dimples, and  _oh my fucking hell can she get any better looking._  Waverly splutters, and Nicole's grin morphs into a sly smirk. "So I can send you the photo. . . obviously." 

"R-Right. Of course." It takes Waverly a full five seconds to remember what she was supposed to be doing when Nicole flashes that stupidly hot smirk. She comes to her senses after a moment and takes Nicole's phone from her. 

When she hands it back, Nicole moves to stand. "Waverly Earp," she says, almost like she's testing out the say it sounds in her mouth. Nicole likes it. "It's been a pleasure. I'll be sending you that photo. And, should you want to, maybe even ask you out." 

Waverly smiles at her feet. "Well, should you do it, I'd maybe even say yes."

"Then, perhaps, I'll see you later, Miss Earp." 

"Perhaps you will, Miss. . ."

"Haught." Nicole finishes. Waverly's expression is quizzical, and her cheeks blush a bright pink. Nicole chuckles and her hand moves to a pocket on the camera bag at her side. She pulls out a worn business card and hands it to Waverly. With a wave, she's gone, walking in the other direction. Waverly looks down at the card.

_Her last name, dumbass._ Waverly shakes her head. "Of fucking course."

 

* * * * *

 

**_**_Nicole Haught [11:43PM]:  (Photo Attachment: 1 image)_ ** _ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:43PM]:_ ** **_Hey, here's the photo you asked for. Sorry it's so late; this is peak activity time for me._ **

_She used a semicolon correctly,_ Waverly thinks.  _She might as well be sexting, because damn._

**_Waverly Earp [11:44PM]: Thank you so much! Do I owe you anything?_ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:44PM]: I normally charge commission. . ._ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:44PM]: So let me take you out to dinner._ **

**_Waverly Earp [11:46PM]: You know the apartment block on the corner of Main and 5th?_ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:47PM]: I pass it on my way to work._ **

**_Waverly Earp [11:50PM]: I live in 32A on the third floor._ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:52PM]: I'll pick you up at 7. Wear something nice._ **

**_Waverly Earp [11:52PM]: What? Were my jeans not good enough for you today?_ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:55PM]: Please. You'd look good in anything (or nothing. . .) But I'm trying to make a good first impression._ **

**_Waverly Earp [11:57PM]: I could say the same about you. But I think you've done alright with the impression so far._ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:58PM]: ** _Then I'll see you, in something nice, at 7._**_ **

Nicole packs up her work and stands up from the kitchen table. She hasn't been getting much work done anyway.

Waverly flops back on her bed and grins to herself. Then she takes a cold shower. 

 

* * * * *

 

Waverly's just finishing curling her hair when there's a knock on her door. She takes one last look in the mirror and smooths out her dress. Waverly is certainly not prepared for what she sees when she opens the door. Nicole Haught is wearing a fucking bowtie.

Along with navy chinos, a pair of brown wingtips, and a white button-down. Waverly's thinking about forgetting dinner and just inviting Nicole to spend their date in her bedroom, even if they are practically strangers. Nicole's thinking the same thing, looking at Waverly in her light blue cocktail dress. Even in heels, she's still not as tall as Nicole. 

"Wow." Nicole scratches the back of her neck. "You're beautiful." 

Waverly flushes, looking down. "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself, Haught." She steps out into the hallway, smelling something sweet on Nicole. After she locks the door, she turns to see Nicole holding her hand out. 

"Shall we?" Nicole asks. Waverly smiles at her and takes her hand. 

 

 

They're sitting in a dimly lit restaurant, talking over a bottle of wine, and Waverly still can't get over how hot Nicole looks. Her short red hair falls just below her chin, and it moves a little bit as she talks. 

"So you're a photojournalist?"

"Yup. But, I have a print shop online too. I'd like to start doing more of that, but my editor has me working pretty hard lately. What do you do?" 

"I'm a history professor at the university." 

"That's cool; history was my worst subject in school though." 

"Maybe I could teach you a thing or two." Waverly winks, and Nicole nearly spits out her drink. But she recovers quickly, charming as ever. 

"I  _definitely_ would have payed attention in class if my teacher looked like you." Both women are blushing as they fire lines back and forth, but they fall into easy conversation rather quickly. 

 

 

"I'm honesty surprised you haven't pulled a camera out from somewhere," Waverly admits as they walk back to her house. Nicole chuckles, shrugging. 

"Please, Waverly. Meeting Dorothy is a second date kind of thing." 

"Dorothy?"

"My camera and I spend an awful lot of time together. It's only polite that she have a proper name. And, well, I'm a sucker for _The Golden Girls_." Nicole smiles, flashing her dimples.

Waverly busts out laughing, "And here I was, thinking you were cool."

Nicole scoffs,"I was wearing a sweater vest the first time you met me. And now I'm wearing a bow tie. I also own seventeen vintage cameras and watch old sitcoms on the weekends. How is that not screaming 'badass'?" They both laugh, and Nicole likes the way they sound together. 

"C'mon, the camera thing is pretty cool." Waverly tries to hang on to her stance, but the more Nicole talks, the more she realizes what a nerd Nicole is. And Waverly finds it absolutely adorable. 

"Yeah, well, my uncle gave me his Nikon in the 90's and used to show me techniques. I guess the love kind of just grew from there."

"Sounds like you guys were close."

"Yeah. Him and my aunt passed away when I was ten, so it's nice to have something that makes me feel close to them. I still use the camera strap they gave me." She seems to realize she's rambling and lets out a breath. "Wow. I'm sorry. This is probably not great first date talk. And I'm making a total fool of myself." Nicole jams her hands her hands into her pockets and looks at the ground. 

Waverly tugs on her arm, pulling her to a stop. "Hey," Waverly uses her height to her advantage (for once), and gets in Nicole's face to force eye contact. "I think that's really sweet. And believe me, this may be the best first date I've ever gone on." 

Nicole raises an eyebrow, but they start walking again. "If listening to a camera geek talk about her deceased relatives is the best first date you've had, I'd hate to see what kind of people you've been dating."

Waverly shrugs. "Mostly asshole frat boys when I was in college. So you're significantly better than any of them. Cuter too." Nicole blushes hard and Waverly smirks to herself. 

"You flatter me, Waverly Earp."

"Well, Nicole Haught, that's kind of the point, isn't it?" Waverly giggles, swinging their now intertwined hands between them. 

"You're adorable," Nicole says without really thinking about it. "I want to do this again."  

"Good. I want to meet Dorothy." Waverly says, deadly serious. 

"Not CJ though?"

"Is that another camera?"

"No. My dog."

"Oh my god! What kind of dog is it?"

"Little of this, little of that. I got her from a shelter when she was a puppy, but they're not really sure. If I had to guess, I'd say mostly lab and pitbull. Here," Nicole pauses, pulling out her phone. After a moment, she shows the screen to Waverly. "This is her." 

"Okay. That's it. That's the cutest thing I've ever seen," Waverly announces, throwing her arms up in defeat.

"Well, I guess you'll have to suffer through another date with me if you want to meet her." 

Waverly feigns disdain, sighing heavily. "If I must." She realizes they've been in front of her building for the last few minutes and says,"Oh, this is me." 

"Then I guess this is goodnight," Nicole says softly. She smiles shyly at Waverly, her dimples faint. 

"Well, I'm wondering," Waverly says. "If kissing you is an acceptable first date thing. You know, as consolation for not being able to meet your dog yet." 

Nicole acts like she's thinking about it and catches Waverly off guard by pulling her in and pressing her lips against her. Waverly yelps in surprise, but it melts into Nicole's mouth as their lips move against each other. Waverly's hands feel strong shoulders as she moves her hands to Nicole's neck, and  _damn. Can I just invite her in now?_ Nicole's hands find themselves on Waverly's hips, pulling the smaller woman against her. 

They're both flushed and breathless when the kiss finally breaks. Nicole presses a kiss to one of Waverly's cheeks, then her temple. When she's near Waverly's ear, she whispers, "Text me, okay?" 

Then she turns and walks away, leaving Waverly stuttering a response on the sidewalk. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

_The next time she finds herself in a viewfinder, she's a bit older. Nine years old, and she's going to her aunt and uncle's cabin in Purgatory to visit._

_Right away, her uncle shows her a new camera- A Nikon D1. Nicole's breath catches at the sight of it._

_"Can I see it?" Nicole asks, hesitant. Her uncle grins, passing it over to her._

_"Why don't you give it a go?" He suggests. She nods, and he starts going over the basic controls with her. Nicole tries her best to pay attention, but really, she's amazed by how calm she feels with the machine in her hands. After a brief lesson, he takes her out back and lets her have at it. She takes pictures of anything that catches her eye. Her and her uncle lie in the grass and frame clouds that look like hunchback men and tigers and all of the things taking up space in Nicole's imagination. Then, later in the day, her aunt gets home and hugs her like it's been years. She squeezes Nicole so tight it makes the bruises on her side sting, but it's worth it. She fishes around in the closet and finds an old leather strap off of a bag. She fastens it to the sides of the camera and slips it over Nicole's neck._

_"How's that feel?" she asks, smiling at her as she adjusts the camera on her front. Nicole's hands wrap around the grips, staring up at the both of them._

_"Perfect." Nicole grins at them, fidgeting with the power switch. Her uncle kneels down and places his hands on her shoulders._

_"Nicole," he says. "I want you to have it."_

_Before she has a chance to protest- Nicole always has been a stubborn kid- her aunt says, "Nicky, your birthday is coming up. And we know it's not easy at home." Nicole panics for a moment, thinking they know about the bruises. But her aunt continues with words Nicole isn't really listening to. All she really adds is,"Maybe it'll make things a little easier."_

_"H-How's the camera gonna help with that?" Nicole asks._

_"Well, Nicky," her uncle says. "When you're upset or scared or sad, you can use the viewfinder to frame what you want to see. If you're surrounded by bad stuff, and there's only one good thing you can see, focus on it and take a picture. And if you can't find anything good, you can play with the buttons. Like you were just doing.."_

_"What if I d-don't h-have it with me?" Nicole stumbles. Her aunt reaches for her hands, and Nicole's grip loosens to let the camera fall against her body "If you don't have a viewfinder. . ." she moves Nicole's hands to make a rectangle with her thumbs and index fingers. "make one. Use this as your frame."_

_Nicole moves the box so that her aunt and uncle are inside of it. "Like this?" Her uncle kisses the top of her head. "Yeah, Nicky, just like that."_

 

* * * * *

 

**_Waverly Earp [9:49AM]: Hey. I have a lecture in 10 minutes, so I'm sorry if I don't respond for a while. But I was wondering if you'd wanna go out again. Say Friday? 6?_ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:24AM]: You might still be in class, but yes, totally. I'd love to see you again. I can pick you up then?_ **

Nicole taps her pen on her laptop, leg bouncing beneath her desk. Her boss, Randy Nedley, knocks on the open door of her office and steps inside.

"Haught." 

She immediately stops her movements, sitting up a bit straighter. "Yessir?"

"You got the edits done for the Brenner article?"

"Yessir. Finished them last night. I put them on your desk this morning."

"Good. Check your email; I sent you a draft from, uh, damn it— his name slipped my mind. But it shouldn't take you long. In fact, you can probably just use a few photos from your camera roll." He gestures toward the camera sitting on her desk. 

"On it, sir."

He nods at her and starts to walk away, only to turn on his heel and say, "Oh, and Haught? You're training a new junior on Monday."  _Fucking hell. Not again_ _._ He seems to notice her discomfort, because after a moment, he adds,"But, uh, I'm not anticipating any problems. I know last time didn't. . . go well. I can send you their information, if it puts you at ease."

"Th-Thank you, sir." Nicole lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. He hesitates for a moment, before patting her shoulder and walking out of the office. She opens the folder with all of her photos on her laptop and starts looking through them after skimming the article. Her phone buzzes. 

**_Waverly Earp [11:30]: Nope. That doesn't work._ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:31]: ???_ **

**_Waverly Earp [11:31]: You picked me up last time. I'm taking you out this time, Haught._ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:32]: You sound like a hitman._ **

**_Waverly Earp [11:33]: You know what I meant! Text me your address later?_ **

**_Nicole Haught [11:35]: Yep. I gotta finish this up— Then I'm on it._ **

**_Waverly Earp [11:36]: See you Friday ;)_ **

****

* * * * *

 

Nicole is just finishing getting dressed when she hears her phone go off. Moments later, there's a knock on her door. Immediately, CJ is out of her bed, ready to come after any intruders. Nicole decides against the tie and throws it onto a chair in the dining room. 

"Hey," she greets when she opens the door. "Just give me one sec; I gotta grab my wallet." 

"O-Okay." Waverly nods, looking at her a bit strangely. Nicole returns a second later and gives Waverly a bright smile. 

"You alright, Waverly? You look a little flushed."

"I'm f-fine. Yup. All good." She loops her arm through Nicole's, as if to prove her point, and starts walking. 

 

 

 

"Waverly. You've been giving me weird looks since salad. Are you good? Did I do something?" Nicole's brow is furrowed in an adorably confused way, and Waverly's convinced she could melt. 

Waverly throws her hands up in surrender. "Jesus, Nicole. Yes!"

The redhead frowns, eyebrows creasing further. 

"Fucking suspenders? Holy hell, you aren't allowed to look  _that_ good on a second date."

Nicole blushes deeply even as a smirk falls on her lips. "Why's that?"

"Because it makes me want to ignore all  _my_ date rules." Waverly glares at her.

Nicole tugs her bottom lip between her teeth and cocks her head to the side. "You know, Earp? I've never had someone give me a compliment so angrily before."

"Yeah?" Waverly snarks. "Get used to it!"

Nicole takes a bite of her pasta and points her fork at Waverly. "You're cute. And, for the record, I'm glad you like the suspenders. I was worried they'd be too geeky."

"Oh," Waverly laughs. "Believe me; they are. But you have this hot nerd vibe that is really just  _unfair._ "

"Stop. I do not." Nicole looks down shyly, picking at her food. Waverly reaches for Nicole's other hand, still on the table, and taps her fingers on it. 

She grins at Nicole. " _Hot_.  _Fucking. Nerd._ "

 

 

 

Conversation drifts back and forth between them, falling from their lips as easy as when they breathe. 

"So, you have two sisters?" Nicole asks. 

"Yeah. Both older. Wynonna and I really close. My other sister, Willa, kinda cut herself off from my entire family. She's not really cool with, well . . ." Waverly gestures between her and Nicole. "This. And she thought my family was demented for supporting me. Haven't seen her in a  _long_ time."

Nicole rubs circles onto the back of Waverly's hand with her thumb. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Wynonna and my mom are amazing, so I have what I need. How about you? Any siblings?" 

Nicole's thumb stops. "I have a sister, Hayley. We, uh, we don't talk much. I don't really speak to any of my family, honestly."

"That's gotta be hard." Waverly says. It's sympathetic, but the usual tone of pity Nicole hears isn't there. 

"I'm used to it." Nicole shrugs. 

Waverly looks around for the waiter. "You wanna get out of here? I thought maybe we could wander around for a while." 

"Y-Yeah. That sounds great."

 

 

 

Waverly picks at the hem of her dress as they reach Nicole's doorstep. "So. . . Where do you stand on  _your_ rules?"

Nicole grins, flushing slightly. "Well, if you'd like to, I was about to ask you inside to meet my dog. Why do you ask?"

Waverly takes a bold step forward, wrapping her fingers around Nicole's suspenders. "Because." she tugs at the black straps. "I think mine might need to change." 

"Ah, I see." Nicole smirks, opening the door and guiding Waverly inside. "Well, who am I to argue with that?"

They're inside, laughing between heated kisses, when something nudges Waverly's side. She almost ignores it; she's too busy with Nicole's lips. But it happens again, this time against her hand. Waverly pulls back and Nicole groans, sighing heavily. 

"Damn it, Calamity. Way to kill the mood." She huffs at the dog. "Some wing woman you are."

Waverly grips Nicole's chin, melting her pout. "Aw, poor baby." Nicole huffs again, frowning at Waverly. Her eyebrows lift all of a sudden, and she kisses Waverly quickly. 

"Don't. Move." Nicole searches the living room until her eyes land on a soccer ball near the couch. She kicks it toward the kitchen and CJ leaves Waverly's side, running after it. Nicole rushes back to Waverly, grabbing her face and kissing her as she pulls her into the bedroom. 

She presses Waverly against the door and it clicks shut, leaving them alone. "Finally," Nicole says, pressing her lips against Waverly's neck and trailing them up to her ear. 

"Mhm." Waverly grins, fingering the buttons on Nicole's shirt. "Now, why don't you introduce me to that queen sized bed?"

"It'd be my pleasure." 

* * * * *

 

Nicole wakes up with Waverly curled into her side, hair splayed out across Nicole's chest. The redhead exhales deeply. If she's honest, she's surprised Waverly stayed. CJ is curled up at the foot of the bed; they let her in when they finished last night, out of guilt. 

"Nicole? Are you awake?" Waverly yawns against Nicole. 

"I am." Nicole runs her fingers along Waverly's skin. 

"Good morning," Waverly mumbles, snuggling further into her. 

Nicole grins. " _Great_ morning." They lie there, enjoying each other for a few minutes. 

"Nicole?"

"Waverly?"

"What are these from?" Waverly's tracing the scars running along Nicole's abdomen, trailing her way down to ones along Nicole's legs. The redhead tenses; Waverly can feel the panic bubbling up. "No, okay, it's okay. Don't tell me, if you're not ready."

Nicole exhales, the tension easing off her. 

"Mmm," Waverly makes an agitated noise. "I gotta pee."

Nicole chuckles. "Poor thing." 

Waverly grumbles something under her breath as she tears herself off of Nicole and out of bed.

Nicole lays there, basking in the serenity of it all, before standing up, stretching, and pulling a hoodie over her bare torso. She heads into the living room with Calamity on her heels, and she slips on a pair of sneakers to let her out on the leash. It's sprinkling out, but she leaves her hood down and lets the water droplets mist her face.

Waverly is standing in the kitchen with her arms crossed, pouting, when Nicole comes inside. 

"Oh no. What'd I do?" Nicole unclips Calamity Jane's leash and the dog curls up on the rug. 

Waverly's pout becomes more dramatic. "You didn't tell me we were getting up. I wanted more cuddles." Nicole smiles softly at her melodrama, and makes her way over to Waverly. 

"Aw, I'm sorry. C'mere." Nicole opens her arms and Waverly wraps around her like a koala bear. Nicole sighs, relaxing. Apparently, not relaxed enough. 

"Holy cow, Nicole. Why are you so tense?" Waverly pushes on her shoulders; they feel like rocks. 

Nicole shrugs. "I dunno. I'm stressed out." 

Waverly's concerned look is soon replaced by a sly smile. "I think I can help with that. . ." She tugs on Nicole's hair, kissing her. 

Nicole scoffs playfully, but kisses back nonetheless. "Damn, woman. Don't you want breakfast?" 

"Yeah, she's right here." Waverly winks, gesturing to Nicole. The redhead rolls her eyes, but her face matches her hair. 

"Never say that again," Nicole groans.

Waverly giggles. "Don't pretend it's not working. Now, c'mon. Let me _relax_ you." 

And, well, Nicole would be a fool to say no to that. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, y'all! So here's chapter three. This is an interesting place to be writing from for me, for a couple of reasons. I haven't written multi-chapter anything in a long while, because I have commitment issues. And recently, my one shots have all been set with Wayhaught in a relationship. 
> 
> But, honestly, I'm happy to be back into something that takes a little longer to write. I'm in kind of a weird spot right now, and this is the only thing that feels normal. 
> 
> So please, bear with me and my total impatience (what is slow burn?) Because we're in chapter three and they're practically in love already.

_Nicole has never known a nice kind of constant. There are the fights and the bullies that work like clockwork; the arguing and punches that don't really seem to stop._

_Yes, the heartache and the hurt are always hovering close by. But the good things? Well, those don't come often._

_The Nikon becomes a median of sorts, because it's there when she needs it, but the circumstances in which she needs it under are ones no one should ever be in, especially a little kid._

_It's there, hanging around her neck when she says goodbye to her aunt and uncle. Later, she'll find out that it's the last time she'll ever see them. When her father tells her the news, it's there. When she has to go dress shopping for the funeral— Nicole's never liked dresses. When she sits in the front row at their memorials._

_One thing is constant: the camera, resting against her chest, right next to her broken heart._

 

* * * * *

 

It's nearly three o' clock in the afternoon, and Waverly Earp is sitting on Nicole's kitchen counter, eating microwaved pancakes that are drowning in syrup. And she's wearing Nicole's shirt. 

Nicole leans against the fridge, watching her. Her phone chimes with an email, and she grabs it off the counter. Her face goes dark and Waverly sets down her plate. 

"You okay, Nicole? Is something wrong?" Waverly slides off the counter, padding over to Nicole. 

Nicole shakes her head in a dismissive way. "I'm training a new photojournalist tomorrow. I've been working there the longest out of all the people in my position, so it's one of the things I gotta do."

"Okay. . . that face doesn't seem like you're just bummed about an assignment, though." Waverly tilts her head to the side.

Nicole scratches the back of her neck. "Yeah. . . I, uh, it hasn't gone well in the past." Her eyes are glued to the floor. 

Waverly reaches for her hand. "Don't feel like you have to tell me. But I'd be glad to listen." 

"I should be over it by now, honestly." Nicole sighs, letting her shoulders sag. "Unfortunately, I'm not. Sometime, I'll tell you; just not today." 

"Hey, it's okay." Waverly wraps her arms around her waist, pressing her face into Nicole's neck. "I'll be here when you're ready."

"You mean, you want to keep doing this?" Nicole asks. 

Waverly pulls back to look at her. "Why wouldn't I? Do you  _not_ want to keep doing this?" 

Nicole shakes her head quickly, taking a moment to think about how to respond. "No. No, I do. I just kinda figured you wouldn't. People don't usually stick around that long."

"Well, Nicole Haught." Waverly kisses under her ear, before whispering, "Get it through your head that  _I like you._ "

Nicole kisses her, grinning against her lips. "I like you too, Waverly Earp."

  

* * * * *

 

Waverly is driving to work early Monday morning, even though she doesn't have any classes until later in the day. Her phone rings, and she answers it through the system in her car.

"Hello?"  

_"Hey, Wave."_

Waverly smiles. "Hey, you."

_"How are you?"_

"Better, now that you called."

_"That was smooth."_  There's a series of loud thumps on Nicole's line and Waverly can barely hear her.

"What's that noise?" Waverly asks. "Are you okay?"

_"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. It's just the subway, I'm getting off right now."_

"Wait. Don't you have a car?"

Nicole laughs. _"Yeah."_

"So why are you on the subway?" Waverly shakes her head, even though Nicole can't see her. 

She can picture the shrug Nicole would be giving; Waverly's starting to think it's her signature defense move. _"Why not? Driving by myself is boring."_

Waverly sighs. "You're crazy." 

_"I've been called worse."_ Nicole's laugh is strained, almost like it's just a breath. There's a moment of silence that pierces the air. _"Anyway, uh, what does your schedule look like for today?"_

"Uh, I only have two lectures today— at one forty-five and three-fifteen."

_"Would you be interested in grabbing an early lunch with me later?"_

"I can't; Wynonna and I are getting lunch before my first class. . ."

_"Oh. That's cool."_

"But. . ." Waverly drags out the 'u'. "Breakfast isn't off the table. We could some coffee before you have work?" 

_"That sounds great. I know this little hole-in-the-wall place we can go."_

"Can you text me the address?" 

_"On it. See you in a bit— say like a half an hour?"_

 "Perfect! See you then." 

 

 

Nicole sits at a table in  _Gardner's Garden,_ bouncing her knee under the table and not-drinking a coffee jacked up with creamers. She spins the command dial on her camera rhythmically. When the door chimes and Waverly comes in, Nicole tries to stop her fidgeting. (It doesn't work.)

"I'm sorry," Waverly says as she shrugs off her jacket. "I turned on the wrong street because, apparently, I don't know how to listen to my GPS. And then I couldn't find a spot." 

Nicole smiles slyly at her. "Another perk of public transportation: you don't have to look for parking spots." 

Waverly looks at her strangely for a moment, but shakes her head and looks around the cafe. "I've heard about this place; I think my sister knows the owner."

"It's one of my favorites." Nicole takes a sip of her coffee. "Got a good vibe. You know?"

Waverly nods, smiling at her. 

After Waverly gets her own coffee, they order some pastries from the counter.

"I mean, Nicole, the sheer amount of sugar in that has got to be astronomically  _ridiculous_." 

Nicole shrugs, pulling her mug closer to her defensively. "Don't attackme over my coffee. Not everyone can drink it straight. Which is  _disgusting_ , by the way."

"If it's that bad to you, just don't drink it. C'mon. How did you even come about doing that?"

Nicole smiles. "When I was a kid, I used to always want to try my aunt's coffee. She finally let me, one day, and I pretty much spit it back out on her because it was so bitter. Later, my uncle showed me how he drinks it. With all the creamer and sugar. He couldn't stand the bitterness either, but he said he thought it made him seem like more of an adult if he drank it. I guess I just kind of adopted that."

Waverly reaches for her hand. "That's really adorable." She then playfully slaps Nicole's arm, realizing something. "Damn it. Now I can't make fun of you for it because I'll feel bad. Why do you have to be so cute?"

Nicole's ears go red, and she picks at her danish. 

"So, not that I'm not glad you're here, but why aren't you at work? Isn't this the time you normally go in?" Waverly has enough sense to know that Nicole's not good with compliments, so she diverts. 

"Uh, yeah, normally. My Monday hours are weird. I don't go in until noon, and then I don't leave until like eight." 

"Mmm." Waverly nods, sipping her coffee. "Oh— How are you feeling about the new person you have to train today?" 

"I, um— fine." Nicole clears her throat. "It should be okay." 

"Well, if you need anything, call me. I know you said you get off late, but I'm still around if you need me." 

Nicole shakes her head, "I can't ask you to wait up for me."

"You're not _asking_. I'm _offering_. Who knows, maybe only seeing you once won't be enough for me today." 

"Thank you. I'll let you know how it goes." Nicole glances at her watch. "What time do you have lunch with Wynonna?" 

"Eleven-thirty." 

"Where at?"

"This little place near the campus. Why?"

Nicole grins at her, a glint in her eye. "You, Waverly Earp, are going to ride the subway."

 

 

 "Well," Nicole says, gesturing to the subway station, swarmed with people. "This is it."

"Why am I nervous?" Waverly looks around. 

Nicole chuckles. "It's kinda scary the first time. Especially in a place like Purgatory; big, loud, and fast-moving. But it's cool." 

"Alright, if you say so."

 "C'mon, I want to show you something." Nicole starts moving through the people. 

"Wait! Won't we miss the train?" Waverly tugs on Nicole's arm. 

Nicole shakes her head. "No. We've got at least eleven minutes." 

"Oh." Waverly trails her hand down Nicole's arm until their fingers lace together. "Is this okay?"

Nicole smiles at her, squeezing her hand, before pulling her through a group of people. Waverly can hear music echoing through the tunnel, and it gets louder until Waverly spots an old man with a saxophone. His eyes are closed and he looks so in his element, Waverly has to stop for a second. His  _soul_ is in the music.

She turns to Nicole, who's got her eyes closed as she falls into the smooth sounds. "W-Wow." Is all Waverly can manage to say, not entirely sure which person has rendered her speechless.

Nicole's eyes open. "I know." 

Waverly starts to say something, but then Nicole's hand isn't in hers anymore. Before she has a chance to ask, Nicole is lifting her camera to her face and snapping a photo of the saxophonist. Then, she turns the lens to Waverly and the shutter releases. 

Nicole gives her that dopey grin again. "To commemorate your first time in the subway." Nicole looks down at the screen, adding, "You look lovely, by the way."

"Thank you," Waverly says, but they're both blushing.

Nicole throws an arm over Waverly's shoulder. "Let's go, Wave. We got a train to catch."

 

"You made it, Earp." Nicole smiles at her as they come up from the subway platform. "Well, almost. . . we still have to walk like two blocks." 

Waverly shakes her head. "It was definitely interesting. But I have a hard time believing sheer boredom is why you do that every day."

Nicole shrugs. "Yeah, well. Oh, hold on." She reaches for her camera and takes a picture. Waverly assumes she was trying to change the subject, so she doesn't push it. Nicole looks up to find Waverly watching her, and a blush creeps across her face. 

"W-What?"

"Nothing." Waverly meets her eyes. "You're just really beautiful." 

Nicole's blush darkens and she takes a step toward Waverly. "Can I kiss you?"

Waverly looks around like she's thinking about it. "Yes, but you don't have to ask."

Then Nicole is kissing her. They're standing on the sidewalk, arms wrapped around each other, kissing. Waverly's arms are wrapped around Nicole's neck, and Nicole's are on her hips. 

Someone behind Waverly shouts, "Yass! Let's go lesbians!" and they both burst out laughing. Nicole pulls back, grinning at the girl walking by. 

"Damn straight!" Nicole calls back, before whispering to Waverly, "Or not."

Waverly rolls her eyes, but she couldn't be happier. 

They walk holding hands for a few more minutes until they reach the place. 

"Well, M'lady, here we are." Nicole gestures dramatically, speaking in an Old English accent. "Enjoy lunch with your sister." 

Waverly squeezes her hand. "Can't you join us?" 

"Unfortunately, I can't. As much as I'd really like to not do this thing today, I do like my job." Nicole sighs. "And I don't want to impose." 

Waverly huffs. "Nicole, honestly. You just wasted a chunk of your morning riding the subway to a place to didn't need to go to, just so that I could see what it's like and not be alone. You—" 

"I didn't waste anything. I  _wanted_ to do that," Nicole protests. 

"My point is that you're very polite and like, scarily nice. I don't think you could ever impose, much less with me." 

Nicole shrugs. "Have a good day, Waverly." 

Waverly looks at her for a moment. "Please, Nicole. Call me later _._ " 

Nicole fights with herself for a minute; Waverly can see it in her eyes. But then she nods, and says, "I will." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. In the next chapter, we get a little piece of Nicole's backstory. I'm not gonna lie: the way I've planned Nicole's backstory is sad, sensitive, and possibly triggering. But I'm excited about exploring a different version of Nicole while still maintaining her character. So thank you for reading, and being patient with me. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated (if you feel I deserve them.) 
> 
> Y'all are wonderful and I love you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, chapter 4. You finally get a bit of Nicole's backstory in this, and a glimpse at where she stands with her family.

_"Nicole!" Her father storms into the room, holding a piece of paper all to familiar to Nicole. Her hands freeze on the camera buttons. "What the hell is this? A D-plus? "_

_"Dad, I'm sorry. I just can't with history. My—"_

_"Enough with the excuses! This is unacceptable." He moves toward her, fists clenches and Nicole scrambles to the other side of her desk chair._

_"Please, no. No more."_

_He snarls. "Should've thought about it before you failed a test."_

_Nicole rips the camera from around her neck and shoves it under her bed while he's busy taking his belt off._

_As long as he doesn't hurt the camera._

_But he's never bothered with her material things. Inanimate objects can't scream and cry._

_Nicole supposes it's not as satisfying for his belt to hit anything that doesn't have fear ripping through their body._

 

* * * * *

 

Waverly has barely walked into the restaurant when Wynonna smirks at her and says, "You got laid, didn't you?"

"I hate you." Waverly moans as slumps into her seat.

"Nah, you don't." Wynonna pushes a water across the table to Waverly, who ignores it when her phone chimes. She grins like an idiot as she texts a reply back to Nicole. 

Wynonna raises her eyebrows. "Clearly you don't hate someone else either." 

"Shut up," Waverly whines, pouting. 

Wynonna leans forward. "Seriously, Waves, who's got you this happy?"

Waverly sighs, but the smile returns to her face. "Her name's Nicole."

"I see."

"We've only gone on a few dates, but I  _really_ like her."

"So you banged her?" Wynonna asks again. 

"Jesus, Wyn, yes. I got laid. Happy?"

Wynonna's smirk turns to a look of disgust, a spark of playfulness in her eyes. "No. I don't wanna know who my baby sister's screwing." As if she didn't just ask. 

Waverly rolls her eyes. "You're impossible."

"You love me."

"Yeah. I do." Waverly sighs, taking a sip of her drink.

"So tell me about your new lady." Wynonna eats a chip from the basket the waiter brought. 

"She's not my lady. Yet. But anyway, she's a photojournalist for  _The Purgatory Print_. She has this adorable dog named after a wild west frontierswoman. Her hair is bright red and she's got these soft, brown, puppy eyes. And she seems like she'd be a badass. But really, she's this sweater vest-wearing,  _Golden Girls_  loving, adorable camera dork." Waverly smiles into her drink. 

"Damn, Wave. Only three dates? And you're already whipped."

Waverly takes a long sip of her water. "I'd argue with you, but. . . She's just different, you know? I mean, that's cliche, but I just— I don't know."

"Well, when this Nicole does become your girl, I want to meet her." Wynonna places her hand over Waverly's, who smiles at her older sister. "She sounds pretty awesome. And, you know, we gotta have the obligatory, older sister talk."

"Okay."

Wynonna's eyes practically pop out of her head. "Just like that? I practically had to stalk your boyfriends in the past to see what assholes they were."

Waverly shrugs. "I think I'm going to her place later; I'm gonna ask her to be my girlfriend."

"Good. I'm still gonna scare the shit out of her, though." Wynonna chuckles, smiling at Waverly. 

Waverly shakes her head at her. "I'd expect nothing less. Just, don't scare her away, okay?"

"Baby girl." Wynonna squeezes her hand. "She'd be a damn fool to run." 

Waverly smiles back at her sister. "Thanks, Wynonna." 

"Of course, kid. I love your lame ass." 

"And I love your drunk ass." 

Wynonna grins. "So tell me more about this Nicole. I'm assuming she's the redhead I saw you standing outside with."

 

* * * * *

 

**_Nicole Haught [8:59PM]: hey_ **

**_Waverly Earp [9:02PM]: Hey. I'm gonna call you._ **

Nicole's phone goes off, playing the  _Star Wars_ theme song. "Hello?" 

_"Hey, Nicole."_

"Hi." Nicole sits down on the floor and puts her phone on speaker. CJ lies down and puts her head in Nicole's lap. 

_"How are you?"_

"I- I'm okay." Nicole's trying to convince herself as much as Waverly. 

_"Then I guess you won't mind if I come over."_

Nicole squeezes her eyes shut. "Waverly, I'm fine. Don't waste your time on me." 

_"Nicole. I'll be there in five."_

"Okay." Nicole sighs. They hang up, and Nicole just collapses into Calamity, hugging the dog and heaving in heavy breaths. 

There's a knock on her door a few minutes later, and through the door, Waverly says, "It's me." 

"Door's open," Nicole croaks. She doesn't even have the energy to try and pull herself together. Waverly walks in to find her sitting on the floor with her head resting against the front of the couch. The brunette leaves her shoes, coat and a bag she packed by the door. 

"Hey." Waverly sits down across from her, petting CJ. 

Nicole gives a smile. A close-lipped, halfhearted one, like when you don't know what else to do, and puts her hand up in an attempt at a wave. Waverly scoots across the rug to sit next to her, close enough that their shoulders touch. 

"If you don't want to talk, we don't have to. Why don't you tell me what you need."

Nicole shrugs. "I don't know, but I owe you an explanation." 

Waverly reaches for her hand. "You don't owe me anything." 

"But I—"

"No, you don't. Only tell me if you're ready." 

Nicole rubs at her eyes. "I  _want_ to. I. . . it's just. . . it's hard." Her voice cracks. "I'm scared."

"Hey, it's okay." Waverly runs her fingers along Nicole's jawline, turning Nicole's head toward her. "It's okay if you're scared. But, Nic, you have to know, what ever it is, I got you. I know we haven't known each other long, but I like you. A  _lot_. I want this." 

Nicole's eyes are glassy. "R-Really?"

"Really." Waverly smiles at her. 

Nicole scratches the back of her neck. "So. . . are you saying you'd. . ."

"Yeah?" Waverly prompts, her voice gentle. 

"You'd be my girlfriend?" Nicole looks at her, brown eyes wide and puppy-like.

"Mhm, if that's what you want." 

"I do," Nicole reassures, her cheeks flushing. "Want you to be my girlfriend, I mean." 

Waverly giggles, kissing Nicole softly. "Good. I want you to be my girlfriend too." 

Nicole wraps her arms around Waverly, hugging her tightly. Waverly pulls back to look at Nicole.

"And, hey, I'll tell you what. You can tell me tomorrow, if you're ready. But why don't we just get some sleep for now?" 

Nicole tilts her head to the side. "Do you mean sleep or  _'sleep'_?" 

Waverly laughs, trailing her fingers up Nicole's shoulder. "That is _entirely_ up to you, my dear."

Nicole kisses her. _Hard_. 

 

* * * * * 

 

When Waverly wakes up the next morning, she's cold and by herself in the bed. She rubs at her eyes, climbing out from beneath the covers and slipping on Nicole's shirt. 

The brunette finds Nicole sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over her laptop and bouncing her knee under the table. Waverly watches her, leaning against the wall. 

"Good morning." Waverly walks across the room, moving into the kitchen to get some coffee from the pot on the counter. 

Nicole tears her eyes away from the screen, her gaze landing on Waverly. "Huh? Oh, good morning. Did you sleep okay?" 

Waverly sips her coffee. "Waking would have been better if you'd been next to me. But why are you up so goddamn early? You don't have work for like three hours."

"Sorry." Nicole flushes, returning to her computer. "Couldn't sleep."

"You could've woken me up." Waverly sits down at the table. 

Nicole shrugs. "I didn't want to disturb you." 

"What are you doing?" Waverly turns her head to glance at Nicole's laptop. 

"Editing." 

Waverly gets up and goes back into the kitchen, looking through a couple cabinets. "You hungry?" 

Nicole shrugs. 

Waverly huffs in annoyance at Nicole's shortness. "Is something wrong?" 

"Not more than usual." 

"Geez, Nicole," Waverly sighs, throwing her hands up. "What is your prob—" 

"A-About a year after I started working for the Print, I'd become the top photojournalist in my position; you know, entry-level type employees. So, they hired a new guy, and because I was the best, they asked me to train him. Usually, they would've had Nedley do it, but he was out of town and it was gonna be all hands on deck for an even the following week. So I'm kind of mentoring this guy, showing him the ropes, and it's going well. He was funny and seemed nice, chill. And then, when we were working late one night, he tried to make a 'move' on me. Grabbed my ass and said he was gonna 'fuck me straight' or some bullshit. They fired him, but I still just get freaked out sometimes. The guy today was totally professional and nice, but I still found myself on the floor of my office after he left, hyperventilating and frozen in place."

Nicole runs a hand through her hair and it flops into her face. Tears drip down her cheeks and she squeezes her hands together, trying to stop them from shaking. 

"Nicole." Waverly puts her hands on either side of Nicole's face, brushing short red locks behind her ears. "Hey, look at me." 

Her eyes are softer than Waverly's ever seen them, and more tears pool in the corners. "S-Sorry. That was a-a lot."

Waverly shakes her head, wiping tears away. "No, no. Don't apologize; you did nothing wrong. I'm glad you told me. That's awful, and I'm so,  _so_ sorry that happened to you. Nobody deserves that." 

"I—" her voice cracks, and a sob falls from her lips. She claps her hand over her mouth, like she can't believe she made that noise. Waverly pulls her out of her chair, guiding Nicole to the couch. Waverly hugs Nicole tightly into her side, and the redhead buries her face in Waverly's neck. She's trying to suppress her crying; Waverly can feel it in the way she tries to stop her body from shaking.

"Hey, it's okay." Waverly runs her fingers through Nicole's hair. "Let it out, babe. It's okay." 

Nicole sits there, head resting on Waverly's collarbone, crying harder than she has in a long time. And she starts to think that maybe, just maybe, everything  _is_ okay.

 

* * * * * 

 

The afternoon finds Nicole with her head in Waverly's lap, watching old  _Friends_ episodes on the couch. Waverly, who doesn't have any classes today, convinced her to call in and take a 'personal day'. Nicole, who would rather die than take off work, found that she really didn't need much convincing. 

"How you doin'?" Waverly asks, stroking Nicole's cheek. Nicole laughs, leaning into her touch. 

"Better. A lot better." Nicole looks up at her.

Waverly kisses her forehead. "I'm glad. And thank you for telling me. I know it wasn't easy." 

"I've never really told anybody about any of that stuff. Thank you for being patient with me." 

"Of course. But I also want you to know that if you're ever uncomfortable with  _anything_ I do, tell me. Not just because of what happened to you either. Because that's how this needs to work."

Nicole leans up and kisses her. "I will. And same goes for me. I never want you, or anyone, to feel like I felt." 

"I'm glad we're on the same page." Waverly smiles, kissing her again. 

Nicole grins back at her. "Me too."

Waverly exhales, stretching her arms out above her. "So, my dear  _girlfriend_ , what would you like to do with the rest of your day off?" 

Nicole cocks her head to the side, her bottom lip catching between her teeth. "We could take CJ to the dog park. If you want to."

Having heard her name, Calamity pops up from her place on rug and pads over to them. She licks Nicole's face and the redhead squirms in Waverly's lap, sitting up and hiding in Waverly's shoulder. 

"I think that could be arranged."

CJ runs after the tennis ball as Waverly and Nicole wander along a path. 

"Let me make this clear: you look _so good._ But I'm just curious. Do you own anything besides oxfords and sweater-related clothing items?" 

Nicole tugs on the collar of her button-down an adjusts it under her cable knit, flushing deeply. "I mean, I have a tuxedo."

Waverly stops dead in her tracks. "Nicole, you can't just tell me things like that nonchalantly."

"Why's that?" Nicole smirks. 

"Because now you're gonna need to show me." 

"I'll give you a fashion show anytime, baby." Nicole winks, before her nose crinkles. "Oh, fuck, I'm sorry. The name just slipped." 

Waverly pulls her in by the front of her sweater. "I like it," she says against Nicole's lips. 

Nicole giggles. She honest to god giggles. "I like saying it." They stay like that for a moment, until Calamity Jane nudges her face between them, dropping the tennis ball at their feet. Waverly picks it up this time, throwing it back out for her. 

Waverly watches the dog bound after it. "My sister wants to meet you. I guess this is kind of the equivalent of meeting my parents. I mean, my mom's still around. But we really only see her at Christmas. And I'm rambling. . ."

"Wow." 

"I mean, only if you're ready. I know we just officially started dating last night, so I get if it's too soon. I just thought I—"

Nicole stops her. "No, I would love to meet her. I guess it's just something I don't really think about; meeting the parents and older siblings." 

"What do you mean? Wait, no, don't feel obligated to answer that."

Nicole puffs out a breath. "It is what it is. My parents. . . aren't. . . around. And my sister and I don't really talk. And I'm also sorry that I can't seem to talk about anything without it turning into a story from my broken home." She throws CJ's ball again.

"Stop apologizing."

"I'm sor—" Nicole stops, clearing her throat. "Okay." 

"If anything, I get it. My dad died and my mom left when I was a kid. She came back later, but at that point it was kind of strange. My Aunt Gus and Uncle Curtis kind of raised me and Wynonna, and then he died a few years ago. I told you about my other sister too. So, you know? We're both a little damaged, Haught." 

"Well, Waverly Earp, you're the most beautiful broken I've ever seen." 

"Who's the smooth one now?" Waverly nudges her shoulder. "But, Nicole Haught, I was going to tell you the same thing." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. 
> 
> The next chapter is gonna time jump a bit, because I'm impatient and want to keep the momentum going. So just keep that in mind (there's even more WayHaught cuteness, oblivious and overstepping Wynonna, Jeremy and Robin, and WynDolls)
> 
> Thanks again, I hope you all enjoyed! I love y'all. :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! this time skips a bit, about a month or so. you get a little bit more of nicole's backstory, though only in fragments. this chapter is also a little shorter, but enjoy!

_Nicole snaps a photo of her sister leaning against an old oak tree. Hayley's senior night is coming up, and she needs pictures for graduation. Their parents didn't want to pay for a professional photographer when they could utilize Nicole and have her do it for free._

_Figures, her parents only care about her interests when it's beneficial to them._

_Hayley wanted to do them here, this little park near their house. She said a lot of important things happened there when she was a kid._ _Nicole has never bothered to ask what those things are._

_Nicole snaps another picture, and her mind goes elsewhere. She thinks coming out is stupid. But she still finds herself here, the words foreign in the back of her mouth._

_"Nicole? Where'd you go?" Hayley's walking over, smoothing out her dress._

_Nicole flinches. "Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just. . . uh, thinking."_

_"What were you 'uh, thinking' about?"_

_The words are right there. Stuck to the roof of her mouth. I'm gay. "E-Exams."_

_Hayley squints at her. "You sure?"_

_Nicole nods._

_"Okay. . ." She starts to walk back toward the tree when Nicole calls out to her._

_"H-Hayley!" They're on the tip of her tongue, begging to fall from her lips. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay._

_Her sister looks back at her. "Yeah, Nicole?"_

_"The bench. It'd make a nice photo."_

_The words slip back down her throat, sinking into her stomach with the rest of her feelings._

 

* * * * *

 

Her and Waverly have been dating for almost a month, and somehow, Nicole has only just worked up the courage to meet Wynonna. 

"You almost ready?" Waverly asks as she watches Nicole pull at her bowtie in the mirror. 

"What if she hates me?" Nicole huffs, giving up on tying it. 

Waverly moves to help her. "It's ridiculous that someone as smart as you could think that would be a possibility." 

"But you're already way out of my league and what if—"

"Baby, baby. Stop. Frankly, _I_ couldn't be luckier. So, please, take a breath. It's gonna be fine."  Waverly places her hands on Nicole's shoulders and kisses her cheek, then the corner of her mouth. For the first time, Nicole fully registers Waverly's outfit. Knee-length blue dress, black heels and a black denim jacket over it.

Nicole relaxes under Waverly's touch. "Okay. You look _amazing_ , by the way."

"Thank you. You look pretty good too, Haught." Waverly winks. "But, to warn you, Wynonna doesn't know what boundaries are. If she pushes too far or hits too close, don't feel like you owe her anything." 

Nicole nods. "Um, okay. I think I'm ready. Let me grab my keys." 

"Ah, I see. This is one of those special occasions where you actually  _use_ your car." 

A smirk makes it's way across Nicole's face as she shoots Waverly a wink. "Well, only the best for you." 

"Cute." Waverly pulls on her suspenders. "But, you know? The subway's grown on me a bit." 

Nicole grins at her.

 

 

"Again, I warn you, Wynonna's lack of filter is kind of alarming. Her husband is coming too, so he should keep her a bit more in check. But, really, the only thing that tampers her down is her daughter. Also, that's a weird thing because Wynonna had Alice with Doc, who's a family friend, but now she's with Xavier, but Doc is cool with their relationship and Dolls is cool with Alice. But, yeah, uh, don't be nervous." 

"Babe, _you're_  freaking out now." Nicole squeezes her hand. 

Waverly takes a deep breath. "Right. Sorry. I just really want this to go well." 

"Hey." Nicole smiles at her, pulling her toward the door of the restaurant. "Don't apologize." 

They're there first, so Nicole and Waverly sit at a table set for four and wait. Nicole's nerves ease up a bit; she likes being early. 

A few minutes later, a woman with movie star hair who has little resemblance to Waverly, walks in with an oddly familiar looking guy. Nicole stands up to greet them, holding her hand out for Wynonna to shake. 

Wynonna stares at Nicole's outstretched arm like it's a tentacle, and Nicole panics for a moment until the brunette pulls her in for a hug. 

"So you're the girl Waverly won't shut up about!" Wynonna goes to hug her sister. Waverly, who flushes a bright red, slaps Wynonna's arm. 

"Lovely to meet you, Wynonna." Nicole smiles politely, before turning to Wynonna's husband. He seems to realize something at the same time she does. 

"Wait, Nicole?" 

"Dolls! Holy shit, is that you?" They slap hands and Xavier hugs her. "How've you been, man?"

"Great. You?"

"Never better." She glances at Waverly, who flashes a smile. 

Wynonna and Waverly turn to look at them. "So you two know each other?" 

Dolls grins, gripping Nicole's shoulder. "We went to high school together!" 

"No shit! You're the redhead standing next to Dolls in the graduation pictures?" 

Nicole nods. "That's me." 

Wynonna says as they all sit back down, "Hey, you're already off on a good note if you were friends with Dolls. 

Nicole's knee stops bouncing under the table. 

 

Wynonna's first ill-timed question comes halfway through appetizers.  

"So do you have any siblings?" Wynonna asks, and though it's completely innocent, Nicole tenses beside Waverly. 

"Yeah. A sister." Nicole's responses are terse and stiff. 

"What's her name?"

"Hayley." 

"Do you guys get along alright?"

"Not really. Had a falling out a few years ago." Nicole is all too interested in picking at her thumbnail.

Waverly shoots her sister a look.  _Wrong tree, Wynonna._

Nicole's leg starts up again; she wishes she had her camera. 

 

The second bad question doesn't make Nicole as uncomfortable, but it's inappropriate nonetheless. 

"Are you planning on staying with  _The Print_ forever? I can't imagine photojournalism makes you much money." 

" _Wynonna_ ," Waverly warns, but Nicole puts a hand on her thigh to wave her off. 

"No, it's okay. You're right. In a few years, after I save up a bit from my side business, I'm actually planning to go back to school. Figure I'll become a professor and teach at one of the universities." 

Wynonna seems satisfied with the answer. "It's good that you have a plan." 

Nicole nods in agreement. "So what do you do, Wynonna?" 

"I'm a cop. Dolls and I both are, actually." 

"Ah, figures. X has been shutting down high school parties since our sophomore year. He was like the _designated_ designated driver." Nicole has loosened up a bit, more than thankful to know Dolls and to have Waverly's hand in hers under the table. 

Wynonna looks over to Waverly and gives an approving nod. 

 

"What are you drinking?" Wynonna asks, passing her the alcohol menu. 

Nicole pushes it back. "I'm not. I don't drink." 

Wynonna can't even hide her eye roll.

 

They say third time's the charm, but Wynonna's never been a straight shooter. (And neither has Nicole.) It's only after the fifth or sixth over-personal question that Wynonna pushes too far. 

"So, what are your plans for the holidays?"

Nicole scratches the back of her head. "Uh, same as usual, probably. Me and my dog, CJ, binge-watching all of the best 80s sitcoms."

"You're not going to see any family?" Wynonna takes a sip of her drink.

"No." Nicole shifts. "No family here." 

"Wynonna." Waverly's voice has an edge that Wynonna's too curious to notice.

"What about your parents?" 

Nicole's fingers drum fast rhythms that match her heartbeat into her bouncing knee. "They aren't. . . around."

"Where are they?" 

"Wynonna, ease up." It's Dolls who warns this time. 

She turns to look at him, throwing her hands up. "What? I'm just making small talk. And Nicole over there is being all shady." 

"No she's not," Waverly defends, placing her hand over Nicole's. 

Nicole's heart throws itself against her ribcage.

"If she's not being shady then why won't she answer the question? Something to hide, Haught?"

"My mom is in prison and my father is dead." Nicole slips her hand out of Waverly's and stands up abruptly. "Excuse me; I need to use the restroom." She jams her fists into her pockets and walks away. 

"Nicole." Waverly calls after her to receive no answer. She shakes her head at her sister, standing up and grabbing her jacket and purse. "Well, Wynonna? Are you  _satisfied_ with that answer?" 

Waverly finds Nicole outside with her hands on her knees, heaving labored breaths in and out.  "Nic, I'm so sorry about Wyn— Oh, baby." 

Nicole has stumbled to the ground, sitting on the curb with her head in her hands. Her breathing has deteriorated to gasps; she wheezes as she searches for air. "Go ba—" She splutters. "I— 'M fine. G-Go. . . back in. . . inside."

"No, baby." Waverly falls in beside her, sitting down next to her on the sidewalk. "Hey, hey. Breathe."  

"Tr-Trying." 

"Shh, don't talk. Just focus on breathing, okay? Breathe in and count to three, and then breathe back out for three more. Okay? Breathe." Waverly rubs circles into her back. "Can I put my arm around you?" 

Nicole nods, leaning into Waverly and taking in ragged breaths. Nicole can feel her pulse in her head, and Waverly can feel it hammering against Nicole's frame as she hugs her close.

"Let me take you home, okay? I'll just text Wynonna." 

"I'm. . . sorry," Nicole manages, running a hand through her hair. Waverly shakes her head, putting her phone in her pocket. 

"No, darling. Wynonna was way out of line; I shouldn't have let it get that far. _I'm_ sorry."

"Let's go," Waverly gently guides Nicole off the curb, starting back toward Nicole's car. 

Nicole's hands quiver as she tries to unlock it and Waverly takes the keys from her. "Let me drive?" 

Nicole ducks her head and climbs into the passenger seat. Waverly's fingers find Nicole's as soon as they're on the road, and she sets their intertwined hands on the center console. Nicole —whose breathing has evened out, if only a little— digs her fingernails into her own thigh. 

"Your place?"  

"Huh? Oh, you can just drop me off and take your car."

Waverly squeezes her hand. "I'm not leaving you alone." Before Nicole even has a chance to protest, Waverly adds, "Before you object, because I know you will— I _want_ to be with you and make sure you're okay."

"O-Okay." Nicole sighs. 

 

Nicole watches Waverly prance around her kitchen, pouring food into CJ's bowl and getting water for her. She feels like she's suffocating again; her hands find her throat, scratching at her collar where her suddenly too-tight bowtie is. She swears she hears Waverly say something, but she needs to get this  _damn_ tie off. The suspenders are long gone, hanging off her jeans at the waist. 

Nicole continues yanking at the tie; it feels like she's choking. Her breathing returns to a choppy state, heavy on her chest. Waverly's at her side in an instant, easily untying the fabric and removing it from her neck. Nicole's fingers have seemingly lost all dexterity as she fumbles with the buttons on her shirt. Waverly undoes each of them, leaving scars on her torso exposed as the button-down rests loosely on her shoulders. 

Waverly grips Nicole's chin, running her fingers along the sharp angle of her jawline. "C'mere." 

Nicole wraps her arms around Waverly's waist, trying to bury her face into the shorter woman's shoulder. . Waverly pulls back, holding Nicole's face in her hands and leaning their foreheads together. They stay like that until CJ noses her way between them to press her body against their legs. 

At some point, they make their way into Nicole's bedroom. Waverly's head rests on Nicole's shoulder and her hand lies on Nicole's bare stomach. 

"Do you want to talk about any of it?" Waverly asks, long after Nicole has calmed down. 

Nicole shrugs. "What I said about my parents is true." 

"And your sister?" Waverly draws hearts on Nicole's torso, tracing her scars. 

"Seeing you and Wynonna? That's something else, man. Hayley and I have never had that."

"So what happened?"

"I don't know. I mean, we never got along very well. She was my dad's favorite." Nicole places her hand on Waverly's fingers over a thick scar that runs along her abs on the left side. "Clearly. . . C-Cleary, I wasn't."

Waverly leans down, pressing her lips to the same mark. She makes her way up Nicole's front, planting a soft kiss to her chin before doing the same to her lips. They curl into each other, and Nicole's revels at the gentleness of the figure next to her.

"You know?"

Nicole's half asleep. "Hmm?" 

"I'm proud of you. For talking, at least a little, to me, and for dealing with Wynonna tonight," Waverly murmurs against her neck. "I'm proud of you." 

 _She's proud of me._ A smile splits Nicole's cheeks so wide there's no way it could be fake. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, yes, the plot thickens. (as it usually does in a story with a plot) but anywho, i hope y'all enjoyed. the next chapter should be coming to you soon— sit tight. thank you for reading; comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, should you feel so obliged. for now, i leave you with:
> 
> is there more than she lets on between her and her sister?
> 
> why is nicole's mom in jail?
> 
> how did her father die?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wynonna makes amends. Waverly and Nicole are cute.

_"Nicole?" Her mother appears in the doorway, and Nicole turns quickly away. She's getting ready for a party, but this could very well put a wrench in her plans._

_"What do you need, Mom?" Nicole covers her mouth with her hand to cover up the busted lip._

_She walks around the bed to her, trying to catch a glimpse of her daughter. "Honey, why are you hiding your face."_

_"I'm not." Nicole shifts again, but it's too late._

_Her mother gasps, cupping her face in her hands. She's got a black eye and her lip is puffy. "Nicole, who did this?"_

_Nicole shrugs. "It's nothing, Mom; it's nothing. I got in a fight with this junior after basketball. We were playing a pickup game and there was a disagreement over a call."_

_"Are you okay?"_

_Nicole manages a smile. "You should see him."_

_She says something that Nicole doesn't catch._

_"Hmm?"_

_"Nothing, honey." She brushes Nicole's long hair back behind her shoulders. "Just be careful, okay? I'm worried about you."_

_"I'm fine, Mom. I gotta finish getting ready; X is picking me up in ten."_

_Her mom kisses the top of her head. "Okay, baby. I love you. So much."_

_"I love you too, Mom." Nicole's eyebrows furrow. "Are **you** okay?" _

_"You, know, Nicole? You've become far too good at lying for someone who isn't even eighteen yet."_

_Nicole's eyes go wide. "What? I, uh. . . Um—"_

_She gives Nicole a smile. "Tell Xavier thank you for me."_

_"Uh, for what?"_

_"Have fun at the party, Nicole. Be safe."_

* * * * * 

 

Nicole is a quarter of the way through a frozen pizza and halfway through an episode of  _Will and Grace_ when there's a knock on her door. Calamity Jane is off the couch in an instant, staring intently at the door. Nicole sighs, making her way over. 

Wynonna Earp is the last person Nicole expects to see is standing outside her apartment with her hands behind her back. 

"Haught." Wynonna offers a mischievous smile. "Let's have a drink."

Nicole, confused as ever, shakes her head. "I told you—"

Wynonna waves her hand. "Yeah, yeah. I know. Not alcohol. That's why I brought this." Wynonna pulls out her other hand, revealing a bottle of Pepsi. "So what do you say?" 

Nicole opens the door all the way, reaching for CJ as she steps aside to let Wynonna in. 

"Whoa, sweet dog!" Wynonna kneels down to pet Calamity. "Wave's shown me pictures of her. Calamity Jane, right?" 

"Yeah." Nicole shuts the door. "Why are you here, Wynonna?"

Wynonna clears her throat, standing up and wandering into Nicole's kitchen. "Got any glasses around here, Haught?" 

"Top cabinet to the left of the fridge." Nicole sighs. 

"Perfect!" The redhead watches Wynonna walk around her kitchen like she lives there. "Here." She hands Nicole a cup. 

"Thanks."

Wynonna wanders over to her bookshelf, poking at a Canon camera. "Got a fuck ton of these, huh?" 

"Yep. I collect them."

Wynonna pulls one off the shelf and turns around to look at Nicole. "Give me a story. What is it? Where'd you get this one? " 

"Um, a Leica M3 DS from 1956. Got it in 2008 at this little antique mall in Albuquerque with my sister." 

"This one?" Wynonna whirls around with a different camera. 

"Zeiss Ikon Voigtländer Vitessa 500 AE Electronic." Nicole chuckles a little when Wynonna's eyes go wide. "Mouthful, right? I almost had to fight this old dude for it at a photography convention in 2010."

"Nice." Wynonna puts it back, grabbing another. "And this one?" 

"Oh. N-Nikon D1. My, uh, my aunt and uncle gave it. . . before they died." 

Wynonna turns it in her hands, "What happened?" 

"C-Car crash." Nicole takes the camera back from her, running her thumb along the embossed  _'HAUGHT'_ on the leather strap. She sets it back on the shelf. "Why are you here, Wynonna?"

Wynonna sighs. "Look, Haught, what I said was shitty and I was out of line. Like way out of line." 

"Mhm." Nicole sips her drink, waiting for Wynonna to continue. 

"Waverly's the best. And she's been through a lot of shit. I'm just really protective of her, you know? "

"She's had her fair share of asshole exes." 

Wynonna snorts. " _Believe me,_ I know. But it sounds like you haven't had the easiest time either. So my bad if I dug up some bad memories. I guess. . . what I'm trying to say. . . is that I—" Her voice drops to a low mutter. "I'm sorry." 

"What was that?" A smile threatens to take over Nicole's face. 

Nicole receives a glare from Wynonna. " _I'm._   _Sorry_."

"It's okay, Earp." 

"You know, Haught? Maybe you aren't so bad." 

"Thanks. . . I think." Nicole finishes her soda and Wynonna does the same. 

"I should probably get home. It's about time for my daughter to have her bedtime story. And, well, Dolls has never been good at the tongue twisters of Dr. Suess." 

Nicole puffs out a breath, shaking her head. "I still can't believe X has a kid. Well, I mean, helping raise a kid. Uh, Waverly told me about Doc and Alice and. . ." She trails off, blushing furiously. 

Wynonna laughs. "Honestly, sometimes I can't believe  _I_ have a kid. And yeah, it's definitely an unusual situation. But Dolls is amazing with Alice, Doc and Dolls are learning to get along. We're happy." She pauses for a moment. " And, for the record, Haught? That's what you've been doing for Waverly: making her happy."

Nicole flushes, smiling down at her feet. "She makes me happy too. Really happy." 

Wynonna watches her for a moment, contemplating. "Thanksgiving. Come home with Waverly. Spend it with us."

"Really? I couldn't impose like that." 

Wynonna waves her hand. "Please. I already talked to Waverly; she wanted to invite you anyway. Seriously, our Mama will  _love_ you. And what is it they say? No one should be alone for the holidays? Some cheesy shit like that. Calamity can even come."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Nicole smiles.

Wynonna claps Nicole's shoulder. "Great! Then I guess I'll be on my way." She starts toward the door, setting her glass on Nicole's counter. "Bye, Haught." 

Nicole catches her wrist before she opens the door. " _Oh, The Places You'll Go._ My mom used to read that to me all the time."

"It's Alice's favorite." Wynonna offers her a smile before she disappears down the hallway.

 

* * * * *

 

 "So my sister invited you to Thanksgiving and/or Christmas?" Waverly asks as she takes a bite of food. 

Nicole sets down her box of Kung Pao chicken, looking at the girl across from her on the couch. "Yeah. But I totally get if that's not cool with you and you don't want me to come and—"

Waverly cuts her off. "Nicole! I  _want_ you to come. Honestly, I don't know that I handle it by myself." 

"What do you mean?" Nicole's head tilts to the side in that puppy-like manner that makes Waverly's breath catch in her throat. 

"Things are still kind of weird, I guess. Mama wasn't around when I was growing up, and it's still sort of strange to go there and have holidays with her now as an adult when she wasn't there then."

"Why'd she leave? If you don't mind me asking." 

"Same reason Wynonna and I wanted to. Ward."

"That's your dad, right?" 

Waverly shakes her head. "I thought he was. He's Willa and Wynonna's father. My dad's name was Julien. . ."

It clicks into place for Nicole as she fills in the blanks. "Oh. So Ward didn't take well to that, I'd imagine?"

Waverly laughs dryly. "He did not. He was never going to be 'father of the year', but he especially hated me."

"I don't know how anyone could hate you." 

Waverly smiles at her. "You're sweet." 

Nicole shrugs. "I'm honest." 

"It's weird to think about how big the city is. I grew up in a suburb of Purgatory—that's where my mom lives now— and yet I haven't been home in forever." 

"You were born here?"

"Yep. I've never actually left the Ghost River Triangle."

Nicole nearly spits out her drink. " _Never_?" 

Waverly sighs. "Never."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I wanted to leave as soon as I graduated high school, but then Uncle Curtis died and I got offered a full-ride at Purgatory University. Then got a job there when I finished college. I just never found the right time to leave. . . have you traveled much?" 

"Oh, all over." Nicole waves her hands. "I've been everywhere and nowhere, and I still want to see more. I was born in Texas. We moved to a small town in Canada when I was eight. Some, uh, other stuff happened when I was graduating high school, and I went back to the US for college. NYU. New York was amazing, but I missed Canada, to be honest. So I ended up here." 

"Yeah, how did you end up Purgatory of all places? Why not go back to where you grew up?" 

"I could never go back there after what happened. And I wanted to be in a big city." 

"What's the ocean like?" Waverly jumps to a new subject, and Nicole is thankful for it. She's really not in the mood to get into all of the shit from her childhood. Quite frankly, she's not sure she'll ever be in the mood for it. 

"Cold, huge. . . _so huge_ _._ It really puts in perspective just how small we are in the grand scheme of things. We are to the earth what a single star is to a galaxy."

"Well, I happen to find this star. . ." Waverly nudges her. "Very,  _very_ beautiful." 

Nicole flushes. "We're very poetic, aren't we?"

"That is _all_ you, babe."

"As you continue to sound poetic."

Waverly snorts. "Coming from the one who made an analogy comparing people to stars."

Nicole's blush deepens, her ears burning red. "I. . . uh. . . okay, fair point."

Waverly chuckles, pulling Nicole's legs into her lap. "I win." 

"So competitive," Nicole teases.

"So _cocky_ ," Waverly retorts, poking her in the leg.  _Damn. Her calves are like steel._

She rolls her eyes, sticking her foot in Waverly's face.

Waverly throws her head back and attempts to slap Nicole's foot away. "Ugh, you're so— wait, what is on your socks?  _Oh my god,_ Nic. Tell me those aren't little Golden Snitches. Tell me." 

Nicole's face matches her hair. "They are." 

"Oh my god! You are  _such a fucking nerd_ _!_  " Waverly laughs for a long time while Nicole's legs retreat back to let her knees press against her chest. Waverly looks over at her girlfriend's bashful expression. "Aww, baby, it's adorable. I  _love_ it."

As if to prove her point, Waverly shifts, climbing on top of Nicole. Waverly's arms bracket Nicole's head and Waverly straddles the redhead's waist. Nicole's hands fall against Waverly's hips almost automatically. Waverly presses her lips hard against Nicole's and lets her fingers tangle in red hair. 

Nicole's lips are on her neck and suddenly Nicole has flipped them over so Waverly is lying under her on the couch. "Nerd, huh?" She nips Waverly's jaw, eliciting a yelp from the brunette. 

"Nic. Nic, wait." Nicole jerks back and Waverly grabs Nicole's arms to keep her from totally moving. 

"No, I'm sorry. What'd I do? I'm sorry." There's panic in Nicole's eyes, but it's clouded by confusion when Waverly grins up at her. 

She brushes a strand of Nicole's hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "Hey, my name may not be Luna. . . but I sure know how to Lovegood." Waverly wiggles her eyebrows playfully and Nicole groans, flopping her head into Waverly's shoulder to hide her giggles. 

A muffled  _"I hate you"_ is heard from Nicole, who shakes her head into Waverly's collar. 

Waverly sighs contently, brushing her fingers through Nicole's hair. "That's not what it sounded like earlier." 

"Whatever." Nicole huffs. 

 Waverly kisses the pout off her face. 

 

* * * * *

  

 Nicole lays on her stomach with her arms tucked under a pillow, the sheets halfway draped across her legs. They moved to Nicole's bed when the small surface area of the couch became too much of a hindrance. (Though, Waverly would bet money that they could find a way to make it work if the situation was dire enough.)

Waverly's fingers find the scars once again; this time the ones on Nicole's back. While it's mostly small ones, scattered along her shoulder blades, there's a thick, short line cut diagonally across the small of her back. Waverly's chest feels hollow looking at it. 

Nicole, who's nearly asleep, starts talking without much regard for what she's saying. "Got that one when I was sixteen." 

Waverly waits for her to go on, rubbing Nicole's back.

"Mom and Hayley were gone— dress shopping for senior prom, I think. I got home late from basketball because this cheerleader and I got a little. . .  _extra practice_ in the locker room when everyone had left."

Waverly supposes Nicole's lack of sleep the last few nights (only partially due to Waverly's. . . antics), is what's causing this lack of filter. 

"So my dad was making dinner when I got home, chopping vegetables or something. Thought I did a good job covering it up, but, uh, I missed some lipstick she left on my neck. He saw it when I went to hang up my jacket, totally flipped out. I think he only meant to hit me, but he was still holding that knife. Got me right there." Nicole laughs that hazy, sleep-filled chuckle. "Holy fuck, I just realized that he _literally_ stabbed me in the back."

Nicole snuggles into Waverly, laughing again. Waverly, meanwhile, has tears pooling in her eyes. "God, Nic. . . I- I can't even imagine."

Waverly wraps her arms around Nicole tightly, waiting for her to say something. Nicole makes a noise, and for a moment, Waverly thinks she might be crying. Waverly pulls back a little to see her face. 

Nicole is snoring softly against Waverly's shoulder.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to time skip to a bit before Thanksgiving and will feature our other favorite WE Gays: Robin and Jeremy! Also sorry not sorry Nic and Wave have a bit of a fight.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wayhaught has a fight. . .

_Even as a kid, Nicole is no stranger to panic attacks. But it's not until ninth grade that they find her at school. Her history teacher, Mr. Lange, makes a show of embarrassing Nicole after she fails the test. He even goes so far as to target her photography, saying that she "needs to get her brain out of the camera and into a book." That, combined with his views on her "wasting" her life with art, proves to be a bit much for Nicole._

  _Xavier, thank god, is in her class, and stepped in when things got bad. Ever the loyal friend, he simply grabs her shoulder and guides her out of the classroom while everyone ducks their heads._

_"Cole, you good?" Dolls watches her slide down the lockers and sink to the floor. She practically melts into the linoleum. Nicole doesn't respond. Instead, she lets her head fall between her knees and tries to even out her breathing. "Shit, dude. Just breathe, okay? Do you need me to get someone?"_

_Nicole shakes her head. "N-No. No, 'M fine. Go back to class, X. I don't. . . I don't want you to get in tr-trouble."_

_Dolls chuckles, letting his own back hit the lockers as he sits down next to her. "Really, N? That's the best you could come up with?"_

_Nicole attempts to stutter a response, but her breathing has deteriorated to shaky, shallow gasps._

_"I don't give a shit about getting in trouble." (Read as: I do give a shit about you.)_

_Somehow, that's all she needs to hear._

 

* * * * * 

 

There's a series of knocks on Waverly's apartment door, followed by Nicole's voice. "I'm here, Wave!" 

Waverly slips her shirt over her head. "Yeah, come in!" 

Nicole appears in the doorway of her bedroom a minute later. Her camera, as always, hangs around her neck. 

She's wearing ripped up jeans, a black button-down covered in sunflowers, and _oh god._ She's got them on. "Holy shit, I'm still  _not_ over your glasses. Like I don't think I'll ever get over them."  

Nicole blushes, pushing the bridge up further on her nose with her index finger. "I couldn't get my contacts in for the life of me this morning."

"Well, I can't complain about that." 

"I mean, I like how they look, but it gets annoying when the lenses are bumping against the viewfinder when I'm trying to take pictures."

"Always about the camera." Waverly chuckles. "Really, though? Doc Martens? I know you're gay, but are you  _that_ gay?" Waverly turns to pull something out of her closet and Nicole catches her wrist, kissing her squarely on the mouth. 

Nicole smirks. "Does that answer your question?" 

"I  _think_ so." Waverly giggles, running her hands down Nicole's shoulders. "Maybe we should do that again, just to be sure." 

Nicole leans in, pulling back at the last second. "Maybe you should finish getting ready so we aren't late to lunch. I'm excited to meet your friends," Nicole whispers. 

Waverly rolls her eyes and kisses her anyway. 

 

 

"Waverly!" Robin waves her over to a table in the back of the restaurant. 

"Robin! Jeremy! It's so good to see you guys," Waverly greets, hugging them both. She steps back, placing her hand on Nicole's back. "This is Nicole. A.K.A., my very awesome girlfriend." 

Nicole's ears go red as she holds her hand out to Robin. "It's lovely to meet you." She reaches her hand out to Jeremy, who ignores it and opens his arms for a hug. He's oddly strong, given Nicole is several inches taller than him. 

"I'm a hugger," Jeremy admits as he offers her a smile. Nicole pats him on the back. 

"We've heard so much about you," Robin says, sipping his coffee. 

"All good things," Jeremy assures, shooting a look to Waverly. "Like,  _really_ good things. Probably _waaaay_ too—" Waverly kicks him in the shin.

"Jeremy! She's got it." 

He clears his throat. "Right. Sorry." Robin laughs, patting his shoulder.

"So what are your plans for Thanksgiving?" Robin asks. 

"We're leaving next week. Nicole's coming to spend it with my family." Waverly squeezes Nicole's hand. 

"Oh, you'll be right by us then. Robin and I are going to see his dad." Jeremy turns to Nicole. "Waverly and Robin grew up in the same neighborhood."

 

"So, how long have you guys been together?" Nicole asks as she bounces her knee under the table. 

"Uh, six years. Waverly introduced us, actually. She and Robin have known each other since high school, and she introduced me to him when we met in our junior year of college." Jeremy looks over to Robin. "Been together ever since." 

Robin grins at him. "It was the extensive knowledge of  _Doctor Strange_ comics that made me fall for him." 

 "Of course. You'd be a fool not to." Nicole chuckles before looking over at Jeremy. "So Doctor Strange, huh?"

Jeremy nods excitedly. "Really anything superheroes. I mean, comics are sort of my thing. . . along with mad scientist experiments. But mostly comic books." 

"Me too, man.  _The Outsiders_ was my shit in high school." 

Jeremy lets out an intrigued  _'ooh'_. "Which begs the eternal question: DC or Marvel?"

"DC for the characters; Marvel for the plot lines." 

"Exactly! This is what I've been saying!" 

"Right. I mean the thing about villains in . . ." Nicole and Jeremy continue on and Waverly looks over to Robin. 

"We're so lucky," Robin says the same time as Waverly thinks it. 

"We are, aren't we?" Waverly looks over at Nicole, a smile gracing her lips. Sunlight finds its way through the window, lighting up her hair. The fiery red is almost as bright as her smile. 

Waverly Earp realizes how easy it would be to fall in love with Nicole Haught. 

 

* * * * * 

 

"What was that deal you made with Jeremy when we were leaving?" Waverly asks her as they walk back to her place. 

Nicole smiles down at her feet. "He said he would let me read some of his comics— this super rare, limited-edition series that is literally impossible to find— if I would teach how to throw a proper punch. I guess my stories about getting in fights as a teenager really sparked his inner warrior." 

"I'm glad you guys got along well. I also find it very endearing that a nerd like you could hold her own pretty well against bullies in high school." 

Nicole huffs. "Believe it or not, I was actually pretty popular in high school. Varsity point guard will do that for you."

Waverly chuckles. "I don't know much about basketball, but aren't you a bit tall to be a point guard?"

Nicole laughs, but the look on her face is distant. She uses the hand that isn't in Waverly's to finger her camera strap.

Waverly watches her fidget, pulling her arm a little. "What's going on in that head of yours?" 

"What did you mean when you said that I'm always focused on my camera earlier?"

The brunette's eyebrows crease as she tries to recall. "What?" 

"You said 'always about the camera' when I was talking about my glasses." 

Waverly shrugs. "Well, it meant that you're always focused on your camera. _'I used this bag so I could put my other lenses in the pockets.'_ _'I don't wear my glasses because it annoys me when I'm taking pictures.'_ I—"

"That's not fair; it's my job," Nicole protests. 

"And I'm not trying to come after you for it. It was just an offhanded comment I made, okay?" 

Nicole sighs. "But you meant something by it."

"Look." Waverly puts her hand up. "All I'm saying is that sometimes you're so focused on capturing the moment in a photo that I think you forget to _live_ it." 

"No, I don't. I'm perfectly within the moment."

"Why are you getting so upset?"

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are, Nicole. It was just something I said." 

"Then why does it feel like there's something behind it? Like it wasn't _'just something you said'_?" 

"Because it's like all you care about is that damn camera, Nicole. I get that photography is your passion, and I'm so happy that you have that. But you're more fixated on the camera than you are on the art. And yeah, it's frustrating. I get they say 'a picture is worth a thousand words', Nic, but it's not sometimes. You actually have to say the words and  _talk to me_ _._ When you're nervous, you go to the camera. When you're mad, you go to the camera. When you're happy, you go to the camera. You always go to the camera—" 

"Because it makes me feel safe! Because when my aunt and uncle gave me my first one and for once, I felt like I could actually be okay! Because every time my dad hit me or kicked me or  _cut_  me, this made it hurt a little less. So yeah, Waverly, I'm a bit attached." 

Waverly searches for words. "Nicole, I—" 

"I'll see you later, Waverly." Nicole has started to walk in the other direction when she turns back to add, "Or, maybe I won't. Since I might not notice you if I'm so  _fixated_ on my camera." 

Not for the first time, Nicole leaves Waverly speechless on the sidewalk in front of her apartment building. Only this time, Waverly doesn't get a kiss goodnight. 

 

* * * * * 

 

"Wynonna, I fucked up." Waverly holds her phone to her ear, looking at herself in the mirror. 

The older Earp laughs.  _"Baby girl, that's my line."_

"I'm serious, Wyn." Her eyes are puffy, but she'd rather not admit that she was crying. 

_"Alright, kid, what's up?"_

"Nicole and I had a fight." 

Wynonna makes a groaning noise.  _"Shit, dude. I'm too sore to kick her ass today."_

"No, it's my fault."

_"What'd you do?"_

"She got kind of defensive when we were on our way home from lunch with Robin and Jeremy—"

 _"How was that, by the way?"_ Wynonna interrupts. 

"Good. Robin told me he's finally gonna propose." 

_"It's about time! They've been together forever."_

"Yeah. . ." 

_"Oh, right. What happened with Haughtstuff?"_

"Who now?" 

_"You know, Haught. Lots of puns can be made with her last name."_

Waverly sighs. "Anyway, she got really defensive because I made a stupid comment about how everything is about her camera. Basically, I've been a total ass today."

_"So why are you talking to me?"_

"What do you mean?" 

_"Go. Talk. To. Her. Jesus, Wave, and I thought she was dense. Clearly, you like Nicole a whole lot. You're not going to let her get away that easy, are you?"_

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?" 

Wynonna laughs for a long moment.  _"I swear to God, Waverly, there are stars in that girl's eyes when she looks at you."_

"I have to go." Waverly's blushing so hard she can't even imagine how bad Wynonna would be teasing her. "I'm gonna go to her place." 

_"Damn right you are! Go get 'em, Wave."_

"Hey, Wynonna?" Waverly's tone softens. "Thank you." 

_"Of, course, baby girl. I love you."_

"I love you too." 

_"Alright, now fix it with your girl before I have to kick **your** ass."  _

 

 

 Waverly opens her door to leave, only to a disheveled redhead tapping her foot against the carpet.  

"Hi." Nicole scratches the back of her neck. Her hands are in the pockets of her jeans and her sleeves have been rolled up. It looks like there are scratch marks on her arms. 

 Waverly stands up a little straighter. "Hey." 

"Can I. . ."

"Of course," Waverly says, stepping aside to let her through the doorway. 

"I overreacted earlier; I know. I just. . ." 

"No. It was my fault. I know that you've been through a lot, and it helps you. I just get frustrated—"

"You feel like I don't talk to you. And I'm sorry. I'm trying."

"I never want to pressure you into telling me something you don't want to." 

"But I do  _want_ to tell you. It's like I don't know how— I've _never_ talked about most of this stuff before. My exes were usually a bit more concerned with. . . other things. My parents are- well, _my parents_. Hayley and I are whatever we are. And I haven't had a good friend since X."

"That sounds like it's been really lonely."  

"I'm used to it." Nicole sits down on the couch. 

Waverly sits down beside her. "Well, get un-used to it. I'm not going anywhere, Nic. But I understand if you need some time before you're ready to tell me more." 

"I'm still sorry." Nicole looks up at her, eyes soft. 

"Don't be. I'm the one who's sorry." Waverly strokes her jaw, brushing her thumb along Nicole's cheekbone. 

Nicole puffs out a breath. "First fight, huh?"

"I wouldn't call that a fight." Waverly giggles. "More like a. . . misunderstanding? Where we both got upset?" 

"So a fight?" Nicole raises her eyebrows, a smile playing on her lips. 

"Pfft, whatever. It's a milestone, right?" 

"I guess." Nicole drums her fingers on her knee. "But one that I'd really like to not have again." 

"Same here." Waverly places her hand over Nicole's and leans in to kiss her cheek. Nicole turns, pressing her lips firmly against Waverly's. 

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay? With Thanksgiving? I know it's not an easy time for you." 

Nicole grins against her lips. "Baby, I'll be alright as long I'm with you."

"You're so cheesy," Waverly groans. Nicole smirks at her, saying, "You love it." 

Waverly can't argue; she's not sure she could _ever_ argue against loving any part of Nicole Haught. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wayhaught made up :D also the next chapter is going to be thanksgiving at the earp homestead. prepare yourselves for lots of fluff and a bit more of nicole's story. thank you for reading; i love y'all. also no one come for me on the dc/marvel debate. i said what i said.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thing? I did Thanksgiving instead of Christmas for the obligatory holiday chapter so. . .

 

  _Hayley Haught never tried to stop her Father when he went into a fit of rage. She always knew to go to her room, lest she have to feel the weight of his fists herself._

_But she was always there for the aftermath. Unless Hayley was gone for the night, Nicole would always find clean bandages and bags of ice and hydrogen peroxide sitting on her desk chair when she made her way back to her room. No matter the hour, the severity, or the collateral damage, she'd be there, in one way or another._

_This particular night finds Nicole's mother working a late shift at the hospital and Nicole walking in the house two minutes and thirty-seven seconds after curfew. And, well, nobody ever appreciates lateness. Especially not Henry Haught._

_Sparing details, Nicole is left in a heap on the kitchen floor. Blood flows freely from her arm, creating rivers between the grooves of the tile. Glass and plastic are scattered along the floor, the corpse of a camera is left lying by Nicole's Vans. Feet padding down the stairs sounds like shotgun blasts in Nicole's ears, and for a moment, she thinks it's him again._

_But then Minnie Mouse socks appear before her and God, she can't even hold in her cry of reprieve. Hayley helps Nicole off the floor and sets her upright at the table. Nicole's wound is cleaned and dressed before she so much as blinks— though she supposes when she closed her eyes it was for longer than a second._

_In a haze, she watches Hayley wordlessly sweep up the bits of the camera. She hesitates over the trash can, looking to Nicole for the go ahead._

_"I— I. . . bought th-this one m-myself." Nicole brushes her fingers over a scrap of metal embossed with the Minolta logo; she nods, but can't bring herself to watch Hayley dump it. Nicole's eyes burn as she bends down to retrieve the nylon strap off the floor. A sob escapes her lips when she drops it in the trash, and she forgoes all attempts to hold back the tears._

_Nicole Haught has never allowed her father to see her cry, but she never made any rules about her sister._

 

* * * * * 

 

"Nicole, are you ready?" Waverly calls as she walks into Nicole's apartment, which looks like a tornado went through it. There are clothes thrown over the back of the couch, shoes littering the floor and camera accessories all over the kitchen table. CJ sits patiently by the door, leash hanging off her collar. 

Nicole pokes her head out of the bedroom. "Yep. Give me two minutes." 

"Uh, you realize we're only going for a few days?" Waverly comes to stand in the doorway of the bedroom. 

"I know. I couldn't find a shirt that I wanted and I really want to make a good impression and should I bring extra socks in case I step in a puddle? What if I step in _two_ puddles?" 

A laugh escapes Waverly as she watches Nicole move about. "Babe, c'mon. I'm sure we can dry your socks if you happen to step in multiple puddles."

"Right. Yeah, okay. Let's go. I think I have everything." Nicole zips up her suitcase, pulling it off the bed. "Oh! Camera bag. I need my camera bag." 

Waverly kisses the corner of her mouth. "I'll get CJ. You grab that. Meet me at the car?" 

"You got it." Nicole smiles. 

 

 

"Nic? You seem a little tense." The Earp Homestead comes into view and Waverly glances over at her. 

Nicole attempts a smile. "Just a bit nervous." 

"Hey. They're gonna love you." 

"It's just been a while since I. . . well, the holidays were never all that cheerful at my house." 

Waverly squeezes her hand. "I know. And we don't have to go if you don't—"

"No.  _No._ I want to." Nicole sucks in a breath as they pull up the dirt drive of the Earp Homestead. "I'm just worried I won't make a good first impression with your mom and your aunt."

Waverly laughs, patting Nicole's knee. "Baby, the Earps don't know what a good first impression is; you'll be golden." She looks out at the frozen landscape. A thin blanket of snow covers the ground, and despite still being shrouded in the warmth of the car, Waverly pulls her coat tighter around herself. Finally, she says, "Are you ready?"

Nicole nods toward the porch. "Wynonna's right there, so I guess I am now." 

"Waves! Haughtstuff! You made it!" Wynonna throws her arms up, greeting them. "And CJ! The only one I really wanted to see." Wynonna goes to pet the dog when Nicole lets her out of the backseat. 

Waverly gets out of the car, kissing her sister's cheek. "Yeah, Wyn, we survived the whole thirty-minute ride." 

Wynonna opens her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by a voice behind her. "Well, for only thirty minutes, you sure don't make the trip out her much." Michelle Earp stands on the bottom step of the porch with her hands on her hips. 

Waverly flushes bright red as she goes to hug her. "Hi, Mama." 

"Hey, baby. Happy Thanksgiving." 

"Happy Thanksgiving," Waverly echoes before gesturing to Nicole. "Mama, this is my girlfriend, Nicole." 

"It's nice to meet you, ma'am." Nicole offers her hand to shake and a kind smile. 

Michelle waves her off, wrapping her arms around Nicole's shoulders. "It's nice to meet you too, Honey. I've heard a lot about you." 

Nicole tenses at first, but quickly hugs the shorter woman back.  _God, it's been years since I-_

The door opens and closes, revealing another woman.  "Is that Waverly?" 

Michelle releases Nicole, reaching to pet CJ as she turns toward the other woman. 

"Hi, Gus." Waverly hugs her tightly. 

"And who's this?" Gus' eyebrows lift when she notices Nicole. 

Nicole holds her hand out again. "I'm Nicole, Mrs. McCready." 

Gus shakes it firmly, smiling at her. "Gus is fine, Dear." 

"Why don't you get your bags and get settled in the house. Then you can give Nicole the grand tour before dinner." 

"I'll grab our stuff, Wave," Nicole says, walking around to the back of the car. "Can you take my camera bag, though? It's in the backseat." 

"Got it." 

"And I got Calamity!" Wynonna announces as she takes the leash from Nicole. Waverly rolls her eyes, following her sister up the porch steps. 

Nicole pulls both of their bags out of the car and closes the trunk.  _Cozy_ is Nicole's first thought when she makes it into the house. It's small, and it feels warm. The complete opposite of Nicole's childhood home. Her house was always so cold. And it was empty; there was too much space for four people. Everything echoed.

"Nic," Waverly calls her name. "Nicole. My room's upstairs. CJ can hang out down here." 

"Right. Sorry." Nicole snaps out of it, following Waverly up the stairs. Her room is exactly what Nicole would expect of a teenage Waverly: dorky, full of books, and very, very clean.

"No way." Nicole drops the suitcases by the bed and walks over to the dresser. There are a few photos tacked up on the mirror, giving glimpses of a kid Waverly. 

Waverly sighs, laughing slightly. "Oh geez, don't look at those." Nicole's already locked onto one. 

"Hermione Granger?" Nicole holds up the picture of Waverly in robes, a grin splitting her cheeks. "And _I'm_  a nerd?" 

Waverly scoffs. "Don't act so indignant. I'd bet money that you were Ginny Weasley for Halloween once." 

"Twice, actually." Nicole winks, carefully putting the photo back in its place. 

Waverly watches her study the rest of the pictures. Nicole seems in awe of it all. She wraps her arms around the redhead, smirking up at her. "You know, I think twelve-year-old me was secretly pulling for Ginny and Hermione to be more than just friends." 

Nicole chuckles and brushes a strand of hair behind Waverly's ear. "Mhm, weren't we all." She leans down, ghosting her lips over Waverly's. The brunette's breath hitches as she leans into Nicole. After a moment, Nicole pulls away and kisses Waverly's forehead. "Thank you for inviting me, baby," Nicole says, hugging her again. 

"Of course," Waverly says against her neck. "You doing okay?" 

Nicole hums, brushing her fingers through Waverly's hair. "Been a while since I had someone like that hug me."

"Good mom hugs are the best." 

"Yeah, well, good moms are the best," Nicole counters, pulling back to look at Waverly, who's staring up at her, "Let's head back down. I wanna see the rest of this place." 

 

 

"Haughtshot! This is my daughter, Alice." Wynonna looks down at the young girl wrapped around her leg. CJ nudges at them, looking for attention per usual. "And this is John Henry Holliday, aka Doc. Aka, her dad. And then obviously you know Dolls." Wynonna gestures to the two men. Doc is a relic-type guy, with an old-timey handlebar mustache. 

"Nice to meet you, Doc." Nicole shakes his hand. 

 "The pleasure is mine, Miss Haught," Doc drawls. 

"Good to see you, X." Nicole hugs him before leaning down to Alice. "Hey there, Alice. I'm Nicole." 

Alice takes a cautious step forward. "Are you and Auntie Waverly dating?"

"Yeah, we are." Nicole looks up at her girlfriend, who's talking to Doc and Dolls. "Which makes me pretty lucky, huh?" 

"Yeah! Auntie Waverly is my favorite! She lets me have ice cream!" 

"That does sound pretty awesome." Nicole agrees. 

Wynonna turns to her sister with an accusatory finger. "I have words for you about that later." 

Waverly throws her hands up, huffing at Alice. "Way to rat me out, Monkey." 

"I like your doggie." Alice is still focused on Nicole. "Your hair is so pretty." 

Nicole grins. "Why thank you, Alice. You have really pretty hair too." 

Wynonna chuckles, shaking her head at the two of them. "Alright, Alice, go wash your hands before dinner." 

"But, Mommy—" 

"Kid, let's go. You'll have plenty of time to stroke Red's ego later." Wynonna ushers her down the hall. 

Nicole stands and wraps an arm around Waverly as they make small talk with Doc and Dolls. None of them can hold in their laughter when they hear Wynonna groan after Alice asks, "What's an ego?"

 

 

"Wow, Mrs. Earp, if this is what normal dinners are like here, Thanksgiving is gonna be amazing." 

"Oh, Nicole, call me Michelle." She pats Nicole's cheek. "And you're too sweet." 

"So, Waverly tell us you're a photographer," Gus says, looking to Nicole. 

Nicole swallows her food, nodding. "Yes, ma'am. I'm a photojournalist."

"And you enjoy that?" Michelle asks. 

"Oh, yes, ma'am. I've loved photography since I was a little kid." Nicole feels CJ nudge between her and Alice, who 'accidentally' drops a piece of her chicken under the table. 

"Good. It's good to be doing what you love." 

"I'm thankful for it every day." Nicole smiles. 

Doc looks leans over to Waverly as Gus and Michelle continue to ask Nicole questions. "Sounds like you finally picked a good one," he winks, patting Waverly's shoulder. 

Waverly mouths  _'I know.'_

"Red!" Alice Michelle tugs on the sleeve of the woman sitting next to her. Nicole chuckles, turning her attention to Wynonna's daughter. 

"Alice," Wynonna laughs. "She has a name." 

Nicole looks over at Wynonna with a smile playing on her lips. "What's it matter, Earp? Not like you use it either." 

"Pfft, whatever, Haught-pants." 

"Red!" Alice tries again. 

"Yeah, Tiny?" Nicole smirks playfully. 

 Alice looks utterly disgusted. "Tiny?"

 "If you're gonna call me Red, I'm gonna call you Tiny. How about that?" 

Alice giggles, "I'm not tiny! I'm almost six!" 

"Whoa, six? That's pretty old, Tiny!" Nicole matches her excitement level. "What are you going to ask for?" 

Alice's face scrunches up as she thinks about it. "I don't know." 

"Well, why don't you think about it, and you can tell me later." Nicole holds her fist out and Alice bumps her smaller one against it. 

Nicole smiles at the girl for a moment before taking another bite of her food.  

Waverly nudges her with her shoulder, leaning in close to her. "How the hell were you worried about making a bad impression?" 

Nicole just flushes bright red. 

 

 

"Nicole, I'm serious, you're sleeping here." Waverly folds her arms across her chest and plants her feet further into the rug. 

Nicole shakes her head, gesturing around the room and then to the twin-sized bed. "Nope. Your room, your bed,  _you're_ sleeping there."  

"But you're a guest." 

"A guest who can sleep on the floor." 

Waverly huffs. "Fine. If you're sleeping on the floor, then I'm sleeping on the floor too." 

The bed does serve its purpose; Calamity Jane is curled up in the center of the comforter. They end up nose-to-nose on a pile of blankets on the floor.  It's dark in the room, but the lamp from the hallway leaves it just light enough for Nicole to make out Waverly's features. "Does this not make you feel like you're a teenager again?" Waverly asks. 

"Yeah, but most of my sleepovers were at Doll's house. I had friends in high school, but like, not  _good_ ones." 

"Ditto. My favorite sleepovers were with Wynonna. When I lived with my aunt and uncle, Wynonna used to come home for the night and we'd camp out on the living room floor." 

"That sounds really nice." 

"Some of my favorite memories." Waverly brushes her hand across Nicole's cheek. "What about you? You've gotta have at least one good memory with your sister, right?"  

Nicole stays silent for so long Waverly thinks she might be asleep. "When I was probably fifteen— No, no. Fourteen. 'Cause Hayley had just gotten her license. She picked me up after school— I didn't have basketball or work that day. I thought we were just going home, but she drove right past our neighborhood. Without a word, she drove to this little diner just outside of town. We went in and ordered food, ate in silence. It was weird at first, because Hayley has never been one for quiet. She learned to fill up empty spaces with words, and I was always thankful for that. But it was like she didn't need to, that day. In fact, she never said a word until we pulled in the driveway. She told me she loved me and that she was sorry about Dad.

"We never talked about it again. Hell, we hardly talked at all, but it was just nice to know that she was on my side."  

"That doesn't sound like the kind of person who would just leave you hanging after all these years." 

"Well, a lot of time has passed between then and now. And a lot of things have happened." Nicole sighs, rubbing at her eyes. "I'm sorry; I know that was vague." 

Waverly reaches for Nicole's hand, pressing her lips against it. "Don't apologize. Family baggage is heavy stuff, babe. And yes, the suspense is killing me here a little bit, but my curiosity can hold off." 

"But it's not fair—"

"Not fair to me?" Waverly finishes. "Nic, I don't care about fair. I care about  _you._ Okay?" 

"Okay," Nicole whispers. 

Waverly smiles. "Now c'mere, I want snuggles." Waverly burrows herself closer to Nicole, who relaxes into the smaller woman. 

"Wave?" 

"Mmm?" 

"I c-care about you too." 

"Good." Waverly giggles, kissing her again. "I always knew Hermione and Ginny would pull through eventually." 

 

 

"Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes!" Gus calls from the porch before disappearing back into the house. 

Waverly leans against the side of the barn, watching her girlfriend run around the yard with Alice, Wynonna, Doc, and CJ. Wynonna throws a football to Nicole, who fakes around Doc and hands it to Alice with Calamity on her heels. 

"She's something, huh?" Xavier folds his arms across his chest, following Waverly's gaze. 

The woman sighs. "You don't even know." Nicole throws her head back, laughing when Alice latches onto her leg while she's running. Her laugh might just be the best sound Waverly's ever heard. 

Dolls chuckles. "Yeah, I kinda do. I've known her since we were eight, remember? That girl was my best friend for a decade." 

"Right. Well, there's a lot I don't know about her." 

"Nicole had an awful childhood. And by awful, I mean  _awful_ ; worse than you could imagine, probably. If anyone has a right to be guarded, it's her." 

"I know." Waverly nods. "And I don't want to push her, but. . ." 

"Waverly, you realize you're the first person she's ever let in this far? Besides me, but I honestly think she would have avoided that if I had let her. Nicole's world crumbled before she even graduated high school, and I was there to watch it happen. Now, she's managed to piece it all back together. I was there to witness the fire, so it makes sense that she wants to catch me up on all the good stuff. But you? You came with the rain, and she  _still_ wants to share all those damaged parts of herself and her life with you." 

"What are you getting at here, Dolls? I didn't take you for the philosophical type."

"That for once, she has someone she doesn't think is gonna hurt her. She's _trusting_ you, Waverly." 

"How do I make sure I don't hurt her?" Waverly pulls her eyes away from Nicole and looks up at the man next to her. 

Xavier nods toward Nicole, who's making her way over to them. "You just gotta let her do this—tell you— on her terms. She's never been able to choose things out of want, only survival. Her wanting you? That's not survival, Waverly; that's love." 

"Wh-What?" Waverly stumbles over her words. "Surely, s-surely she can't. . ."

"Maybe not with a capital 'L'— Not yet. But I see it, in both of you. Deny it all you want, but I'm not blind." 

Waverly can't get anything to come out of her mouth. Xavier gives Nicole a wave, turning back to look at the brunette. "You know, once upon a time, Nic and I were like siblings. I'd like to think I could get my sister back, in time." 

"Dolls." Waverly regains herself. She pats his arm. "She missed you too." 

"What are you two talking about?" Nicole reaches them, looking back and forth between her girlfriend and her friend. Waverly wraps an arm around the taller woman's waist, resting her head against Nicole's shoulder. Waverly gives Dolls a look and he nods at her. 

"Your lack of football skills," Dolls says quickly. "I guess basketball really was a better choice for you." 

Nicole shoves his shoulder. "Fuck you, X. What sport did you play in high school? Baseball? Oh, wait, you were a _band_ kid." 

"Marching band was a notable extracurricular on college applications, thank you very much."

Nicole nods sarcastically while Waverly attempts to hold in her giggles beside her. "What was it you played? Trumpet?" 

"Flute, actually." Wynonna throws her arm over her husband's shoulder. "Isn't that right, babe?" 

Waverly Earp never thought she'd see Xavier Dolls flustered.  _Leave it to Wynonna._

"Anyway, it's dinner time." Wynonna turns on her heel to walk back to the house. "Let's eat, losers." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi so this is kind of not good but I like some parts of it. Also it might be a minute before I post again because my computer fucked up and everything that I had for the next chapter got deleted. (Given, I only had half of the chapter done. But it's still quite discouraging.)  
> Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading. Find me on tumblr @angelhaught and leave me prompts because I high key need a little break from this story.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! another time skip! cause I fucking can! This is set at their 6 month anniversary, which also happens to be around Valentine's Day for a time reference. I'm aware this story's timeline is a bit crazy, so thank you for bearing with me. 
> 
> **also: I'm very, very sorry I haven't updated in a month. I promise I'm not giving up on this story. The last few weeks have been rough, and to top it off, somehow, this chapter got deleted three times. Three. Times. So, having written this chapter four times, you'd think I would've been able to crank this out. However, I kept rewriting it completely different than the previous time. Again, I apologize, next chapter should be out in a week, if not sooner.

When Nicole gave Waverly the key for Christmas, it wasn't like she was asking her to move in. But it felt like something big.

Waverly never thought a piece of metal could make her feel so giddy. But here she is, sliding the key into the lock and opening the door and being greeted by Calamity Jane, all while grinning uncontrollably. "Hey, CJ!" She sets the flower's she was holding on the table and kneels down to pet the dog. "How you doin', huh?" It isn't until Waverly is at CJ's level that she sees one of her socks sticking out from underneath the couch. 

There's more of her things scattered around the apartment. A drawer in Nicole's dresser almost entirely occupied by Waverly's clothes. In the cup on the bathroom counter, there's a toothbrush with Waverly's name on it. (Yes, Waverly actually _ labeled  _ her toothbrush.) 

She sets the flowers she's holding down on the coffee table when something catches her eye. 

On the shelf beneath the TV in the living room, there's a framed photo of her and Nicole from Thanksgiving. It's taken from the worst angle possible (thanks, Alice) the lighting is bad and the quality came out all grainy, but Waverly absolutely adores it. She's got her lips pressed against Nicole's cheek and Nicole has the dopiest grin on her face. Waverly's heart thumps in her chest just looking at it and she thinks back to what Dolls said at Thanksgiving. 

_ Focus, Waverly.  _ She goes into Nicole's kitchen to get a vase and stops short when she notices something on the fridge. There's the photo of her dressed up as Hermione for Halloween— Nicole had asked if she could take the picture of Waverly when they went back for Christmas. But next to it, stuck to the refrigerator door with a Statue of Liberty magnet, is a photo of a grinning, redheaded girl, dressed up in wizard's robes. 

_ Maybe not with a capital 'L' yet. . . _

When she pulls herself away from the pictures, she writes out a note to Nicole and leaves it on the table with the flowers. Calamity has moved to lay in front of the door, either as a means of stopping Waverly from leaving or in preparation for when Nicole comes home. Waverly gives her a pat on the head and closes the door behind her. Even as she fumbles with the key in the lock, a smile splits her cheeks. 

* * * * * 

_ Nic,  _

_ I know flowers aren't really your thing, but I saw these yellow roses and they made me think of you. Bright and beautiful, like sunshine— like you. Happy six months, Baby.  _

_ Love, Waverly _

* * * * * 

 

“You really are quite the charmer, aren’t you?” Nicole asks as she steps aside to let Waverly into her apartment. 

Waverly laughs. “Only for you, my dear.” She looks at Nicole’s outfit— grey suit, yellow bowtie, brown wingtips. “You look great, by the way. I love the yellow.” 

Nicole’s face flushes and she pulls Waverly in by her hips. “I thought you would. And this blue is. . . _holy_ _shit._ You always look amazing, but I— _Wow._ ” Nicole cups Waverly’s face, kissing her. 

“Thanks, Baby.” Waverly kisses her cheek. 

“Are we stupid for celebrating a six-month anniversary? Because, honestly, I’m way too excited about this.” 

Waverly looks at her for a moment. “We said no gifts, so this is really just an excuse to dress up and go eat at a fancy restaurant. Besides, you’ve been working so much I feel like I barely see you.” 

Nicole chuckles. “Babe, you’ve spent nearly every night at my apartment this month.” 

“But you’re always gone in the morning. And while I appreciate the little sticky notes you’ve been leaving on my pillow, I like waking up  _ with _ you.” Waverly says quietly, suddenly too focused on adjusting Nicole’s pocket square. The redhead reaches for Waverly’s hand with both of her own. 

“I know. I’m sorry, Babe. Things have been really swamped at work since Nedley retired.” 

Waverly studies Nicole’s face for a moment. She looks way guiltier than she should. “Hey, no. It’s okay; I know you can’t help it. I just like seeing this beautiful face next to me in the morning. So c’mon, let’s just pretend we don’t have to work ever again and we can go have our fancy dinner and celebrate and be  _ that  _ couple. Okay?” 

A smile creeps across Nicole’s face and she nods, leaning forward to kiss Waverly.  “Okay.” 

 

* * * * * 

 

“That might be the best dinner I’ve ever had,” Nicole says, lacing their hands together as they walk out of the restaurant. 

Waverly nods, a smile stretching across her face. “I know. And the wine was. . . well, I mean, obviously you didn’t have any, but it was  _ really  _ good.” Waverly pauses for a moment. “You know, you’ve never told me why you don’t drink. I mean, not that you have to, but—” 

“Waverly, it’s okay, really.” Nicole gives her a soft smile, reassuring. “I don’t know. My dad was always hammered when I was a kid, and that’s usually when he’d. . . you know. . . And I remember reading something when I was in high school about how children of alcoholics are forty percent more likely to develop addictions.” Nicole looks over to Waverly, who’s gone silent. Hazel eyes meet brown ones, and Waverly squeezes Nicole’s hand to let her know that she’s listening. “I just. . . It never seemed worth it to me. Though, the promise of forgetting your problems for a while is pretty appealing.” 

“Yeah, well, you’re probably better off. Every time Wyn convinces me to go out drinking with her I end up with the  _ worst  _ hangovers. Have you ever had a hangover? Because they’re really not fun.” Waverly’s face scrunches like it hurts her head to think about. 

“I have not had a hangover,” Nicole says, laughing slightly. “I think I’ll stick to brain freezes from slushies. Those are the real drug if you ask me— especially the ones from 7/11.” 

Waverly snorts. “Okay, Jason Dean much?”

“Precisely. Just without the murder and psychopathic tendencies.” 

“I always thought he was kind of a likable antagonist.” Waverly frowns, eyebrows furrowing.    
“I’m going to ignore what you just said and instead choose to focus on how much I love that you made an 80s reference. Because you know how I feel about 80s movies.” 

“I know, Babe.” Waverly swings their hands between them; it’s almost childish the way their arms move. Nicole adores it. “You were born in the wrong decade.” 

“It’s a shame, really.” 

“No, it’s not. Because then I wouldn’t have met you.”

Nicole nods, giving her a soft smile. “That would kind of be the worst.” 

“Kind of?” Waverly scoffs with feigned hurt. Nicole rolls her eyes, head cocking to the side. She tugs on Waverly’s hand and pulls her into a kiss in the middle of the sidewalk. They’re both grinning like idiots and Nicole thinks  _ how could I be this lucky?  _

But the universe has never been kind to Nicole Haught. A man— tall, broad shoulders, dark scruff— bumps into them and it sends Nicole stumbling into him. 

She smells alcohol on his breath. Rum, like her dad used to drink. There’s something else too; cologne, she realizes. It’s woody, a little sweet— and is that citrus? Cedarwood. Bergamot.  _ Cedarwood and bergamot and rum.  _

“Ma’am, I’m so sorry. Are you two alright?” 

“Nic, Babe, are you okay?” 

“Ma’am?” 

“Nicole?” 

She hears the familiar sound of her throat tightening, causing a whistle in her breath. Rum, just like dad used to drink. Cedarwood and bergamot cologne, just like her dad used to wear _. Just like her dad.  _ The man has backed away, but the scent is in her nose and the memories are back in her head; Nicole tastes metal in her mouth. His hands are on her and there’s blood trickling down her face and there’s some shouting and an  _ ‘I love you’  _ and an  _ ‘I’m sorry’  _ and two loud bangs and  _ silence _ . 

“Nicole? Baby?” Waverly’s hands are on her face and she smells jasmine and vanilla—nice, fruity smells that are purely  _ Waverly _ — but her dad is still in her head and— “Fuck, she’s having a panic attack.” 

“Should I go get some—”

“No. No, just go, please. Thank you.” Waverly waves the man off and he disappears back down the sidewalk (not that Nicole could ever really focus on him in the first place.) “What’s happening, Nicole? Give me something.” 

“Co-Cologne.” is all Nicole manages before breathing becomes too hard and she can only focus on the expansion and contraction of her lungs while fire spreads around her. Thankfully, one word is enough for Waverly. 

“His cologne? Shit, uh. . .oh! The smell of his cologne. . . got it.” Waverly pieces it together. “Okay, let’s go, Baby. Your apartment is just down the street.” She starts walking, pulling Nicole with her by both of her hands. Waverly’s completely facing Nicole, walking backward in front of her. 

Nicole's eyes are squeezed shut while she drags in air.

Waverly lifts Nicole’s chin. “Hey. Just look at me.” Nicole forces her eyes up to Waverly’s and then she can’t move them away. “He’s gone, Nicole. He can’t hurt you, okay? Look at me. See? He’s gone. Breathe, Baby.”  

“Okay, we’re here. I’m gonna get my key, alright?” Waverly lets go of Nicole’s hands and reaches into her purse. She quickly unlocks the door and leads Nicole inside, helping her sit down on the couch. Calamity Jane is at Nicole’s side, lying down on the floor next to her feet. The redhead leans forward, panting, and pulls off her jacket. The bowtie goes next, landing on the floor near the jacket. Waverly has realized they are correlated with the symptoms of Nicole’s panic attacks. On cue, she helps Nicole’s shaky fingers unbutton her shirt all the way to the bottom. Nicole lets out a gasp of air and Waverly kneels down in front of her, hesitating when she goes to place her hands on Nicole. 

“I’m gonna hold your hands, okay?” Waverly looks to her for consent, not wanting to startle her. Nicole, forcing jagged, shuddery breaths in and out of her lungs, nods. “Breathe, Baby.” They stay like that until the whistle leaves Nicole’s breathing and her throat feels open again. Sweat and tears glisten on her flushed skin. Waverly brushes back a strand of hair that has fallen into Nicole’s face. 

Nicole huffs out a breath, sighing heavily. “I’m so—” 

“Nope. You’re not about to apologize.” 

“But I r-ruined our anniversary,” Nicole protests. 

“No, you didn’t. Baby,” Waverly laughs. “While I don’t love being completely helpless while my girlfriend has a panic attack, shit happens. Because I want my favorite person to be okay; all that matters is that you’re okay.” 

“God, I-” Nicole looks up at her, eyes wide. Her bottom lip quivers. “You are. . . You’re my favorite person—” Nicole yawns. “Too. You’re my favorite person too.” 

Waverly giggles, pulling herself up to sit on the couch so she can hug Nicole. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

“Not in the slightest,” Nicole deadpans, before softening. “I mean, not now. Tomorrow, maybe. Is that okay?” 

“Of course, Babe. This is all on your terms. And, besides, I think our best conversations happen in the morning.” 

Waverly can feel the tension and knots in Nicole’s shoulders. “Why don’t we go to bed; I know you’ve gotta be exhausted.” 

“Okay.” Nicole nods, but Waverly still has to practically drag her off the couch. Whether it‘s because of Nicole’s overall stubbornness or the fact that she’s half-asleep, Waverly’s not sure. CJ follows them into the bedroom, curling up at the foot of the bed. They both climb in bed after changing out of their clothes, and Nicole rolls over to face Waverly. 

“I, uh— about tonight. . .” Nicole’s voice is hardly above a whisper. Waverly stares intently, hazel eyes locked onto Nicole’s. “That guy, he smelled like rum. And the cologne m-my dad used to wear. I’ve read about olfactory-triggered attacks and flashbacks before,  but that w-was the f-first time I’ve had one.” 

Waverly nods, gripping the hand resting on the mattress above her head. She’s realized it’s better to just nod along, let Nicole know she’s listening. 

“And it t-took me back to that. . .” Nicole’s voice cracks. “That night.” 

Both of them are silent for a long time, until Waverly, despite her better judgment, asks, “What happened that night?” 

There’s no response, which is kind of what she’s expecting. Nicole is sleeping, or at least pretending, beside her. Waverly looks over at Nicole, who seems peaceful. But the nightmares are frequent, especially the last few days, and Waverly anticipates that Nicole’s peace won’t last. Waverly’s mind fleets to what Dolls told her at Thanksgiving; she thinks about it a lot. Waverly’s been patient and has let Nicole unpack her baggage piece by piece, but  _ fuck _ , she’s gotta know what happened. Because it’s been torturing Nicole for ten years and everything be damned if Waverly’s not gonna do whatever she can to help her find and  _ keep  _ some peace. 

Waverly thinks about what else Dolls said, about _love._ Love without a capital ‘L’. 

But that was months ago, and Waverly’s feelings about Nicole have only gotten stronger. 

So perhaps, it is love. 

Love  _ with  _ a capital ‘L’.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, uh, that happened. I know not that much happened in this chapter (aside from some fleeting thoughts and Nicole's panic attack), but next chapter. . . it's getting real and intense. The next chapter could be triggering to some of you ( or even parts of this one), so please, read with caution and make sure you're mentally prepared for what's to come. Thank you, loves, I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and totally make my day, should you feel so inclined to leave them. 
> 
> thanks again <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all! I do apologize; I was supposed to upload this on Friday, but then I made a last-minute decision to go up to the cabin with my family for a day or two. There's is little to no signal up there, so I was kind of off the grid. It was nice though, to disconnect for a little bit. I spent some quality time with my camera.   
> Anywho, here's this. there's a lot going on this chapter, so I hope I executed it well. Like I said before, this could be potentially touchy or triggering(who am I kidding, this whole story is like that), so just read with caution and take care of yourselves. Enjoy! <3

 

_Nicole pushes her hands into the pockets of her pants, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. The number of pity looks she's gotten in the last thirty minutes is almost ridiculous. It's not that she wants it, but where was that sympathy when she'd show to first period with bruises peeking out from under her shirtsleeves? When she grimaced through every step of the walk at eighth-grade graduation— the one that none of her family was there for— because she sprained her ankle trying to stop her father from shoving her down the steps._

_Nicole isn't really sure what compelled her to come to her Father's funeral. Maybe it's an attempt to retain some sense of normalcy in the wake of everything; maybe it's to save a little face for the rest of her family. Or maybe it's the need to see that casket and know that he's gone for good. That he won't hurt her again._

_But for fuck's sake, one more month and she'd have been out of the house! She could've gone to New York and left this shithole behind. No blood—save for her own— would've been spilled. She could've moved._

_Now Nicole's mother is sitting in a jail cell, waiting to be put on trial for the murder of Nicole's father. And Nicole is standing in the front row of the funeral for the man she hated, next to the sister who feels like a stranger._

 

* * * * * 

 

The first thing Nicole thinks when she wakes up hugging a pillow is that Waverly left. That she decided Nicole’s baggage was too heavy. That she couldn’t wait for Nicole to be ready any longer. That Nicole wasn’t worth it.

But then she remembers that it’s Waverly she’s talking about, and she pads into the kitchen to see her girlfriend leaning on the counter next to the stove with a book in her hand, reading pages in between flipping pancakes. The earbuds she has in leave her oblivious to the woman standing in the bedroom doorway. CJ is at her food bowl eating breakfast that Waverly got for her.

Sunshine filters through the window above the sink and it casts an angel-like glow on Waverly, her hair almost turning gold in the light. The whole image is surreal, too good to be true, and Nicole can’t help but thinking that she’d love to wake up like this every morning. With Waverly in her bed or Waverly in her kitchen or Waverly in her arms. Because she loves this scene and she lov— _likes_ , really likes the woman starring in it.

“Up before me for once, huh?” Nicole asks as she makes her way over. A startled Waverly goes careening into Nicole, yelping in surprise.

“Shit, you scared me!” Waverly yells over the music in her ears.

Nicole chuckles, pulling out one of the headphones. “Babe? What are you listening to?”

Waverly takes one of the earbuds and puts it in Nicole’s ear. A familiar song reverbs in Nicole’s head and a small smile stretches across her face.

“Cigarette Daydreams?” I didn’t peg you for a Cage the Elephant kind of girl.”

“Well, I’m full of surprises,” Waverly smirks, reaching for Nicole’s hands. “Dance with me?”

“But the pancakes. . .” Nicole points to the stove; dancing has never been a strength of hers.

“—Will be fine. We’ll watch them,” Waverly finishes, tugging on her hands again. She looks up at Nicole with wide eyes. “Please, Baby?”

Nicole sighs because, despite her best attempts, she doesn’t have the power to deny Waverly much of anything. “Yeah, okay.”

The shorter woman grins, pulling Nicole away from the counter and into the living room.

Waverly quickly finds a rhythm, her body swaying with the music. Nicole’s eyebrows furrow as she watches her feet, trying not to step on Waverly’s. “Sorry, I, uh, I’m not much of a dancer.”

“Give yourself a little bit more credit; I think that you’re just distracted by everything going on in that head of yours,” Waverly smiles, falling back in with the song. “ _No time at all, I followed you into the hall—_ ”

“ _Cigarette Daydreams, you were only seventeen,_ ” Nicole joins in, gaining a bit of confidence. They keep singing, but all of the thoughts she doesn’t want to think seem to seep in between the lyrics. Waverly’s got her eyes closed, head bobbing to the music, and Nicole’s words stick in her throat. She knows she can’t keep it from Waverly any longer. Hell, she doesn’t want to keep it from Waverly any longer. Because this right here, this woman and this moment and this _feeling_ — scary as it is— is the best thing in Nicole’s life and she has to know that it’s going to be okay no matter what. Rationally, Nicole knows that Waverly wouldn’t just bolt, but, well, Nicole’s never been good at rationalizing when it comes to her childhood.

“Nic,” Waverly pulls her back and she realizes the song has ended. “I lost you.”

“S-Sorry. This is great and I’m—”

Waverly brushes a lock of red hair behind Nicole’s ear. “No, don’t apologize. I know, okay. Why don’t we sit down, yeah?”

“W-What about the pancakes?” Is all Nicole can think to say because though she wants to tell Waverly, it doesn’t make it much easier.

“I’ll get them,” Waverly giggles. “You sit.”

So Nicole does.

Halfway through her third pancake, Nicole states, ”I don’t really know where to start.”

Waverly looks up from her own food. “Are you sure you’re ready to do this?”

“I think so,” Nicole says before her voice drops to a whisper. “J-Just. . . please don’t. . .” Nicole can’t even finish her sentence, but Waverly knows. Waverly always knows.

Waverly reaches for her Nicole’s hand grabbing it with both of hers. “Hey, I got you, alright? I’m not going anywhere.”

Nicole gets up from the table and walking her way to the bookshelf. She lingers for a moment before pulling a camera— _the_ camera— off the shelf and moving to the couch.

“Nikon, right?” Waverly asks as she joins Nicole on the sofa.

Nicole nods, running her fingers along the embossment on the strap like she’s done a billion times before. “I never could switch to Canon after they gave this to me.”

Waverly takes a deep breath. “What happened to your aunt and uncle, Nicole? You said it was a car accident, but that’s all.”

“They were coming to get me.” Nicole’s thumb swivels the command dial. “That last time I went to see them, they must’ve figured out what my dad was doing. They were driving down to get me and then a pickup T-boned them. I didn’t even know that’s what they were coming until the hospital called my dad.”

“What about your sister? Were they going to get her too?”

Nicole shakes her head. “They didn’t need to. He didn’t hit her.”

“Why not?”

Nicole shrugs, chuckling dryly. “Because she was planned. Because she got ‘A’s in history class.  Because she played the flute and went to law school and doesn’t like girls.”

“Oh.”

“But I guess better me than her.”

Waverly puts a hand on Nicole’s knee. “No. Not ‘better you than her’. No one deserves to be treated like that by the people who are supposed to protect them.” She stops for a moment. “Didn't your mom ever do anything?”

“N-No. Not until the end.”

“What do you mean ‘the end’?”

“When I told h-him I was going to NYU. As far as they knew, I was going to Alberta for business, but I’d sent in my response to New York the day after I got the acceptance letter. I had told him when there was about a month until graduation; I figured I’d be alright because Dolls was supposed to be coming to get me so we could go to a party.

“I, uh, I told him, and he. . . r-roughed me up a bit, but then he ran out of beer and left to go get some. My mom got home while I was in my room getting ready and I guess she just couldn’t handle it anymore. S-She told me that she loved me and to tell Xavier thank you. I thought it was weird, but I left for the party anyway.”

“Then what happened?” Waverly’s voice is gentle. Guiding, not prying.

“S-So Dolls and I go to this party, but then it got kind of messy and we decided it’d just be better to leave, so we got ice cream and then he dropped me off at home. He offered to come in, b-but I told him no. I sh-shouldn’t have said n-no.” Something between a sob and a gasp leaves Nicole’s throat. “I shouldn’t h-have said no, Waverly.”

Waverly pushes herself closer to Nicole, pulling Nicole’s head to her shoulder. Their hands find each other over the controls of the camera. Waverly’s thumb clicks at the shutter over Nicole’s, moving in sync. “I got you. Take your time. I got you.”

Nicole likes the feeling of her face buried in Waverly’s neck. It’s safe and it’s warm and it’s so _Waverly._ Nicole can smell the vanilla lingering on her skin and the jasmine in her shampoo.

She takes a deep breath. “He dropped me off, and I-uh, I walked in the door to find my dad kneeling on the floor in the living room, a-and my mom standing in front of him with a. . . with a g-gun pressed to his head." 

Waverly's eyes go wide, but she doesn't let herself dwell on it, and 

“There was a lot of yelling a-and Mom told me that she was sorry and that she loved me. I begged her not to do it. B-But, I guess you can probably figure out how that went.

“Mom didn’t get any kind of sympathy because my dad was a pretty respected guy in the community, and even though she did it to protect us— _me_ — at that moment he wasn’t actively hurting someone i-it didn’t matter. L-Life sentence.

“Hayley came home for the funeral. Obviously, we’ve never been particularly close, but there was something even more distant about us after that. She blames me for Mom going to jail and —even if we all hated him— Dad being dead. She blames me and I. . . I don’t blame h-her.”

Waverly cups Nicole’s face in her hands, brushing away tears the redhead’s tears while they pool in her own eyes. “Oh, honey, I’m sure she doesn’t blame you. None of that is your fault, okay? Not a single bit.”

“No, I just _had_ to come out. I just _had_ to be a photographer. Even though I knew, I _knew_ how he was gonna react.” Nicole pinches the bridge of her nose, sniffling.

Waverly pulls Nicole’s hands away from her face so she can look at her. “Because you knew, even as a teenager, that you shouldn’t have to hide or conform or push down what you love. You deserved— you _deserve_ to be happy.”

“Not when my happiness destroys e-everything around me.”

Waverly sighs. “But it doesn’t, Baby. It doesn’t. You make everyone around you laugh and you make them love deeper. And your smile— my God, Nicole, your smile. Not the fake when you use when you’re uncomfortable; the one you have when you talk about photography or when Calamity greets you at the door or when—”

“When I’m with you?” Nicole asks, eyes wide with question.

Waverly nods, a smile gracing her own lips. “Or when you’re with me. You glow when you smile like that, and everyone sees that and can’t help but feel that warmth too.”

Nicole’s face has flushed red, but her eyes are still glossy and “Not my dad, though.”

“Nic, the way your dad is has nothing to do with you. Even if you were perfect— and you’re already pretty damn close—  he would still have found something to hate you and hurt you for. Someone like that doesn’t just ‘turn bad’ because his daughter is an artist or a lesbian. Your father was awful; that’s not your fault.” With one hand running along Nicole’s back and the other holding Nicole’s head, Waverly says, “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. I’m gonna tell you that for as long as you need to hear it; until you believe it.”

“Th-Thank you,” Nicole whispers, pressing another button on the camera before setting it on the coffee table.

“For what?” Waverly asks. Nicole pulls back to look at her, hands still trembling against Waverly’s sides.

“F-For being the way you are. For being patient, for not r-running away.”

Waverly chuckles. “Nicole, nothing could make me run away. If there are more skeletons, we’ll clean out the closet together. If you’ve got ghosts, I know a guy. I’m staying right here, like it or not.”

“W-Why?”

“Because I love you, dumbass,” Waverly says immediately. There's not a trace of hesitation in her voice. Her eyes go wide when she realizes what she said. Her voice goes soft. “I love you, Nic.”

Nicole feels her eyes watering. Her blush is deeper than Waverly’s ever seen it, but there’s something like panic in Nicole's eyes. “I-uh, I-”

Waverly shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to say it back; I know it’s kind of fast on my end.” Waverly presses her lips to Nicole’s forehead. “But we’ve got all the time in the world, Darling.”

Nicole likes the sound of that. 

 

* * * * * 

 

 

Napping seems to be their favorite pastime, but to hell with it if Waverly's gonna complain. "You sleep okay, Nic?" 

"With you? Always." Nicole wraps her arms tighter around the girl on top of her. The small size of the couch isn't really proving to be a problem for them anymore. 

"What do you mean?" 

Nicole shrugs, her eyes falling closed again. "Dunno. The. . . nightmares. . . aren't as bad when you're here." 

Waverly sighs, kissing the top of Nicole's head. "But lately, they've been really rough, haven't they. You've been wa—" 

"Baby, at worst, I used to pull two or three all-nighters in a row because I didn't want to go to sleep. At best, I'd maybe sleep three hours a night." 

Waverly steals a glance at her. Nicole's brown eyes are hidden behind closed eyelids; Waverly can't tell what she's feeling. "Shit, Nicole, I didn't know that it's that bad." 

Her eyes open. " _Was_ that bad," Nicole corrects, the corners of her mouth flitting upwards. "Whenever you're here, I'm okay. I'm better than okay." 

Waverly pulls Nicole closer into her. "I'm glad that I help, but there are still times when I'm not here. I worry about you, Nic. I don't want it to get that bad again."

“So move in with me,” Nicole mumbles against her neck.

Waverly looks down at her. “What?”

Nicole shifts so that she can sit up. “M-Move in with me. I mean, I've kinda played all my crazy cards, and you're still here. So why not be _here?_  All the time.” She’s quick to add, “i-if you want to. Only if you want to.”

Waverly kisses her quickly. “Yes. Yes, I’d love to be _here_  all the time. And to fend off your nightmares full-time. Maybe CJ will even finally stop trying to steal my spot.”

“Doubt it. But like, are you for real? Like this is  _happening_ happening? 

"Yes!” Waverly exclaims and Nicole kisses her again. "It's happening." 

"Yeah?" Nicole’s smile is so big it hurts. Of all the ways Nicole’s mind told her today was going to go, this was definitely not one of them. The one where Waverly loves her and they’re gonna live together and Nicole is  _okay._ One where she’s  _happy._

Waverly giggles, “Yes.” She shifts herself on top of Nicole, grabbing her face and kissing her. Nicole flips them over, using her arms to brace herself above Waverly on the couch. Waverly’s fingers tangle in Nicole’s hair, leaving her with worse bedhead than when she woke up.

“Nic?” Waverly breathes against her lips.

“Yeah, Babe?” Nicole kisses along Waverly’s jaw, trailing down her neck.

“Take me to _our_ bedroom.”

Nicole looks up, a smirk playing on her lips. “Happily.”

 

* * * * *

 

“Baby?” Waverly brushes her fingers through the hairs at the base of Nicole’s neck.

Nicole turns her head to look at her. “Mmm?”

“Have you ever thought about reaching out to Hayley? Or going to see your mom?”

“I just haven’t been able to bring myself to visit her. I know you said that it’s not my fault, but however you wanna look at it, she’s i-in there because of m-me.”

“I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.” Waverly traces Nicole’s jawline with her thumb. “What about your sister?”

Nicole shrugs. “I’ve thought about it, a lot. But Hayley wouldn’t want t-to see me.”

Waverly sighs. She understands where her girlfriend is coming from, but somewhere inside of her, it feels off. Someone who used to dress her cuts and make sure she was okay after every fight wouldn’t just turn her away like that. Hell, Nicole’s said it herself: Hayley hated their dad almost as much as Nicole. Why would she bail on her little sister? It just doesn’t make sense to Waverly.

“I think now is when I get to ask _you_ what’s going on in your head.”

Waverly refocuses, looking up at her girlfriend. Nicole is gazing down at her with one eyebrow cocked and that little half-smile that makes her dimple very prominent.

“Nothing crazy,” Waverly assures, kissing her. “Just that I love you.”

“That seems a little crazy to me.”

“Shut up.” Waverly slaps her arm. “You’re a moron.”

“Get used to it, _Roomie._ You said you’d move in; you’re stuck with me now.”  

“I can live with that.” Waverly grins, kissing Nicole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I'm pretty happy with the way this turned out... I think. well, I don't know. I'm gonna upload before i change my mind. Thank you for reading; comments and kudos are appreciated. I'll probably see y'all around this time next week with a new chapter (also if my original plan stays, we're 2/3 of the way through this baby) Holy heck, y'all! That's crazy!   
> Love y'all <3333 :))))))


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I apologize for my tardiness with this chapter; I have finals this week and shit's getting real. But anywho, this is completely unedited and it's also like 12:30 at night and I have two exams tomorrow. So, uh, enjoy? I apologize for any errors in spelling/grammar/punctuation or any possible plotholes. It would be rather plausible that in my current state, I totally skip something in the plot. Though, when I read it through, it made sense.  
> —basically, what I'm saying is, bear with me—

_Nicole has only heard from her sister a few times in the last ten years. There was a postcard shortly before Dad's passing; a check-in to make sure Nicole was doing alright and asking if she'd told him about NYU yet (she hadn't). There'd been a graduation card shortly after, along with a gift Nicole never took out of the box._

_The most prominent, perhaps, was when Nicole received a wedding invitation— Hayley was marrying her high school sweetheart, of course— along with a letter. The wedding invitation showed pictures of her sister, happy as ever, grinning with David in front of an old live oak. There's one of them on a park bench too that reminds Nicole of Hayley's graduation photos._

_After a long few days and what might have been an attempt at soul-searching in the letters of a piece of cardstock, Nicole threw the invitation in the trash. Hayley didn't really want her there; it was a sympathy invite. The letter, however, found its way into a box of unopened mail Nicole will never get around to._

_She never had the heart to open the letter._

 

* * * * * 

 

“That’s it, Babe. That’s the last one,” Nicole sets the box down on the kitchen table, a grin gracing her lips. After over a month of Waverly’s things sporadically appearing in Nicole’s apartment, “We really did it.”

Waverly’s own smile matches Nicole’s and she makes her way over, wrapping her arms around Nicole’s neck. “We really did it,” She whispers.

“I love this. I can’t wait to wake up next to you every morning.” She looks unbelievably happy. Nicole is wearing her glasses; she says that it’s because her eyes are dry, but really, Waverly thinks that Nicole is scared she’ll cry and they’ll fall out. Her dimple is so prominent, Waverly feels compelled to stick her finger in it. There are flecks of gold in her brown eyes, making them look lighter than Waverly’s ever seen. _Nicole_ looks lighter than Waverly has ever seen.

She realizes her own eyes have welled up with tears and Nicole is quick to brush them away when they fall.

“Hey, Baby, what’s wrong?” Nicole’s eyebrows furrow with concern and her mouth twists into a frown.

Waverly shakes her head. “No, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Nicole argues gently. “Is something wrong? Is it me?”

“No. _God_ , no.” Waverly smiles, brushing a strand of hair back. “These are happy tears. I’m just so happy.“

“Me too,” Nicole grins, her own eyes glossing over with unshed tears.

“I just can’t believe I’m so in love with a person, and now I get to live with them. This is like a movie. I’m so happy.” She’s still holding Nicole’s face, running her fingers over Nicole’s dimples.

A few tears trace their way down Nicole’s face, but her smile never wavers. Nicole grips Waverly’s wrists softly where they rest on either side of her own head. Brown eyes pore into hazel ones and Nicole doesn’t know what to say. She knows what she _wants_ to say, but making the words come out is a different story. So she pulls Waverly in and kisses her quickly, before making her way over to the speaker in the corner. She scrolls through her phone, finds the song she wants, and wanders back to Waverly.  “I-I’ve been practicing, so it’s only fair I get to pick the song this time.”

"Something" by The Beatles starts to play, and Waverly looks up at her girlfriend. “You’re so soft.”

_"Something in the way she moves. . ."_

“Only for you,” Nicole whispers, taking her hands and guiding them to her shoulders. Nicole rests her own hands on Waverly’s waist, pulling her closer. “You know I'm a sucker for The Beatles, even more so when I was in high school. Though, I guess I just loved— love— music. Put my earbuds in and give me a camera, and everything else falls away.”

“I’ve noticed,” Waverly laughs.

“Except you, Wave. There were hundreds of people in that park the day we met and I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

“Yeah, and then you were all creepy and took a picture of me.” Waverly smiles playfully. Nicole rolls her eyes, ears going red. This is what makes them so good; this wonderful mixture of playfulness, realness, and intimacy. Nicole loves it more than anything. 

“It’s not my fault that you’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re biased; good photographers see the beauty in everything.”

“I suppose, but still.”

“You’re such a dork.” Waverly pulls Nicole’s closer and buries her face in her t-shirt. It smells like lavender and coffee and Waverly loves it. She pulls back when she repositions her hands on Nicole’s shoulders and feels knots in the muscles of her shoulders and back.

“You’re always so tense, Babe,” Waverly’s face scrunches with concern. “I’m going to make you a massage appointment or something.”

“Or you could _relax me_. . .” Nicole wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m serious!” Waverly hits Nicole’s arm.

“So am I.”

“You’re impossible.”

“You love me.”

“That I do,” Waverly agrees, kissing her again. The song ends and Waverly goes to pull away, but Nicole holds on to her and continues to sway, matching the beat as the next song starts.

“Stay with me a minute.”

“I’ll stay with you all the minutes,” Waverly says against Nicole’s neck. “We should make this a tradition.

“Hmm?”

“I wanna dance with you every night.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Nicole mumbles into Waverly’s hair.

“I thought you weren’t much of a dancer,” Waverly teases, poking her in the side. “Why are you agreeing with me?”

“It’s growing on me.” Nicole shrugs, spinning Waverly around. “And. . . I’d do anything for you.”

“You flatter me, Nicole Haught,” Waverly giggles.

Nicole flashes a knowing smile, a fragment of a memory piercing her. “Well, Waverly Earp, that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?”

 

* * * * *

 

“Holy shit.”

“That you, Babe?” Waverly asks without looking up from the notes she’s written in the margins of an essay she’s grading.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s me.” Nicole sets her respective camera and laptop bags down on the kitchen table and hangs her jacket up on the hook by the door.

“Are you alright?” Waverly does look up now, watching Nicole.

“I’m fantastic.” Nicole slips off her shoes and pats Calamity on the head before walking over to Waverly. She kisses her once on the lips and then on the forehead. “I just—wow. I get to walk into my house and— sorry, _our_ house— and see you sitting here and fuck. Holy fucking fuck. I’m not over it.”

Waverly giggles, loosening Nicole’s tie. It has small _Star Wars_ rebel logos on it, naturally. “I know, Nic. Holy fucking fuck, indeed. Though, it’s been a week; you better get used to it.”

“How was work?” Nicole asks.

Waverly groans. “I love my job, but I’m going to scratch out my eyes if I have to grade on more essay tonight. How about you?”

“Really, really busy. But I saw that old man on my way home. The saxophonist from the first time I took you on the subway.”

Waverly smiles, brushing her hands down Nicole’s shoulders. “Yeah? Look how far I’ve come; I’ve even got my own card now.”

“I’m so proud,” Nicole grins.

 

* * * * *

 

“Nicole!” Waverly shouts from the kitchen.

The redhead jogs into the kitchen in nothing but a sports bra and a towel haphazardly tied around her waist. “You okay?”

Waverly glares at her, and then at the mostly empty ice cream carton in her hand. “What the hell is this?”

“Uh. . . ice cream?” Nicole cocks an eyebrow, holding onto one of her arms above the elbow.

“Mhm. _Neapolitan_ ice cream. So why is only the strawberry and vanilla gone?”

Nicole shrugs sheepishly. “You know I don’t like chocolate ice cream.”

Waverly sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. Honestly, she probably shouldn’t be getting this worked up, but she’s halfway through a stack of theses and all she wants is some goddamn ice cream. “Then why did you buy Neapolitan?”

“Because the strawberry tastes better in Neapolitan.” Nicole’s head tilts to the side. “Why are you getting so upset?”

“I want ice cream!” Waverly slams the carton down on the counter.

“It’s not that big of a deal, Waverly.” Nicole’s stance has gradually gotten more defensive. Her shoulders are hunched over, protective, and her arms have folded over her chest.

“Well, maybe if you would actually include me in stuff like grocery shopping we wouldn’t have this problem! I mean, Jesus, I _live_ _here_ now.” Waverly throws her arms up, groaning in frustration.

“I’m _sorry_ that I was trying to take some stress off you!”

“I didn’t ask you to do that!”

Nicole’s face morphs from anger to disbelief. She regards Waverly for a moment and shakes her head, turning back toward the bedroom. “You know what? I don’t need this right now.”

She’s changed into joggers and a hoodie and walking out the door with her camera around her neck before Waverly can so much as put up a fight.

Tears well up in the brunette’s eyes as she sits down on the kitchen table, slouching into her hands while she hears her heartbeat pulse in her ears.

 

It can’t have been more than an hour and a half when Waverly hears the door open and close and the rustling of something being set on the counter. “Mint chocolate chip, Rocky Road,  French vanilla, and _Neapolitan.”_ Nicole slides the bag across the table, slouching into the chair adjacent to Waverly. “I’m sorry.”

Waverly shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass; I know you were just trying to help.”

“But you’re right. I need to register the fact that there is another person living in this apartment now, and you need to be a part of things. Even mundane ones like grocery shopping. So I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Nicole leans over, kissing Waverly on the cheek.

“I love you,” Waverly says, kissing her softly.

Nicole shakes her head. “We really fought over fucking ice cream, huh?”

“Yeah,” Waverly chuckles. “We did.”

“Stress is a _bitch_.”

“We need a vacation.” For emphasis, she sweeps a stack of papers off the table dramatically. “Or at least a mini one.”

Nicole nods dutifully, bending down to start gathering the papers. “I could probably take Friday off and we could have a long weekend; go visit your mom and aunt or something.”

“No, let’s get away from Purgatory for a minute.” Waverly leans down to help Nicole.

Nicole chuckles, pulling out Waverly’s chair to grab a multi-page essay held together by three poorly placed staples. “Alright. Do you have somewhere in mind?”

“Yep.”

Nicole waits for her to go on. “Care to share?”

“Nope.”

“I’ll start packing,” Nicole sighs.

 

* * * * *

 

“Alright, Baby, I hope you’ve got your best road trip playlist ready because we have a five-hour drive ahead of us,” Waverly announces.

Nicole messes with the AUX cord, flinching when static comes over the radio. When the noise stops, Nicole tries to connect it again. “Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Red Hot Chili Peppers. You name it, it’s on here.”

Waverly rolls her eyes. “You are a suburban dad, I swear to God.”

“Please,” Nicole scoffs. “Your disco fever isn’t much better.”

Waverly sneaks a glance over at Nicole, who’s wearing a smug look. “Fair point.”

“Anyway, there is _no other way_ to start this trip than with “Road Trippin’”,” Nicole tells her, playing the song. They listen for a few moments until Nicole’s curiosity gets the better of her. “Hey, why did you decide we were going on a spur of the moment road trip?”

Waverly’s grip tightens on the steering wheel as she flexes the muscles in her hands. “I just thought we could use a break. You’ve been so stressed at work and I’ve been prepping for finals and we just finished moving me over and all that. Did you not want to do this?”

“No! No, it’s not that. I’m _beyond_ thrilled to get a break. And to spend time with you. I just wondered since you seem very dead set on wherever it is we’re going.”

Waverly adjusts her grip on the steering wheel again. The foot not on the gas pedal taps rhythmically against the rubber of the floormat.

“You alright, Babe?” Nicole rests a hand on Waverly’s knee to slow down the bouncing. “Normally I’m the fidgety one.”

“Yeah, Yeah. I’m good. I’m just excited for us to get away.”

It’s not like Nicole isn’t picking up on Waverly’s body language. She’s stiff and tense,  almost like she’s nervous. But Nicole doesn’t ask. Waverly gave her all the patience and time when she needed it; Nicole is going to do the same if there’s something bothering Waverly, even as much as she wants to know.

So she nods along, links her hand with Waverly's, gives a reassuring smile and says, “Me too, Waves.”

 

* * * * *

 

“Edmonton, huh?” Nicole asks as they pass a sign that signals they’re only a few miles away. Waverly’s even jumpier now; she seems to hold her breath every time a car passes them.

“Yup. Surprise.”

“What’s in Edmonton?” Nicole asks, her eyebrow arching.

“You’ll see.” They get off at a different exit than the Edmonton one, turning onto a street that branches off into clean-cut, newly developed neighborhoods.

“I don’t know what could be in the suburbs, Darling.” A soft smile paints Nicole’s lips, but something sinks in her stomach as they pass by a row of white houses with white picket fences and shiny SUVs in the perfectly paved driveways.

Nicole can think of a dozen places she’d rather be than in one of these clean-cut, kitschy neighborhoods, but Waverly’s here and anywhere is somewhere with Waverly.

“You’ll see. Her responses are short and clipped, not the usual adorable rambling. Nicole turns more in her seat to look at her.

“Okay, Babe, what’s up?” Nicole asks

Waverly is silent for a long time and Nicole thinks that must’ve passed by a million of these houses already. Somehow, Waverly manages to pick the house she’s looking for out of the street of lookalikes, turning into the driveway of a two-story. It’s mostly brick, with some white siding, and there’s one of those plastic playhouses under a tree in the front yard.

“Waverly, what is g-going on?” Nicole’s chest is bubbling up with a feeling she can’t quite put her finger on. Nerves are one thing, yes, but this is something else entirely.

The brunette turns toward her in the seat. “I’m sorry; please don’t be mad. I just. . . I couldn’t let you torture yourself anymore.”

“W-What? You’re scaring me, Wave.”

There’s a faint sound of a door opening and closing and Nicole sees a woman with red hair in her peripheral vision. The sinking in her gut gets heavier and heavier the closer the woman gets. She nods at Waverly as she reaches the car, but walks around to the passenger side where Nicole sits. Nicole is almost positive her heart is now resting next to her Docs on the floorboards.

Knuckles wrap lightly on the rolled-down window. “Hey, Nicole.” Hayley Haught scratches at the back of her neck, offering her little sister a tentative smile. “It’s been a while.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm going to sleep now! See you next week, loves!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all this took me way too long, but I was in D.C. for a trip and I forgot to mention it last time. I didn't even have my laptop with me. This chapter also stumped me a little, because I wasn't really sure how I wanted everybody's reactions to play out. I hope I did a decent job. Hope you enjoy!

“W-What?” Nicole turns to Waverly. “What is this?” 

Waverly reaches for Nicole’s hand, but the redhead flinches away, hands shaking as she pulls them back. “I. . . “ Waverly trails off because there’s no simple way to explain this. There’s no simple way to tell her girlfriend that she’s been going behind her back for weeks, even if it was with good reason. 

Hayley looks the same as she did the last time Nicole saw her. Perhaps a little older and wiser, though. She gestures toward Waverly, her eyes never leaving Nicole. “Your friend’s been in touch. Would you, uh, come inside? Please.” 

“Uhm, uh. . . y-yeah,” Nicole stammers, forcing her shaky hand to unbuckle her seatbelt. 

“Then come on, let’s go.” Hayley opens Nicole’s door, stepping back so she can get out. 

“Why don’t I stay out here for a bit?” Waverly offers because she knows Nicole has every right to be mad. 

Hayley gives Waverly a smile and a nod of acknowledgment. “I’m gonna head in. Meet me inside?” 

Nicole nods, watching her sister walk into the house. As soon as her boots touch the pavement another wave of dread rolls through her and she needs Waverly. Maybe she should be angry or upset, but right now she’s just confused. She’s confused and scared and she  _ needs her.  _

“Come in,  _ please.  _ I n-need—”

Waverly’s out of the car and at her side in an instant and she stares up at her for a long moment. Hesitantly, she places her hands at the base of Nicole’s neck, feeling the tension there. “I know you’re probably mad; you have  _ every _ right to be. But she wanted to see you, Nic.” 

“You mean she’s not. . .” 

Waverly touches Nicole’s face, standing on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Nicole’s brow. “It’s not my story to tell; this is between you and her now, Baby. But I couldn’t watch you bury yourself in guilt over something that wasn’t your fault. I did it because I love you, and I’ll take whatever comes after.” 

“I’m not m-mad. A-At least, I don’t think I am,” Nicole says, her tone lilting like a question. Her eyes are darker today, looking more like coffee than caramel. She’s quiet for a few seconds, staring intently at Waverly with an expression Waverly can’t quite figure out. “Why did H-Hayley call you my  _ friend _ ? Do you think she’s trying to avoid using the word girlfriend because she d-doesn’t accept me? Oh, fuck, what if she’s—” 

“Hey, hey. Nicole.” Waverly cups her cheeks, brushing her thumbs over Nicole’s cheekbones. “She called me your friend because she doesn’t know that I’m your girlfriend.” 

“What? Why?” 

Waverly gives her a gentle smile. “I know you haven’t come out to her, and I didn’t want to take that opportunity away from you.”

Nicole’s eyebrows scrunch together in another emotion Waverly has yet to decode, but the taller woman leans down and kisses her squarely on the mouth. Waverly’s on her tiptoes and Nicole’s leaning down quite a bit, but they rest their foreheads together. 

Waverly pulls away suddenly, going back to the car to look for something. She turns to Nicole a few moments later holding a small plastic cube in her hand. “I got you something. It’s called a fidget cube; I don’t know if you’ve heard of them before. But basically, they’re made to help people with anxiety and ADHD and other disorders like that focus. I thought maybe it would help you stay a bit calmer. I know you normally play with your camera, but this is a bit more subtle and easier for you to bring with you.” Waverly presses it into Nicole’s palm. “And some of the pieces on it are pretty similar to your camera. Like these little wheel things are kinda like that spinny dial that you move with your thumb.” 

“The command dial?” Nicole asks, smiling a little. 

Waverly nods, chuckling. “Yeah, that.” 

“T-Thank you,” Nicole whispers, because she really can’t say anything else. It’s a simple thing—trivial, almost— but it’s also one of the most thoughtful gifts she’s ever been given. 

Waverly squeezes her hand. “You know you don’t  _ have  _ to do this, but I think that you might  _ need  _ to.” 

You’re right.” 

“Come on, then,” Waverly says, leading her in by the hand. 

 

“So, I guess we haven’t properly met, Waverly. I’m Hayley.” She extends her hand for a handshake, but Waverly hugs her quickly.

“It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Can I get y’all somethin’?” Hayley asks politely, heading toward the kitchen. Waverly realizes the subtle mix of southern and Canadian accents is present not just in Nicole, but her sister as well. It’s utterly bizarre, yet in such a familiar way that Waverly can’t help but smile. 

Nicole doesn’t respond; she’s locked on to a cluster of photos hanging above the kitchen table. In one, there’s a little boy, maybe three or four, with a head of bright red curls, playing on a swingset. In another, a girl with long dark hair is shooting a basketball while a man who Nicole can only assume must be David, smiles proudly in the background. Above them, Nicole notices a picture of two little girls, both with long red hair, with their arms around each other on a park bench. 

“T-That’s us,” Nicole states, not fully realizing it until she says it out loud. 

Hayley makes her way over to stand next to Nicole while Waverly watches the two of them from a respectable difference. On the one hand, it feels strange to be here; like she’s intruding on a private moment. But on the other, she knows she’s right where she should be, supporting Nicole. 

“You were four, I think,” Hayley says. Nicole doesn’t remember the photo being taken, but Hayley smiles fondly, like she’s recalling a memory. 

“A-And, uh. . .” Nicole gestures to the kids in the pictures below. 

The smile on her sister’s face only grows. “That’s May; she’s eight. And James is five.” 

Nicole looks around at the empty house to ignore the twisting in the pit of her stomach. “Where are they now?” 

“David took them to the park for the day. I didn’t want you to get too overwhelmed; I know it’s probably a bit weird, right?”

Nicole flushes, scratching the back of her neck. “Yeah, it’s been a while.” 

“I haven’t seen you since Dad’s funeral.” 

“Has it really been that long?” Nicole asks, even though she knows it has. But really, what else can she say?

Hayley starts to say something but seems to change her mind last-second. “I wanted to see you before this,  _ way  _ before this. But you never answered my letters.” 

“I never o-opened them, actually,” she admits, wincing slightly. 

Hurt flashes across Hayley’s features for a moment before she regains herself. “Let’s sit down.” 

 

“Should I. . .” Waverly gestures around her, wondering if she should let them be alone. But Nicole folds herself stiffly in a chair at the table, reaching for Waverly’s hand under the table, and chokes out a  _ ‘No.’ _

“Why didn’t you read my letters? Or answer my calls?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I figured it was just pity invites and bullshit ‘how are you?’s and—” 

“If you’d read them, you’d know that they weren’t. Nicole, I’ve been trying for a decade to get you to see me— talk to me. Don’t you want to see me?” 

“Yes! Of course, I want to s-see you. You’re my s-sister, Hayley. But I-I didn’t think you actually wanted to see me other than to maybe tell me to fuck off.” 

“How could you think that?” 

“B-Because I’m the family disappointment. The black sheep. Because I’m the reason M-Mom’s in prison and Dad’s d-dead.” Nicole squeezes her eyes shut tightly, stopping any tears threaten to spill down her cheeks. Waverly squeezes her hand tighter and Nicole’s other hand finds the fidget cube in the pocket of her leather jacket. 

“Nic, you can’t think that was your fault. I literally could not give two fucks about that bag of dicks who called himself a father. And he’s in the ground because Mom put him there; she knew what she was doing.” 

“But she did it to protect me—” 

“Because Dad was a piece of shit who  _ hurt you _ , Nicole. That isn’t your fault; you didn’t ask for that. Mom protected you because that’s what family is  _ supposed to do. _ ” Hayley’s face falls suddenly, her shoulders slumping downward. She rubs her eyes, hoping to get rid of the burning she feels behind them. “ _ I  _ was supposed to protect you.”

Nicole shakes her head. “Hayley, you did what you could.”

“That’s not  _ enough _ , Nicole. I shouldn’t have ever let him do it in the first place.” 

“What could you have done, Hayley? Gone head-to-head with our three-hundred pound, six-foot-five f-father?” 

She laughs dryly. “I don’t know, Nic. But I could’ve done  _ something. _ ”

“You did! You made sure I-I was okay after  _ every _ fight. Every one. Hell, you e-even learned how to stitch wounds for the worst nights.” 

“I could’ve done better— I  _ should’ve  _ done better.” 

Nicole shakes her head. “N-No.” 

Hayley looks up. “What?” 

“You don’t g-get to do that.” Nicole stands up, pulling her hand out of Waverly’s.

Hayley watches her pacing. “What?” 

“Tell me not to blame myself and then turn around and do the  _ same fucking thing! _ ” 

“This is different.” 

“How?” Nicole demands, crossing her arms over her chest. Her entire body is wound so tightly that Waverly has to pat herself on the back for making that massage appointment for Tuesday. 

Hayley runs a hand through her hair, quite similarly to the way Nicole does. “I’m your big sister.” 

“I know, Lee.” Nicole swallows the relieving familiarity of the nickname and places a hand over her sister’s. “But that doesn’t make it your job to be my parent. That was his job, and he failed b-both of us.” 

Hayley sighs, standing up with Nicole. Hesitantly, she wraps her arms around her sister’s shoulders, pulling her into a tight hug. Nicole realizes she’s taller than her by an inch or two and through her tears, she smiles. 

“Since when are you smarter than me?” Hayley asks, flicking Nicole in the ear. 

Nicole ducks her head, flicking Hayley back. “Since always.” 

“Ah, I see.” Hayley chuckles before nodding at Waverly. “Tell me that you haven’t tried to convince your friend that you’re cool or something.” 

The word ‘friend’ punches Nicole in the gut and she knows that it’s time. 

“Uh, a-about that.” Nicole steps away from her sister and toward her girlfriend. Waverly stands up, looking to Nicole for permission. Nicole nods and slips her hand into Waverly’s. “Waverly is my g-girlfriend. . . I’m a lesbian, Hayley.” 

“Okay.” 

“O-Okay?” Nicole’s brow furrows. 

“Okay.” Hayley shrugs, offering her a matter-of-fact smile. “I love you, Nicole. No matter who it is that you love.” 

“I-I love you too,” Nicole says, allowing herself to be pulled into another hug. “I m-missed you.” 

“I missed you too, kid.” Hayley pulls Nicole down to kiss the top of her head, ruffling it after. “David should be back with the kids in a bit. I can tell him to hold off for a bit, if you want.” 

“N-No. I’d like to meet them.” Nicole scratches the back of her neck. “If that’s alright with you.” 

Hayley nods, patting her cheek. “Yeah, of course. They’re gonna love you.” She looks over to Waverly. “I’m going to call him; give you guys a minute.” She grabs her phone off the counter and walks out onto the back patio. 

Nicole wants to fall into Waverly’s arms and kiss her senseless, but a wave of something washes over her. Waverly notices it because Waverly always notices it.    
“What is it?” Waverly asks, making her way over. Nicole’s eyes are pointed at the floor and Waverly cups her face, trying to make eye contact. 

“N-Nothing,” Nicole stammers, shaking her head. “I-It’s just. . . I d-don’t know, Wave. I’m not mad, I’m not. B-But I feel weird. You’ve been talking f-for how long?” 

“Three weeks, give or take,” Waverly sighs. 

Nicole scratches the back of her neck. “H-How did you guys even. . . were you the one who. . . “ 

“I found the letters when I was cleaning, and they had a return address, so I sent one. Then we started emailing and, well, here we are.” Waverly gestures around. 

“Oh.” 

“You said earlier that you aren’t upset, but you know it’s okay if you are.”

Nicole nods. “I know. And I don’t think I am; I know that you only had the best intentions. There’s just a lot happening right now and I need some time to figure out. . . well, all of this.” 

Waverly trails her hands down Nicole’s arms and laces their fingers together. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You sure seem to like that word today,” Waverly giggles. She pushes a strand of red hair behind Nicole’s ear. “But yes. Okay.”

“Okay.”

Is it alright if I stay with you while you figure it out?” 

“Always.” Nicole pulls Waverly into a hug, letting her own body relax against the smaller woman’s. 

“I love you,” Waverly whispers into her neck. 

“I-I. . . I,” Nicole stumbles over herself. 

“Shh,” Waverly brushes her thumb across Nicole’s cheek. “I know.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. The next one should definitely be coming sooner now that I'm out of school for a bit. Thank you for reading, and for your patience. Comments and kudos are appreciated if you feel so inclined. I love all of you, and thank you again. Find me on [tumblr](https://angelhaught.tumblr.com/)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is an on-time update? morgan doesn't know about those.

It’s been a week since they visited her sister. After some discussion, or rather, a lack of it, Waverly and Nicole decided to cut their weekend trip short. Fairly early Saturday morning, they departed from the uniform neighborhood Nicole’s sister resides in and made their way to Wynonna’s to pick up Calamity Jane. Wynonna was less than thrilled that her furry friend was leaving early, but she seemed to notice something off between Waverly and Nicole, and decided not to push it. 

Nicole said she wasn’t mad, and it wasn’t a lie. She’s _wasn’t_. But now? She’s not so sure. Waverly’s actions fractured some of the trust between them, and the tension that it has created is present at the forefront of their interactions. 

When they had first gotten to Hayley’s, the brunette was a security blanket Nicole could hold onto in a place full of things she felt she wasn’t allowed to touch. But after the dust settled, and Nicole eased into a less awkward position at her sister’s house, she gradually drifted away from Waverly. 

The night they got back, Nicole and Waverly slept with enough space between them that CJ was able to curl up between them. Early the next morning, Nicole pulled on her shoes and grabbed Calamity’s leash, and was gone without so much as a good morning kiss. 

Now, a week or so later, it’s become a bit of a routine. It’s not the worst habit she could’ve picked up, she decides. Calamity is loving it, and Nicole is coming to see why people enjoy it. 

 Nicole Haught has never in her life been a runner. Or even that much of a morning person. But here she is, pounding pavement under her athletic shoes at six o’ clock in the morning. The sound of Calamity’s collar tags clacking against each other goes unheard by Nicole, whose earbuds are pulsing heavy guitar riffs and piercing vocals far too loudly.

Maybe it’s not the running itself; maybe it’s the burn in her lungs or the constant of her Nikes thudding dully against the ground. Or, perhaps, it’s the absence of having to interact with anything besides the skip button on her iPod. 

 

* * * * * 

 

Nicole steps into the apartment, shutting the door softly in case Waverly is still asleep. Wiping the sweat off her forehead, she unclips CJ’s leash and pats her head. Waverly peeks her head out of the bedroom, rubbing her eyes sleepily. 

“Nic, is that you?” Waverly yawns. 

Nicole offers a wave from where she stands in the kitchen. “Yup.” 

Waverly yawns again, making her way over and leaning against the counter. “Can I make you some breakfast while you shower?” 

Nicole shrugs. “Nah, I’ll just grab a bagel when I stop for coffee.” She starts to walk toward the bedroom, but Waverly grabs her arm. 

“Babe. . .” Waverly searches for something to say. “Let me make you breakfast. Please.”

Nicole softens, scratching the back of her neck. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” 

Waverly gives her a smile and leans up to kiss Nicole’s cheek. “Do you want your eggs sunny-side up or scrambled?”

“Uh, whatever’s fine.” Nicole hesitantly brushes a hair behind Waverly’s ear. “Thanks, Wave.”

 

* * * * * 

 

“Oh god, Wyn, I really fucked up,” Waverly groans. Her head falls against the table with a dull thud. 

In true Wynonna fashion, the older of the two chuckles at her younger sister. “C’mon, Baby girl, it can’t be that bad.” 

Waverly runs a hand through her hair, tugging at the brown roots. “No. You haven’t been there.”

“Okay, so paint me a picture. What exactly has been going on?” 

Waverly slouches into her hands, balling them into fists beneath her chin. “It’s like she doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s started going for runs at ungodly hours of the morning, I’m assuming to limit the amount of times we cross paths getting ready in the morning. And I’ve kissed her— actually kissed her— twice in the last three days. _Twice,_ Wynonna. But she won’t talk to me or tell me she’s upset or anything.”

Wynonna lets out a low whistle as she shakes her head. “Damn, Haughtstuff isn’t giving you the normal Notebook-eyes? I stand corrected, Wave. You fucked up _big time_.” 

“C’mon, Wynonna, this is serious,” Waverly sighs. “I know that I messed up, but I’ve also heard her talking to her sister on the phone twice this week, and she’s headed back next weekend to see her niece’s dance recital. And I don’t know, shouldn’t that count for something? That I helped make that happen? I feel like—” 

“Waves. You realize you’re making this about you now, don’t you?” Wynonna gives her _that_ look and another wave of guilt makes Waverly’s stomach drop. 

“Am I the actual worst?” 

Wynonna shakes her head. “Nah, Waverly. Never. I know your heart was in the right place; Nicole does too. But you went behind her back. I’m assuming the estrangement from her sister is part of that whole mess of things that made it so hard for her to trust people in the first place, right?”

The back door opens and Alice runs in, followed closely by Dolls. He offers the two women at the kitchen table a smile before chasing after Alice. They're both silent for a moment and hear Alice burst into a fit of giggles when Dolls does something to make her laugh. Wynonna's lips curve up into a content smile and it takes her a minute to regain her train of thought. 

“Given what I know about Nicole and her backstory, trust is probably one of, if not the most, important thing to her. So matter how much you two love each other, it might take a little while for you to gain that trust back.” 

Waverly reorganizes her thoughts. “Okay. But it’s like she keeps _almost_ telling me that she’s upset, but then she backs out last minute. It’s like she’s worried that I’ll be mad that she’s hurt.” 

“Well, Nicole hasn’t exactly had stability with the people she cares about. Her dad’s gone, her mom’s in the slammer, Dolls and her only rekindled their friendship a few months ago and she’s just now starting to get close to her sister.” Wynonna takes a drink of her beer.

“I know that, I do. But I’m not going anywhere, ever.”

“But does _she_ know that, Wave?” Wynonna asks. 

“I. . .” _Oh._ Waverly gets it now. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

Wynonna shrugs and sips her drink again. “So show her. Make sure she knows you’re not leaving and make sure she knows you love her. And be patient with her. God knows the Earps aren't good at that.”

“Okay. Okay, I will.” Waverly nods before checking her phone. “Oh, shit. I gotta go.” 

“Bye, Baby girl.” Wynonna stands up to give her sister a hug and kisses her on the cheek, “I love you.”  
“I love you too, Wyn. Thank you,” Waverly says. 

 

* * * * *  

 

Nicole loops her arm through the handles of the to-go bag, shoving her hands in her pockets as she trudges up the sidewalk that leads to Waverly’s building. Raindrops drizzle down around her, soaking into the cotton of her Oxford and rolling down the exposed skin of her neck, face and forearms. She rolls her eyes, wondering why she thought straightening her hair would be a good idea. 

Her and Waverly are supposed to have lunch, but the buildings on the campus require ID cards to get in. Nicole stands under the shallow awning that barely keeps her head dry and pulls out her phone to text Waverly. Instead, she finds an unread message from said person. 

**_Waverly Earp [11:59AM]: I’m so sorry! Got caught up in a last minute meeting and can’t do lunch. See you at home. <3_ **

**_Nicole Haught [12:15PM]: Ok._ **

Nicole Haught is rarely one to waste food, but the lunch she brought finds its way into a nearby trash can. She’s got her glasses on today and they’re starting to fog up from the rain. Her head is bowed so low that she plows into some poor, frazzled freshman carrying an over-the-shoulder canvas bag filled to the brim with stuff. Papers spill out onto the pavement and textbooks hit the ground loud enough Nicole swears she can feel them. (Though, that may just be the raging headache pounding the inside of her skull.)

“Fucking hell, I am so sorry!” Nicole rushes out, leaning down to help pick up books. 

“N-No worries,” the girl says, collecting the scattered papers. “I did laminate my notes for a reason.” 

Nicole pushes the stack of books into the girl’s hands and runs one of her own through her curling hair. “Right. Sorry. I’m sorry.” Nicole shoves her hands back in her pockets and ducks her head again, dragging her feet so heavy on the pavement her wingtips probably will probably be scuffed. 

 

* * * * * 

 

“That’s it, CJ.” Nicole closes her laptop with a sigh. “I did it. I actually did it.” She almost feels guilty. No, she _definitely_ feels guilty. But should she? This is gonna be good for her and, hopefully, good for them. She started filling everything out a few days after they got back, but it's taken her nearly two weeks to gain the courage to send it in. 

Nicole slides her laptop onto the cushions above her and leans into the bottom of the couch. Calamity is lying across her legs, head resting in Nicole’s lap. She scratches at CJ’s ears and leans down to hug the dog. But it’s not enough. She’s holding on to something solid but it feels like everything is slipping through her fingers. Something wells up in her and before she fully registers it there are tears streaming down her face. Her glasses are tossed to the floor and she runs her hands down her face. 

Her throat and her chest feels tight and she can’t here anything besides the ‘what if’s bouncing through her head. What if Waverly isn’t happy or excited? What if this whole thing was stupid and Nicole is just a fucking idiot to think any of this would work? What if she’s doing it for the wrong reasons and she’ll regret it or Waverly won’t understand? But Waverly always understands, doesn’t she?

Waverly walks through the door a few minutes later with a bag full of Chinese and a bouquet of roses. Nicole is still sitting on the floor, cradling her head in her hands while shudders wrack her body. Waverly sets the stuff on the table and drops to her knees in front of Nicole, letting her hands fall on Nicole’s. 

“Hey, Baby. Nicole.” Waverly cups Nicole’s face. “C’mon. Breathe. Look at me. Look at me, and breathe.” 

So she does. After a few minutes, Nicole’s regulated her breathing and the pounding in her head isn’t so loud. 

“W-Wave,” Nicole whispers. 

Waverly squeezes her hands. “What, Baby?” 

Nicole takes a deep breath. “It. . . n-never mind.” 

“No,” Waverly pushes. “Nic, I know that you’re upset. I know that you’re hurt and you’re scared, but I can’t _do anything_ to fix it if you don’t tell me how you feel.” 

“I-I know that you had good intentions when you reached out to my sister, I _know._ And you don’t even know how h-happy I am to have her in my life again. But, Wave, it _hurt so m-much._ You went behind my back and lied and it _hurt_ , Waverly. Why couldn’t you just talk to m-me?” 

“Because, Nicole. I listened to the way that you talked about her. You were never going to forgive yourself unless you heard it from her. Hell, I’m not even sure you forgive yourself _after_ hearing it from her.”

“But W-Waverly, you’re not supposed to lie to me! And you’re supposed to _help me_ make the choice, not do it for me. It wasn’t your place to make me see Hayley.” Nicole’s hands start to retreat off of Waverly’s, but the brunette only hangs on tighter.

“I know. I know. I know that it wasn’t okay and I know I overstepped. It doesn’t matter what my intentions were, I hurt you. And I am so sorry.” Waverly leans down, pressing her lips against Nicole’s hands. “I’m so sorry.” 

Nicole lets herself fall into Waverly just a little bit more. “I-I know you are.” 

“I love you so much and I’m so sorry.” Waverly’s hands move to the base of Nicole’s neck. “I promise, never again.” 

“Okay.” Nicole shifts on the floor so that Waverly’s a little closer to her. 

Waverly’s eyes flit upward. “Okay?” 

A small smile graces Nicole’s tear-streaked face. “Okay.” 

“C’mere,” Waverly says. She kisses Nicole’s forehead and hugs her tightly. “I love you.” 

Nicole worms out of her grip after a moment. “A-As long as we’re being honest, I have to tell you something.” 

“What’s up? Is everything okay?” Waverly’s eyes flash with concern and she squeezes Nicole’s arm.” 

“I, uh, I s-sent in my registration before you got home.” 

“Registration? For what?” 

“To get my d-doctorate.” Nicole scratches the back of her neck. 

“What do you need. . .” Waverly’s face lights up. “Wait, Nic, so you can teach college classes?” 

“I already talked to the head of photography at Purgatory University; she’s gonna let me work as a TA while I’m taking classes.”

“Oh my god, Baby, I’m so happy for you!” Waverly kisses Nicole excitedly, her eyes looking more brown in the soft light of the living room. Nicole’s are almost golden, like honey. 

“Y-You’re not mad?” Nicole asks. 

Waverly looks at her incredulously. “Why on earth would I be mad?” 

“I don’t know.” Nicole shrugs. “I just thought maybe you’d think it was a stupid idea or think I’m an idiot for wanting to do this.” 

“No, of course not,” Waverly assures Nicole, kissing her again. “Though, I’m curious. What made you decide to do it?” 

“The print job was never supposed to be permanent. It’s good experience and I didn’t mind the work, but after a while, it’s all the same. I’ve always wanted to be in a place where I get to help people _and_ explore new areas, you know?” Waverly nods and Nicole’s eyes land on something across that room that Waverly can’t identify. “And, uh. . .Do you remember what I told your sister at dinner the night you introduced us?” 

Waverly’s eyes go wide as another smile graces her lips. “Yeah. . .” 

Nicole attempts to scratch the flush off her neck and her bashfulness only makes Waverly smile harder. “W-Well, that’s the other reason. Because, on the off-chance you wanna be with me for a while, I don’t wanna be working at a job that isn’t going to have stability.”

“God, you still don’t get it, do you?” Waverly laughs, shaking her head. “Nicole Haught, I wanna be with you for _longer_ than a while.” She holds Nicole’s face in her hands again as an even deeper blush paints Nicole’s face. 

“I-I wanna be with you for longer than a while too.” Nicole smiles shyly, ducking her head. Waverly uses her thumb to lift Nicole’s chin, making Nicole lock eyes with her. She kisses the redhead softly and allows herself to sink into Nicole.

A few minutes later, Waverly says, "You said one of your reasons to go back to school was because of us; because of the future—  _our_ future. So why did you register while you were upset with me?" 

Nicole shrugs. "Because, despite what my brain tries to tell me sometimes, I knew we were gonna be okay. Couples fight. It's normal. You're gonna mess up and I'm gonna mess up, but we're gonna do our best and get through it together. 'Cause you're it for me, Waverly Earp. I, uh, I l-love you. I love you." 

Waverly stares at her in astonishment. The kind of person Nicole is never ceases to amaze her. She has all of the circumstances and all of the reasons to let everything bad that's happened to her make her bitter and angry and cold. But she's not. She's warm, the warmest person Waverly's ever met. And she's strong and she's forgiving and even though Waverly tested their trust, Nicole believes in Waverly as much as Waverly believes in Nicole. "I love you too." 

Nicole's eyes are soft and the corners of her mouth have forced their way upward into a smile. “Is it weird to say I missed you these past couple weeks, even though you were here the whole time?” 

“Not at all. I missed you a lot. Like _a lot_ , a lot.”

"Mmm," Nicole grins. "Well, I love you _a lot_ , a lot." 

"God, I can't believe I finally get to hear you say that." 

Nicole hugs Waverly tighter. "I'm sorry it took me so long to say it." 

"Don't apologize." Waverly looks up at her, an amused look in her eye. "You've taught an Earp a thing or two about patience. Not an easy feat, my dear." 

Nicole chuckles. "Yeah, well you've taught me quite a bit too, Professor." She stands up suddenly and pulls Waverly with her, pulling a gasp from the smaller woman. Waverly giggles as Nicole grabs the back of her thighs and picks her up. She starts carrying Waverly to their room. She stops abruptly in the doorway and Waverly removes her lips off of Nicole’s neck. 

“Wait, I just. . .” Nicole flushes again. “Is this okay?” 

Waverly sighs, amused, but she gives Nicole a deadly serious look. “Nicole Haught, I love you to death, but so help me, if you do not—” 

Nicole cuts her off with a kiss as she kicks the bedroom door closed. “Damn, I love you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> couple things: 1. i've kinda given up on the flashbacks because i feel like they aren't as relevant now that pretty much all of nicole's backstory is known. 2. i gave you a lil angst, but y'all know i had to get that fluff in at the end because i can't have my babes mad at each other. 3. i'm literally so fucking tired y'all already know this ain't edited. 4. it's only now occurring to me that there's only a few chapters left of this story and i'm a strange mix of sad and proud. 5. i stayed up till 6am this morning and woke up before 10 and was gone pretty much all day and now it's midnight and i have to be up early tomorrow hhhhhh what is sleep?  
> have a nice day, everyone. comments and kudos are cool because i need validation. thanks y'all


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CAN'T FUCKING UPDATE ON TIME I'M SORRY

“You know what I just realized?” Nicole’s head falls to the side in a puppy-ish way as she watches the road stretching out in front of her. 

“Hmm?” Waverly responds from the passenger seat. They’ve only been driving for a little while, but Waverly’s eyelids feel heavy. 

“When we went to visit my sister the first time. . . that was the first time you left the Ghost River Triangle, wasn’t it?” Nicole’s bottom lip snags between her teeth as she squints at the sun in front of her. It’s only the third time they’ve been to her sister’s, but they’ve been Skyping almost daily, and Hayley has plans to come out to their place when the kids get out of school. 

“Here.” Waverly hands Nicole a pair of aviators from the console. 

“Thanks, Baby.” 

Waverly settles back into her spot, angling herself toward Nicole and resting her back more toward the window. “Of course. But, yeah, you’re right. I was thinking about that the other day. I guess that’s a good a reason as any.” 

Now that her eyes are hidden, the only indication of distaste Nicole gives Waverly is the way her nose crinkles. “But you did that for me.” 

“And?” Waverly’s eyes are closed now, but she’s still attentive to the woman driving. She doesn’t want to fall asleep because then Nicole won’t have anyone to talk to, but she finished her coffee before they even got out of town and the caffeine has since worn off. She hears Nicole sigh next to her and Waverly blindly searches for her hand. Nicole notices and laces their fingers together, resting them on the console. 

“I don’t know. . . it should be for you.” Nicole is silent for a long moment and Waverly opens one of her eyes to steal a glance at her. “I wanna take you somewhere. Soon. And maybe one day, we could road trip. I could show you New York and where I used to live in Texas. And I’ll take you to California—Definitely San Francisco— and then you’ll have seen the Atlantic and the Pacific. And then when we run out of places to roadtrip to we can go to Europe and. . .” Nicole realizes she’s rambling. “Sorry. I just, I want to take you everywhere.” 

Waverly, pulled out of her sleepy lull, gives Nicole a hazy smile and squeezes her hand. “And I’d love to go anywhere with you.” 

Nicole smiles to herself as her face flushes. “I love you.” 

“And I love you,” Waverly replies, but the end of the sentence lilts as she yawns. 

“Aww, is someone sleepy?” Nicole chuckles. 

Waverly opens her mouth to protest, but another yawn escapes. “I’m not a morning person.” 

Nicole snorts, “It’s five o’ clock in the afternoon, Wave.”

“Whatever. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay; I know you had a long week. Go to sleep, Babe.” 

“But you—” 

“Have a playlist that will keep me _plenty_ occupied for a couple hours.” Nicole grabs her phone without taking her eyes off the road, shaking it toward Waverly. “Nineteen hours, three-hundred songs. I’ll be alright.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Nicole glances at Waverly out of the corner of her eye and offers her a soft smile. “Please, my love. Get some rest.” 

Waverly sighs and Nicole’s smile grows wider because they both know she’s won. The brunette points a demanding finger at her girlfriend. “Okay, but you’d better wake me up way before we get to Edmonton.” 

“We’ve still got like three more hours. I’ll wake you up in an hour and a half or so.” 

“Thank you, Baby.” Waverly mumbles, leaning against the car door and letting their intertwined hands fall into her lap. A few moments later, Nicole starts singing quietly to the music playing through the speakers, and Waverly lets the softness and warmth of her voice wrap around her like a blanket as she drifts into sleep.

 

* * * * * 

 

“Wave, wake up.” Nicole squeezes Waverly’s knee, shaking her awake gently. “Babe.”

Waverly opens her eyes to see Nicole peering over at her. 

“Hey, darlin’, we’re here.” Nicole unbuckles her seatbelt, prompting Waverly to do the same. 

“What? You were supposed to wake me up an hour ago!” Waverly huffs at her. 

“I know, I know. But you kinda just zonked out and you looked really cute and I knew you needed the sleep.” Nicole offers an apologetic smile, but she knows Waverly isn’t mad. Not when she just had a nap _that_ good. 

“Cole! Cole!” James comes running out of the house, nearly smacking his face into Nicole’s car as he screeches to a stop in front of the driver’s side door. “Mommy, Cole is  here!” 

A grin splits Nicole’s face as she pulls herself out of the car. James jumps on her and Nicole groans dramatically, picking him up and ruffling his stark red curls with her hand. “James! How are you, Bud?” 

“Nicole! Waverly!” David comes walking out of the house in that “arms-out-in-a-T” position that Nicole can only describe as a dad pose. Hayley follows with May trailing slowly behind her. May hasn’t exactly warmed up to Nicole the same way James has. Nicole gets it; going eight years without meeting your aunt is bound to cause some skepticism. Hayley says it’s just because she’s shy. (Nicole also understands that with perfect clarity.) Nicole receives a side-hug from David and he intercepts James from her so she can hug her sister. 

“Hey, Lee,” Nicole greets, pulling her sister into a hug. Out of the corner of her eye, Nicole sees James rushing over to Waverly and starting to talk to her. 

“Hey, Nic. How are you?” Hayley asks, pulling back to look at Nicole. 

“Hungry. But I’m good; I’m happy to be here.” 

Hayley smiles at her. “I’m happy you’re here too. And dinner should be ready soon. In fact, I should probably go check the grill. Y’all can hang out with the kids while we go finish dinner.”

“Sounds great. Thanks, Hayley,” Nicole says, touching her arm.

 

 

Easy conversation weaves through dinner as they all eat. Hayley’s so excited because she bought veggie burgers for Waverly, and Waverly returns the enthusiasm by letting her know she got the good kind. They’re all laughing and talking and James keeps giggling when Waverly makes funny faces at him from across the table. Nicole is silent for a long time, watching everyone and feeling a kind warmth in her chest. 

“Nic.” Waverly touches her hand. “You alright? You spaced out for a bit.” 

Nicole nods in affirmation. “I’m great. Really great.” 

And she is. 

 

* * * * * 

 

The sun has barely crept above the horizon line when a thudding outside the house pulls Nicole from her dreamless sleep. Her immediate reaction is to curl further into her girlfriend, who’s still asleep, and tuck her head into Waverly’s neck. But when the pounding continues for several more minutes, she slips out of Waverly’s arm and pads into the kitchen. She finds David sitting at the kitchen island with a mug of coffee. His gaze is fixed on the window, but he notices her out of the corner of his eye and grabs another mug off the wrack next to him. 

“You an early bird too?” David fills the cup and slides it across the counter toward Nicole. 

“Thanks.” She takes it gratefully and sips from it. “And, yeah, I guess so. What’s that noise?” 

“Oh, that’s May.” David gestures out the window. May lobs a basketball at the rim, and watches in disappointment as it bounces off the rim and falls by her feet. “She’s been doing this almost every day for the last couple weeks. They’re doing a summer basketball camp when school lets out, but she’s really nervous. May’s in third grade right now, but most of the kids at the camp are current fourth graders. I think she’s nervous.” 

“I get it. You been helpin’ her or anything?” 

David sighs. “I’m not much of an athlete. In fact, _she_ showed _me_ the proper way to hold a basketball the other day. Hey, maybe you could help her out. You were quite the point guard back in the day.” 

“I don’t think May is lookin’ for much from me.” Nicole scratches the back of her neck. 

David shakes his head. “Ah, Nicole, she’ll come around, I promise.” 

Hayley has made her way into the kitchen, watching them from the doorway. She throws an arm over Nicole’s shoulder and steals a sip of david’s coffee. “She’s shy. But once y’all warm up to each other, she’s gonna love you like crazy. Kinda reminds me of you, Nic.” 

“Alright, let me get my shoes.” Nicole downs the rest of her coffee and makes her way to the door. 

There’s a morning chill in the air that pricks at her legs where the shorts don’t cover. May must’ve heard the door open and close, because she picks up the ball and stares intently at Nicole. 

“Uh, hey, May.” Nicole offers the younger girl a fist, which May hesitantly bumps with her own. 

“Hi.” May’s eyes are glued to the basketball; her eyes trace the letters of the logo stamped on the leather. 

“Your dad tells me you’re going to a basketball camp when school gets out. You excited?” 

May shrugs. “I guess.” 

Nicole cocks her head, confused, and pushes up the sleeves of her hoodie. “You guess? Your dad said you love basketball.” 

“I do. I’m just not very good,” May sighs, running her finger along the lines of the ball. Nicole realizes that those are the most words May’s ever said to her at once. 

“That’s okay. I wasn’t very good when I first started.” 

“You play basketball?” 

“In middle and high school.” Nicole points to the block letters spelling out ‘NYU’ on her hoodie. “And college.” 

May’s face lights up, and she starts spinning the ball around in her hands. “That’s so cool!” 

Nicole grins at the small girl, slowly moving toward her. She places her hands on the ball, righting it in May’s grip. “You know, maybe I could show you a couple things. Would that be cool with you?” 

She’s silent for a long time. After several minutes, or, maybe just really long moments, May wordlessly pushes the ball into Nicole’s hands, and waits. 

 

* * * * * 

 

“How long have they been out there?” Waverly asks as she sips her cup of coffee. She wasn’t thrilled to find her girlfriend missing from her arms when she woke up this morning, but the annoyance died immediately when she saw Nicole out in the driveway with her niece. 

“Two hours, give or take,” David replies. He’s seated on the couch next to Hayley. James, somehow, is still asleep. 

Waverly sits cross-legged on the floor in front of the chair. Normally, this would be how she sits with Calamity Jane, but they decided to leave her at home. They brought her the last time, and she was great, but Nicole figured she’d be alright. And Wynonna was jumping at the opportunity to house her new best friend for a couple days. 

“I knew Nicole played, but I’ve never actually seen her play,” Waverly comments, watching in awe at the total control Nicole has as she takes a jump shot from the three-point line. 

“I used to go to all her games, because our parents never would. I don’t think Nicole ever knew, though. After her first few games went by and neither of them showed, she stopped looking any of our faces in the crowd.” Hayley takes a deep breath and David reaches for her hand to comfort. 

Waverly almost feels like she’s intruding on a private moment. She clears her throat and tries to think of something to say, but no words leave her mouth. Finally, she settles on, “I don’t think she knew, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it if she did.” 

David kisses his wife on the cheek and stands up. “I’m gonna go check on James.” 

Hayley nods at him and he gives Waverly a kind smile before disappearing down the hallway. 

Hayley looks out the window again. “Can I ask you something, Waverly?” 

“Go for it.” 

“This is probably the cliche, older-sister thing to ask, but what exactly do you want with my sister?” 

Waverly looks out at Nicole, who’s got a cheek-splitting smile on her face as she watches May throw up a shot. It teeters on the rim and finally falls through the hoop. Waverly’s eyes make their way back to Hayley, who’s staring intently at her. Waverly knows for a fact that Wynonna asked Nicole this very question a few weeks ago.She was cleaning up the table in the next room and didn’t really _mean_ to listen, but what can she say? Nicole’s voice draws her in. _‘Whatever she wants from me’_ Nicole had said. 

“Honestly, Hayley? I want to keep making her happy. I don’t know exactly what that will entail, but I love her. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. And she loves me back. I’m not going to mess that up, ever.” 

Hayley doesn’t respond, but she stands up and hugs Waverly tightly. 

“Uh, did we walk in on something?” Nicole’s laughter rings through the air and Waverly lets go of Hayley to look at her girlfriend. She’s sweaty and the sleeves of her sweatshirt have been pushed up just about as far as they can go. May stands next to her, holding a basketball and smiling widely. 

Hayley makes her way over and throws an arm over Nicole’s shoulder, before removing it when she realizes how sweaty her sister is. “Ah, just a little older-sister talk. Nothing too crazy.” 

Nicole rolls her eyes and wraps an arm around Waverly’s waist. “Hope she didn’t scare you off.” There’s a tone of playfulness in Nicole’s voice, but Waverly is deadly serious even as she responds with a smile on her face. 

“Never.” 

“Mommy, Cole fixed my shooting and now I can do a jump shot! And I can almost do a layup! Cole is so good at basketball” 

Hayley pulls her daughter into her side and looks over at Nicole. “Is that so?” 

Nicole shrugs. “She’s exaggerating.” 

“And you’re being modest, love.” Waverly tugs on Nicole’s hand. 

“Well, either way, is there something you wanna tell your aunt?” Hayley asks her daughter. 

“Thanks, Cole.”

Nicole grins, holding her fist out for May to bump against her own. “Course, kiddo.” 

“Okay, now go. Take a shower. Before you stink up my living room.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nicole salutes her sister and pulls Waverly down the hallway to the guest room. 

 

Waverly watches from the bed as Nicole sifts through the clothes in her bag. Waverly spots two brightly colored button-downs and something made of sweater material. Nicole must feel her stare, because she hums out a “What’s up?” without even looking up at Waverly.

“Hmm? Nothing.” 

Nicole does look up now as a chuckle falls from her lips. “My love, if you think I can’t feel the ‘something’s-on-your-mind’ stare, you are sorely mistaken. Come on, talk to me, please.” 

Waverly sighs. “I don’t know, Babe. I’m just. . . I’m really proud of you, okay? Fuck, Nic, I’m so proud of you. Watching you outside with your niece and then with your sister? Like you don’t even know. I’m _so_ proud of you and I love you _so_ fucking much.”

“God, I love you.” Nicole wraps her arms around Waverly and hugs her tightly. Waverly giggles into the fabric of Nicole’s sweatshirt. She smells like sweat, but Waverly doesn’t care enough to pull away. They stay like that for a while. 

“What’s wrong, Nic?” 

“Why would you think there’s something wrong?” 

“Your heartbeat is right by my ear and it started to speed up a minute ago. That means you’re either nervous about the situation you’re in right now, or you’re thinking about something that’s making you nervous. Given the fact that we’re girlfriends who have been dating for nearly ten months and hug each other, and more, for long periods of time pretty frequently, you’re probably not nervous about this position right now. Which means you’re nervous because you’re think—”

“I think I want to go visit my mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the fuck even is editing? 
> 
> next chapter's gettin emotional, but i want my baby nicole to be happy.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all, i know this took a while, but i wanted to get it right. i think that i might have just done it.
> 
> enjoy, loves. thank you.

Nicole’s practically been buzzing with nerves since the prison came into sight. She read article after article and nearly memorized the prison’s whole website before they made the trip, but no amount of research can quite capture the feeling of going to see your mother, who was convicted of murdering your abusive father in front of you, for the first time in ten years. 

Security, no matter where she is, has always made Nicole anxious. The fact that it’s a prison makes it a bit worse. It’s not that she has anything to hide, but people of any kind with guns make her uneasy. Rightfully so, she supposes. 

They make it through all of the metal detectors and paperwork and before she knows it, they’re being led to a room filled with square tables and women in khaki sitting at them. There are a few vending machines off to the side, one of which is being shaken by two little kids. Nicole’s eyes fall to the floor, but she forces her eyes up when she nearly runs into a table. Her mind races as it thinks up a million things that could go wrong in this moment. But then Waverly reaches for her arm and she manages to think of at least one thing that could go right.

Nicole nearly trips over her own feet, but Waverly keeps her steady as they make it to the table. The guard walks away before Nicole can tell him thank you. (Maybe it’s better, though. She’s not sure she’d be able to speak anyway.) 

Per the rules sheet, Nicole is allowed to hug her mom at the beginning of the visit, but when Heidi makes her way into the room, Nicole makes no move to stand up. Her mother sits down across from her and Nicole scratches at her throat. Like clockwork, Waverly leans over and loosens Nicole’s tie ever so slightly. 

Heidi Haught looks so much older than the last time Nicole saw her. Which makes sense, given the fact that it’s been ten years. There’s more weight to her, though; her eyes look much more melancholic than they used to. “Hey, honey.” 

“H-Hi, Mom,” Nicole manages to get out. Some of the weight leaves her mother’s face. 

“Oh, Nicole. It’s been so long.” Heidi’s eyes start to gloss over and Nicole has to look away. Heidi’s eyes are deep brown, like Nicole’s, but darker. Her hair was once probably a similar bright copper, but now it’s more of a fading auburn with streaks of grey. “Who’s this?” 

Nicole wishes she could’ve brought in her camera or her fidget cube; she needs _something._ Waverly notices her leg bouncing under the table and laces their fingers together under the table. Nicole looks over to her gratefully, managing a smile.  “This is Waverly. My girlfriend.”

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Waverly. I apologize that it has to be in this setting.” 

Waverly starts to stick her hand out for Heidi to shake, only to remember that it isn’t allowed. She retracts it quickly and places it on top of her and Nicole’s entwined fingers. “Right, sorry. Uh, it’s nice to meet you too, ma’am.” 

“How are you?” Heidi asks. Her hands are clenched together, wringing against each other not dissimilarly to the way Nicole fidgets when she’s uncomfortable. 

“Um, I’m good.” The way Nicole says it seems like she’s surprising herself. But it’s true. She’s got Waverly and she’s going back to school and she’s _great._ “I’m really good, actually.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” 

Small talk weaves stiffly into the space between them as they try to do some kind of catching up. Every few minutes, Waverly squeezes Nicole’s hand out of reassurance. When she does, Nicole is reminded that it’s okay. That she’s okay. 

Something is gnawing at her, though. Seeing how happy her merely being here makes her mother opens a floodgate of guilt that she can feel filling up her lungs. Waverly somehow senses it and stands up from the table. 

“Why don’t I go get some stuff from the vending machines, yeah?” Waverly looks to Nicole for the okay, and the redhead nods. Waverly leans down and ghosts her lips over Nicole’s ear, breathing out an ‘I love you’. She presses a long kiss against Nicole’s temple, and she’s not sure if it’s allowed, but she doesn’t care. Nicole squeezes her hand a final time before Waverly leaves her alone with her mom. 

“What’s on your mind, kid?” 

Nicole looks up, eyes going wide. She scratches the back of her neck and a flush creeps over her skin. “N-Nothing.” 

Heidi scoffs. “Please. I know it’s been a while, but you’re still my daughter. And you have more tells than you realize.” 

Nicole takes a deep breath and starts picking at the seam on the side of her jeans. “I-I’m sorry. I’m the reason you’re in here, and I didn’t e-even have the decency to come visit for t-ten goddamn years. I’m so, so sorry, Mom.” 

“Nicole Rayleigh Haught, I thought you were smarter than that,” Heidi sighs. “Girl, I’m in here because I took a Mossberg, pointed it at that sorry excuse for a man, and pulled the trigger.” 

“I-I know. I was th-there.” Nicole flinches at her words. She was there and she remembers all of it. 

_“I’m sorry, Nicole,” she says, and then her hands grip the gun more firmly and Nicole looks away just before a two gunshots pierce the air. There’s a thud as he hits the floor and a scream that might be Nicole’s and then it’s deafeningly silent._

“I’m sorry you had to be there for it,” Heidi says, and she means it. Nicole was never meant to be there when it happened. 

Nicole tenses and starts to collapse into herself as more memories play through her mind. _Red and blue lights blind Nicole and she crumples into a ball onto the floor. Her mother is just sitting there, waiting. The gun has been cast aside, taunting Nicole from where it sits on the kitchen island. It seemed so heavy when she took it away from her mom; Nicole doesn’t know how it hasn’t cracked the granite yet._

“Why’d you d-do it, Mom? You watched him hurt me for years and did _nothing_. Why did you have to go and do that thr-three weeks before I was supposed to get out of there for good?” 

“Jesus, I should’ve done it years before I did. The first time I saw the bruises or heard the crying. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

Nicole shakes her head. “N-No. No, I-I get it. I’ve been through this w-with Hayley. I don’t care that you didn’t do anything all those years. I _care_ that just when I was about to put an end to all of it by l-leaving, you took away b-both of my parents in the same night.” 

Heidi sighs. “God, you’re much more forgiving than I could be. I don’t know where you got that from, girl.” 

All this time she’s been so afraid to see her and get answers, but now she can’t stop.  She has to know. Nicole braces herself. “That doesn’t answer my question, Mom. Why’d you do it?” 

“When you were out with Xavier, I found your father in the living room. That shotgun. . . I took it from him. He was, well, he was waiting, Nicole. He was waiting for you.”

Nicole’s eyes are impossibly wide. “I-I. . . I don’t u-understand.” But she does. She does and she wishes that she doesn’t. Suddenly the room feels much to small and her tie is still too tight and _where the hell is Waverly?_

Heidi’s eyes are back to the weighted brown they were when Nicole first saw her. Like coffee that’s gone cold on the counter, waiting for someone who isn’t coming back to finish it. “He was going to kill you, Nicole. I couldn’t let him. I couldn’t call the cops; you know he was buddy-buddy with the chief. I couldn’t text you not to come home because I knew if I took my eyes off him he’d bolt. There wasn’t any other option.” 

Some kind of dam breaks in Nicole and gunshots replay over and over again and she realizes how easily it could’ve been her. How she could be dead. Her own father would’ve shot her, no hesitation, and she’d never have gotten to live any of this. He would’ve won. She wouldn’t have gone to college or gotten to do what she loves. She never would’ve become comfortable with herself or gotten close to her sister. She never would’ve reunited with Dolls or made new friends in Jeremy and Robin and Wynonna. She never would’ve fallen in love or met Waverly. 

_Waverly._

The thought of her name alone flips Nicole’s spiral on its head. 

He didn’t win. She went to college and worked and now she’s going back. She’s starting to love herself, with a little help. Her sister is coming to their apartment next week. The week after that, the whole gang is having a game night at Dolls and Wynonna’s. 

 _And Waverly_ . Waverly’s arms are wrapped around her and the brunette is whispering soft words into her ear. _I love you,_ she whispers, almost too soft for Nicole to hear. 

No, he _didn’t_ win. And Nicole is done letting herself believe that he did. 

 

  
The walk back to the car is nearly silent, save for Waverly’s breathy humming evaporating into the afternoon air. Her head rests on Nicole’s shoulder as she tries to stay in stride with the taller woman. Nicole notices her effort and slows her pace for Waverly. 

“How are you feeling?” Waverly asks as they reach the car. 

Nicole lets out a long breath when she plops into the driver’s seat. Her hands tap rhythmically against the steering wheel while she tries to formulate a response. Nicole had hugged her mother when they left, and promised she’d be back to visit soon. And she meant it. “Considering I just found out my own d-dad wanted to kill me and that’s why my mom killed him? Pretty good, actually.” 

Waverly is quiet for a long time, leaving Nicole to fill up the space with thoughts about today. Hearing her dad’s plans from that night hadn’t exactly been surprising, but it hurt nonetheless. She’s glad she came, though. In some twisted way, it’s almost closure. 

“So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” Waverly starts. She’s turned toward Nicole in the passenger seat; Nicole can feel her eyes boring into the side of her head, and it makes her face heat up with a deep blush. She’s not exactly nervous, but she also doesn’t trust herself to speak. So she waits for Waverly to continue. “I wanted to do some research before I talked to you about it, but I think learning what we did today, now’s as good a time as any. And obviously, there’s _no_ pressure. At all. I just thought maybe it’d be—” 

“Wave. I’m gonna need you to spit it out before I get freaked out.” 

“Right, right. Sorry, there’s no need to freak out. I just, I’ve been thinking. What would you think about maybe going to see a therapist or a counselor or some kind of help? I mean, I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but I’ve been reading a lot, and it sounds like therapy can be pretty beneficial to a lot of people with similar backgrounds to you. I mean, I know I’m kind of the first person you’ve ever really given the full story too, and I know that helped you a lot, and I don't want you to stop talking to me, but I also think that maybe this could help you let go of some of that fear and whatnot. And I’ve been talking for a while and the look on your face is telling me that you totally hate this idea, so jump in anytime, Nicole.” 

“I don’t hate it. At all. In fact, I think it’s a good idea. I’ve thought about it before, but I always thought I was being kind of stupid. But I think you’re right. It might be good to talk to someone who could provide some kind of professional advice.” Nicole looks over to Waverly, whose eyes are so bright they could quite possibly be lighting up the whole car right now. 

“Really? I’m not totally off the wall here?”

 “Not at all.” Nicole shakes her head. “But, uh, Waves? Thank you. For doing all this. For caring that much.” 

“You don’t need to thank me. I love you, Nicole Haught.” 

“I love you too, Waverly Earp.” 

 

* * * * * 

 

On the way home, Nicole finds herself driving through the place where she grew up. It’s almost exactly the same; a paper town full of paper houses and paper people. It’s on the best route to and from Edmonton; they’ve just been making a conscious effort to go a different way so they didn't have to drive through it every time they go to see Nicole’s sister. Until now. 

She’s not entirely sure why she thought she’d be fine. This place is at the heart of most of her trauma. Her hands are shaking so badly against the steering wheel her knuckles have turned white from trying to hang on. 

“Baby.” Waverly lays a hand on Nicole’s leg. “Pull over. I’ll drive, okay?” 

Nicole nods, steels herself, and pulls off to the side of the road. It’s a mostly deserted street. They’re in front of the cemetery; the very one where her father is buried. She feels the panic bubbling up inside of her, sticky like syrup, as she forces herself out of the driver’s seat. She barely manages to stand up before she has to lean against the hood for support. Waverly’s at her side in an instant, holding on to her waist and telling her to breathe. 

“Nicole, it’s okay. He’s gone, Baby. He’s gone.” Waverly hugs her girlfriend tightly and undoes the top two buttons on Nicole’s shirt to help her slow her breathing. Her tie is long gone; it lies discarded in the backseat. She murmurs calming words into Nicole’s ear. _Breathe. No one’s gonna hurt you._

“I think I’m al—alright,” Nicole mumbles, taking another deep breath. 

Waverly looks around. “Babe, do you think it might help? To see him? I mean, you got closure of sorts with your mom. Why not do the same with him?” 

“Maybe? Logically, I-I know he’s gone, but. . .” 

“It’s like with his funeral, right? You need to see it to believe it.” Waverly speaks softly, but surely.

Nicole’s gaze falls to her feet as she gives an almost imperceptible nod. “Y-Yeah. It’s stupid.” 

Waverly grazes Nicole’s arm with her fingers. “Hey, stop it.” 

“Okay.”

Waverly walks over to the driver’s side, retrieves Nicole’s keys and locks the car. “C’mon, then,” Waverly prompts softly. “If you want to.” 

Nicole takes Waverly’s hand and allows herself to be led onto the path. There are rows upon rows of headstones. Most are marked, a few aren’t. Nicole’s Vans drag on the path, scraping against gravel far too loudly for Nicole. She flinches; her own feet sound so loud. Waverly tightens her grip on Nicole’s hand and makes a conscious effort to lighten her own footsteps. 

“You doing okay?” 

“He’s over—over there.” Nicole nods toward a section to the right of where the path forks up ahead. “I-I think. That’s where h-his parents were buried. F-Family plot, maybe.” Nicole scratches the back of her neck before shoving her trembling hand into the pocket of her jeans. 

Nicole’s are sweaty, almost embarrassingly so, and she adjusts her grip on Waverly’s hand. The smaller woman leans her head against Nicole’s shoulder as an attempt to comfort her. They reach the small group of headstones Nicole was gesturing to and Waverly looks up at the redhead. “You sure?”

“No.” 

“I get it,” Waverly assures her. “Do you want me to stay back while you go, or?” 

“N-No. Please.” 

Waverly touches Nicole’s other arm, running her fingers up and down her bicep. “Hey, I got you. I’ve always got you.” 

Henry Haught’s grave is nothing special. It’s certainly not anything ominous or dark; it’s not even particularly ugly. But it carries a weight that nearly brings Nicole to her knees. She goes down, but Waverly catches her before she falls, and she sinks into her like there’s lead in her limbs. 

Nicole chokes out a dry laugh. He’s still lying, even after his death. _Friend. Lover. Father._ These words, these warm words, are supposed to describe _her_ father? The marble of the headstone is the only thing that depicts him as he was; cold. 

“This is all _bullshit_!” Nicole growls. “He didn’t have friends. He didn’t love anyone. And he sure as hell wasn’t a father to me or Hayley.” 

Waverly squeezes her arm. “Well, they can’t exactly write, ‘ _Abusive, manipulative asshat’_ on a headstone, in good conscience.” 

Nicole snorts. Looking at it again, she notices something else amidst the churning fury in her stomach; it’s soft and cool, rather than white-hot and jagged. _Relief._ Nicole needs to wrap herself in that, so she sinks into Waverly and breathes in the familiarity of vanilla and jasmine. Waverly pushes herself onto her tiptoes and kisses Nicole’s forehead with a gentleness that makes Nicole stumble for entirely different reasons. Standing here, staring at the headstone, in Waverly’s arms, she knows he can’t hurt her anymore.

“He’s gone,” Nicole says firmly. It’s more like a realization than a confirmation. All this time, she’s been letting someone who’s dead control her life. 

“He’s gone,” Waverly echoes, pressing a kiss to Nicole’s chin. “Nothing but a ghost.”

“You can go back to the car, Wave. I’ll be there in a minute,” Nicole says, giving Waverly a small smile.

“You’re really brave. I hope you know that; I _really_ hope you know that.” Waverly states. She’s got a very matter-of-fact tone, but the edges of her words are soft in that angelic way that is purely Waverly.  She runs her fingers through fiery red hair and Nicole leans into her touch and kisses the palm of Waverly’s hand. Waverly kisses her chin again before letting go of Nicole and making her way back down the path. 

Nicole stares at the graves around her father’s; decorated with flowers and photos. 

“No one’s bringin’ you flowers, hmm? I’m surprised, considering you’re supposed to be some lover and friend.” Nicole tuts, shaking her head. She walks around the headstone, rapping her knuckles along the top of it. “I spent so much time being afraid to live because of what you did. And let me tell you, living in the shadow of someone who’s in the ground, is tough. I mean, it’s not like I could stop by for a chat to work through my shit. But I’m done, Dad. I’m done with you. That woman back there? Her name is Waverly. I told her about you; about the monster you were.” 

Nicole’s fingers straighten out and she runs her fingers along the word ‘Haught’ engraved on the stone. It’s nearly identical to the font that was embossed on her uncle’s camera strap. Yet, it carries none of the same warmth or weight on Nicole. 

“And you were wrong, because she stayed anyway. And she loves me and I love her and damn it, I’m gonna marry her someday. And honestly, Dad, it’s your loss that you won’t be there to walk me down the aisle when I do.” Nicole sighs. “Like Waverly said, you’re nothin’ but a ghost.”

Her hand flattens and she pats the stone a final time.

“And I’m not afraid of ghosts anymore.” 

 

 _Peace_ is the only word Nicole can think of as she walks back to the car. As she walks back to Waverly. The last year has been such a whirlwind. Nicole went from the all-time low of being completely alone, besides maybe Calamity Jane, to falling in love with Waverly, who’s quite possibly the most beautiful soul Nicole has ever come into contact with, and building a family; some blood-related, some not. 

Nicole gets back to the car and Waverly is sitting in the driver’s seat. The stubborn look on Waverly’s face makes any thought of protesting leave Nicole’s mind, and she walks around to the passenger side and gets in. 

“Are you alright?” Waverly asks. 

“I am.” Nicole nods. “I really am.” 

“God, I am so proud of you.” 

 

They’ve only been driving for a few minutes when Waverly pulls off to the side of the road. They’re surrounded by trees, but a field of wildflowers illuminated by broken rays of sunlight lies in a small clearing. Nicole’s brow furrows as she watches Waverly shut off the car and unbuckle her seatbelt, but she starts to do the same with her own. “Wave, what are you doing?” 

Waverly only smiles mischievously. “You brought your camera, didn’t you? This seems like a pretty good photo op to me.” 

Nicole reaches into the backseat, pulling it out of its case in a matter of seconds. Waverly claps her hands together with a blinding smile. 

“But you have to catch me first!” And then she’s darting into the grass, letting the flowers swallow her up like waves on the beach. Waverly turns back to look at her and Nicole feels a warmth taking over her body, like there’s a star where her heart should be. “Aren’t you coming?” 

“I swear to god, I’m gonna marry you, one day,” Nicole mumbles. 

And then she runs into the field after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit. 
> 
> please leave comments and kudos if you feel so inclined. i love all of you.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it, y'all. i can't even begin to describe how much it meant to me.

The first things Nicole notice when she walks in the door is the smell of chocolate-chip cookies and Waverly singing in the kitchen. It’s times like this that simply floor her; small, mundane moments that remind her how  _ lucky _ she is. 

“Can you put the cookies in, Jackson? I think your mom is home.” 

“Sure, Mama.”

Waverly appears in the doorway moments later. The rays of sun streaming through the windows light up her face in a golden hue. “Hey, Baby.” 

“Hello, my love,” Nicole responds, making her way over to Waverly and pulling her in by the hips. Waverly giggles, resting her hands on Nicole’s shoulders. 

“How was therapy?” Waverly asks, loosening Nicole’s tie almost autonomously. Nicole’s wearing her glasses today and it magnifies the warmth of her eyes tenfold. Waverly couldn’t look away if she tried. 

“It was good.” Nicole smiles softly. She doesn’t frequent therapy anymore, but there’s a support group that meets once a month, and she usually tries to clear her schedule for it. Her past isn’t much of an issue for her day-to-day, but every once in a while, the anxiety gets the better of her and it’s nice to have people who understand. And on days that dip even just a little, Waverly is right by her side through all of it. “Yeah, it was really good.” 

“Happy to hear that.” Waverly sways them a little and pulls Nicole in to kiss her. They stay like that for a few blissful moments until there’s a disgruntled sigh from behind Waverly. 

“Alright, please,” Jackson groans, covering his eyes with his hand. 

Nicole rolls her eyes at her teenage son. As if to spite him, Nicole spins Waverly dramatically, dips her, and pecks her lips. Nicole only chuckles when Jackson huffs again, but he accepts when she goes to hug him. 

“How are you, Jackie?” Nicole lets go of him and ruffles his dark curls. At fourteen, he’s already towering over Waverly, which makes him and Nicole match up almost evenly. “How’d that test go in history today?” 

“Aced it.”

“See, what did we tell you? Flashcards pay off. I’m proud of you.” Nicole pats his shoulder. She looks over at Waverly, who’s got a look Nicole knows very well on her face. Absolute bliss. 

“I gotta go get ready. Cookie timer’s on, Mama.” Jackson claps his hands together and starts toward the stairs.

“Okay, Honey,” Waverly calls after him before turning to Nicole. “So, he’s leaving in a bit. And Jillian went to Wynonna’s after soccer. She texted a little while ago and asked if she could stay over there tonight.”

“Damn, the new parts for her Olympus got delivered today. I was excited for us to work on it tonight,” Nicole sighs. Waverly hugs her wife tightly, breathing in the familiar scent she finds on Nicole’s collar. Lavender shampoo, pleasant and sweet. And coffee, strong, but not unpleasantly so. 

“God, not to sound cliche, but those two are growing up so fast. We started fostering them almost ten years ago, Nic.” 

“And adopted ‘em seven years ago. Shit, Wave; he and Jill are in high school. Can we please keep Benji eight forever? ” Nicole lifts her head off Waverly’s shoulder and looks around. “Speaking of which, where is our little Benjamin?” 

“Upstairs. He passed out as soon as he came home. Third grade’s rough on him, I guess.” 

Nicole pulls Waverly in closer, giving a sultry smile. “Ah, so that means we’re alone for dinner, then?,  _ Mrs. Haught _ ?” Nicole emphasizes the title; it’s been over ten years since their wedding, and Waverly’s face still scrunches up all giddily when Nicole calls her that. Nicole will never get over how cute it is. 

“Yes, but our eight year old son is still going to be upstairs, so slow your roll, Honey.” 

Nicole scoffs. “Darling, get your head out of the gutter; I just want to order Chinese, change into our pajamas, and watch whatever bad rom-com is on HBO.”

Waverly lets her head fall against Nicole’s chest and groans. Nicole looks amused and rather pleased with herself. “You’re impossible.”

“You love me,” Nicole hums into Waverly’s hair, and the brunette sighs contentedly and nods against the fabric of Nicole’s button-down. 

“Now and forever.”

 

* * * * * 

 

“This is still my favorite part of the day,” Nicole murmurs. She’s changed into shorts and an old t-shirt, hair pulled back into a messy bun. They’re in the middle of the living room rug, swaying along to a song that it’s too late for either of them to remember the title of. Their dog, Bernie, is stretched out on the kitchen tile, his paws peeking out from behind the kitchen counter. 

“I can’t believe our nightly ritual has survived this long.”

“Ah, I made you a promise, didn’t I?” Nicole goes quiet for a moment, trying to work it all out in her head. “This stupid, dorky,  _ amazing  _ thing has lasted fourteen years, two apartments, a year-long house-hunt, three adoptions. . . and here I am, dancing to classic rock with my wife, while our teenage twins are out living their lives and our eight-year-old son is sleeping upstairs.”

“Mom! Mom! Mama!” 

“Alright, so maybe he’s not sleeping. I’ll be back, darlin’.” Nicole offers Waverly an apologetic smile. She’s padding up the stairs before Waverly can offer to go herself. Nicole returns a few minutes later, albeit a bit slower, due to a sixty-pound blonde child clinging to her back. Nicole lets out a dramatic groan as she plops Benji onto the couch and drops herself onto the floor. 

“Hey, Benj, what’s going on?” Waverly kneels down in front of him, sitting on the floor next to Nicole. The anniversary of his parents’ passing was a few days ago, and he’s been waking up every night. Nicole is always there, talking him through it; even though she’s in a much better place, she’s still no stranger to nightmares. It’s not exactly the kind of thing Nicole wants to bond with her son over, but she’s glad she can help him.

They watch him trip over his words for a minute and Nicole puts her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, bud, it’s alright. Do you know what your mama’s and my policy is?” 

Benji shakes his head. 

“If you’re having trouble talking right now, then we’ll wait until the morning. Right now, it’s just about making sure you feel comfortable and safe, okay? So what can we do for you? Bedtime story? Movie? Ooh, I think that there’s some of the Neapolitan strawberry left. Hmm?” Nicole wiggles her eyebrows.  

“C-Can we go through the picture book again?” Benji asks. 

Nicole looks over at Waverly with a lopsided smile. “What do you say, Babe? Up for a trip down memory lane?” 

Waverly grins back at the redhead. “I’ll go get the photo album.” 

“What’s this one again?” Benji points to a photo of Nicole. It was taken on her first day as TA for the head of photography at Purgatory University. Nicole hates it because she said she looks like a dorky little kid, but that’s precisely what Waverly loves about it. Nicole’s glasses are slipping down on her nose, her bow tie is crooked, and she’s gripping the strap of her bag tightly. 

“That was my first day of class when I went back to school to become a teacher,” Nicole says, before pointing to a photo beside it. “And that was me at graduation.”

They go through more photos, telling stories when Benji asks them to. There’s a set of pictures of Waverly and Nicole overlooking a city lit up at night.  that he gestures to. “What’s this?” 

“That was in New York City, when I asked Mama to marry me.” 

“Can you tell me about it?” 

“Well, Mama had never been, so we flew down there for a few days. I showed her where I went to school and the coffee shop my friends and I used to study at and all the cool little things in the city that tourists overlook. On our last night there, I took her to the Empire State Building—that’s the really tall one we went to— so she could see everything all lit up. It was cliche and really cheesy, but—” 

“It was absolutely perfect,” Waverly finishes. 

_ “What’s up with you, Babe?” Waverly asks. Nicole is fidgeting next to her in the cab, flicking switches on her camera in a rhythmic pattern that falls in time with the radio.  _

_ “Nothin’, I’m just really excited to show you this,” Nicole assures her. The ring is tucked away without a box in the pocket of her jacket next to a spare roll of film. “It all looks so pretty at night.”  _

_ “I bet. Times Square was beautiful.”  _

_ The rest of the ride is silent as Waverly’s hand finds Nicole’s. The driver lets them out right near the front of the building, but Nicole wordlessly leads Waverly to a back door where a dark-haired man lets them in. Him and Nicole exchange a few words and then he leads them to an employee-only elevator, swipes his keycard, and sends them on their way.  _

_ “What the hell was that?” Waverly asks with a laugh in her breath. Her eyebrows are furrowed deeply in confusion and Nicole chuckles despite her nerves.  _

_ All Nicole replies with is, “My college roommate owed me a favor.”  _

_ “You continue to surprise me, Nicole Haught.” Waverly shakes her head. Their fingers brush together and Nicole takes Waverly’s hand with her as they let the elevator carry them upwards. The only noises are their soft breaths and the mechanical hum of the elevator. Small spaces have always made Nicole uneasy; they too closely resemble closets to her. But even now, travelling floor after floor as the number on the display screen stretches into triple digits, she can’t find it in herself to be anything other than buzzing with excitement.  _

_ There’s a ding and the doors glide open, allowing Nicole to lead Waverly out onto the building’s highest point accessible to anyone who’s not maintenance. It’s an open-air observation deck, deserted from its usual small mob of tourists. Instead, there are lights strung up all over and what Waverly can only imagine is a picnic of sorts set up in the center.  _

_ She gasps silently beside Nicole, squeezing her hand as she looks over at her in awe. Nicole is smiling earnestly, scratching at the back of her neck as she blushes to her hairline. The only thing Waverly can think to say is, “Must’ve been a pretty big favor.”  _

_ Nicole laughs, full and rich, and pulls Waverly forward until they reach the railing. Waverly’s breath gets stuck in her throat seeing the buzzing city all lit up and stretching for what seems like miles in front of her. Nicole isn’t even looking at the view, but she’s got an otherworldly glow in the city lights, a grin splitting her cheeks wide enough that Waverly has to catch her breath for a different reason entirely.  _

_ “What do you think?” Nicole asks, shining brown eyes reflecting the lights of the city back at Waverly.  _

_ “It’s beautiful,” Waverly says, but she doesn’t look away from Nicole. “Seriously, Nic. It’s breathtaking.”  _

_ “You’re breathtaking,” Nicole breathes without so much as a second thought. Waverly blushes, illuminated by flashing lights, and Nicole can’t help herself. She presses her lips against Waverly’s and breathes in the intoxicating smell she finds on Waverly’s skin. After a long few moments, Nicole remembers what it is they’re there for. “Right. Okay. Uh,” she struggles for the words as her face blooms crimson because Waverly is looking at her with a soft, hopeful excitement that makes Nicole forget everything she’s ever learned about talking to human people.  _

_ “This city is really special to me. I mean, yeah, t was the first place I lived after everything, but more importantly, it was the first place I was allowed to actually live my life as who I am. And I was happy here. At least, as happy as I could be. I had friends and people that were like me and I got to go to school to do the thing I loved. And that was enough in my little bubble of a world for a while. But then I moved back to Canada for some unspoken reason I’ve only just figured out. I realize now that I was looking for you, Waverly.  _

_ “I’ve never been a firm believer in fate, given the amount of times it’s fucked me over, so I’d rather call it luck. On some whim, I managed to run into you. And, well, you know how the story goes from there. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it’s really amazing to be here with you. I’m in the city that changed my life with the person who changed my life, and I’ve never been happier. Ever.”  _

_ “Nic,” Waverly says softly. She reaches up to stroke Nicole’s cheek and the redhead leans into her touch automatically “I love you.”  _

_ Nicole nods, pressing a kiss to Waverly’s palm. “I love you too. Which is why I want this—us.”  _

_ She lets go of Waverly’s hand and reaches into her jacket. With shaky fingers, she pulls out the ring, holding it out to Waverly with shaky fingers. It’s simple, nothing flashy, but it’s Waverly.  _

_ “As long as you want me, I will be by your side. What do you say, Wave?”  _

_ Waverly’s eyes are welling up with tears as she pulls Nicole in by the lapels of her jacket and kisses her slowly. It’s freezing in the December air, but Nicole melts upon contact with Waverly. “Yes.”  _

By the time Nicole can stop herself talking, Benji’s snuggling into a blanket between them, with his head in her lap and his legs in Waverly’s. Waverly has a dreamy, fond smile on her face as her eyes meet Nicole’s in the dim lighting of the living room. Benji yawns from between them and Nicole looks down at the boy. 

“Why don’t we put you back to bed, pal?” Nicole chuckles, running a hand gently through his hair. His eyes flash with panic and Nicole rests a hand on his arm. “Hey, you can sleep with us tonight, if you want?” 

“Please.”

Waverly and Benji make their way up the stairs with Nicole in tow, but she stops to watch them for a moment. For a good portion of her life, she never believed she could have this. That feeling in her chest like she’s directly taking in serotonin instead of oxygen. She supposes fate wanted her to have her happy ending after all. If twenty years ago, someone told Nicole Haught she was lucky, she would’ve laughed in their faces. 

But not anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, that's it. i really hope i did them justice. i loved playing with new versions of Nicole and Waverly. It's honestly my favorite thing about AUs, you get to explore character and world building while still trying having something to fall back on. i love love love Waverly and Nicole, but I do think I'm going to be taking a lil break from writing them. I have in no way lost interest or love for them or this show; I'm just lacking inspiration. I'm sure it'll get fired back up as we approach the new season, but in the mean time, I'm super into stranger things right now. Elmax is one of my new favorite ships, sol look out for that if any of y'all are ST fans. It's a bit more my speed too, seeing as I'm in high school and I can write about high school characters. 
> 
> But, I'm really, really proud of this story, albeit a bit sad to see it come to an end. Thank you all for going on this journey with me; I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. 
> 
> all the love.


End file.
